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People in a hard place (through PTSD or anything else) whose self esteem and feelings of self worth are rock bottom can often believe people are better off without them, that they're a burden or at least their condition is. I think if it's very much focused on them it's likely to be mostly mood...

It will, at first. My ExSO is so different under the influence of the person who this thread is about, just like a total different person. She clearly has issues with their behaviour, but they work their charms on her and its "yeah it's fine, I'll be alright, I'm off to watch x with them"...

That is ultimately the saddest part, I don't hate my ex, she's suffering, she has suffered and she's doing her best to survive, sadly right now that doesn't include me in the way I'd like. It's a shame she is engaging in connections that will ultimately add to or make this all worse, but what...

I think you need to develop a default position of taking people at face value and respecting their word and then simply having stricter boundaries for yourself where, if they bypass them, they're out. It's what I am trying to develop, don't overthink everything, take people at their word but...

It's good you're indulging in self care Mon, it's very important and something I have neglected myself. I completely understand where you're coming from, this is a very stressful time for you and you need to know who you can rely on right now, even just on a practical level let alone an...

Thanks Mon, you're 100% correct. I miss what I had, I miss the best friend I had, I miss the feeling of such a close loving connection. I think last night was the acceptance amidst other stressors that it's over and I've lost all that, for now. Will I ever have it back (with her or somebody...

No need to apologise, you've captured my feelings to some extent. What has distressed and upset me is not only do I have to process that, for now anyway (and I suspect for good), my relationship is over, but now even our friendship is dictated by somebody else. She's quite willing to talk to me...

You're spot on with the plane analogy. My friend is also right, my life has become built around her and her issues, I have to build my schedule and my life around myself first. We have a good day of talking? I'm on a high. It gets interrupted or this person interferes? I'm angry, hurt, low. I...

Spot on, worse case for me was she always was there than suddenly wasn't, and now, even though she's re-engaging, our contact is dictated by somebody else (as you know from my other thread). This forum is great, but we all know it's our SOs at the time supporting us and telling us our pain is...

Thanks @boodle, admittedly tonight I broke down and cried, not so much about this per se, just everything in my life. My mum is getting panic attacks again, I'm single, she's being treated like crap and our contact is dictated by somebody else, despite trying to move forward and enact self care...

I got blamed for absolutely everything, I'm convinced it was because I was a safe target who wouldn't hurt them in retaliation.

Simple answer? You can't. Because isolation and removal of normal communication channels is such a fundamental element of many coping mechanisms you're going to be left filling in the blanks, unfortunately. The more communication is cut off the more you're mind is going to run away with...

Interesting thread. Me and my "sufferer" are now at the "I need a friend more than I need or want anything else" stage, whilst still being adamant I am the most important person in her life. For all intents and purposes our romantic relationship is considered "over", yet after I left her alone...

Sorry to hear that Jensen, similar story here. For now me and my ExSO are just friends, so regardless of the future it has terminated a valuable relationship for me. Mine is keeping me around and is adamant I am the most important person in her life still but, I'm preparing myself for a new...

I'm going to assume asking her for emotional support during the relationship. It would, as Friday says, purely be speculation but maybe she felt supporting your emotional issues was too heavy for her due to the relationship she had with you being a romantic one rather than a platonic one? I...

Stay strong, as much as you can. Space may just be what you both need to figure out what you're going to do going forward, I know you love him but you have to think about yourself too. Can you go on like this? Not getting any love back in return for yours? You have to remember this is about...

@boodle, thank you for the reply. Don't worry about being blunt, I'm never going to snap at anybody here even if it's something I don't want to hear necessarily. In regard to Facebook, I've already unfollowed her, I only saw the post because I checked my friend had said happy birthday. Odd...

I'd confirm the above, my "sufferer" has really appreciated the effort I've put into researching her condition and said "even a bit of understanding is better than none".

I'd also add something else she said, you have to remember people do things because people do things, not because of you or your perceived faults.

If it helps, me and "my sufferer" had very staggered and bad communication for well over a month including a spell of no talking, initiated by myself. Since she reached back out though we now talk every single day, for hours, right now she just wants me as a friend but, we talk like we used to...

I am not violent, so I'd never raise some sort of caveats out of the blue where I could be. Personally.

It would be useful, today me and my ExSO (for now anyway) had some good communication, but that's because she's in a better place than she was, it's very hard to cut through the fog at the height of it all.

I have OCD, self examination is sort of our thing ;)

Ironically, it probably has been. Her words "I need a friend more than I want or need anything more" right now, so I think that probably makes it quite clear where I stand. It hurts, sure, but she was at least a bit more open today about understanding how I feel and if it was in the reverse she...

@boodle Thanks again for the reply, it was very useful. Right now, I genuinely don't know what to think any more, part of me strongly feels there's more to this than she's letting on, the way he's all over her FB with "Happy Birthday Babe xxxxxxx" makes my paranoia twinge and believe that this...