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Hi Taylor and all the best to you.

Hello Unravelling1 I haven't been here that long either but also say "welcome!" to you and warm regards. I have this favourite quote in my head right now "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step".

Hello Dissociator This Forum is a place of healing I have found, and a lot of wisdom and insight can be gained here. You are absolutely in the right place. Warm wishes to you as you steer your course through your own healing process and find your own true Self - you have a great tool...

Wow, the amount of collective insight and knowledge here just blows my mind! Thank you everyone for sharing. I only now at 44 years of age am getting the feeling that I am truly "waking up" to my life. Yes, I am totally in the codependent - Borderline Personality Disorder dynamic with my...

D123, I think I need to clarify that I don't have PTSD. I am in a marriage with a man who has Complex PTSD due to childhood abuse, trauma etc. He also has been diagnosed with Bipolar Mood Disorder and recently I started to suspect that he has Borderline Personality traits. I am beginning to...

I became the total disciplinarian with myself and my body as a teenager and well into my adulthood. I developed anorexia nervosa, I just didn't eat much for about 3 years, I told everyone I was turning to vegetarianism to avoid eating any protein. I lost a lot of weight, became anaemic and...

This is exactly the same way I tend to react dear Macca! I doubt my own thoughts and feelings, and tell myself I'm making too much of a big deal out of how my childhood was! I think we do it, because we are so used to being undermined and subtly invalidated, that it has become our default...

Yes yes yes! I also came across this article not so long ago, and I emailled it to my sister as well. We always had this pervasive sense that somehow there had been "abuse" in our family, but it was not ever really anything overt. Apart from the 13 years with my mother's next husband (after...

Kahlan, I think I've been going through a similar thing, although of course I don't know any of your circumstances. I think I get drawn to a life partner who has extreme pain and trauma and unfinished business, and I end up draining myself trying to rescue them because: they are actually...

Dear Dale, I read your military diagnosis "severe clinical depression, ptsd, and anxiety disorder with unknown cause" and I could not help but think, isn't this just the most ultimate form of denial on the part of those who sent you into combat. Hell! Going into war is cause enough! I...

Blue Velvet, my heart goes out to you and your losses suffered and deep pain of being so betrayed. You are nobody's sex toy and you do not have to submit to anyone with whom you don't want to share your body. You do not have to submit to anything that breaks you down at the hands of another...

Today I am not so much angry, but so desperately SAD. Sad that he had a cutting session the other day, a day before a psychiatrist appointment. He texted me at work about it "no matter how deeply I cut, I still feel nothing". I did not know what to do. I agonised at my desk, whilst having to...

Thanks Solara and Promicarus.

Thank you from the heart to all the replies. My husband was this little boy. He has stopped asking why at 36 years of age and he believes he is just cursed, but I am new in his life and when he gradually opens up about all his trauma, I cannot help but ask the Universe, why does this happen...

I hope the following does not trigger or scare anyone too much: This is perhaps a question that can never be answered. Why does a mother hate her child? Why does she abuse drugs whilst pregnant, causing her child to have a predisposition toward opioid deficiency for the rest of his life. Why...

aj1 my heart hurts for you and everyone in a similar situation. I am facing the fear that I may soon be in this situation myself.

Sorry if I offend anyone, but what about the possibility of having not just chronic PTSD from early childhood trauma, and not just a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar, but also having developed a specific personality disorder from it all? I am thinking along the lines of borderline...

I hope you find healing Keifer.

Thank you everyone for your caring responses, which I am only getting to read today. Some points for me to ponder there. I realise I have a problem with codependency and anyone who has issues of their own can hook someone like me into a drama triangle and I swoop in to rescue any "victims" in...

Every time I feel the need to write and vent here, I feel quite pathetic. I started out with such a bang, ever-optimistic, ever-hopeful when I first met my Sufferer. And all of my good intentions are being eroded away week by week, month by month as I witness my Sufferer husband having to face...

Oh Keifer, your postings remind me so much of my Sufferer. He talks and feels the same way. So many people the world over who live a life of desperate pain, who have seen such trauma. And everyone feeling so alone in their agony. Unable to function and misunderstood by society. But not...

Here I am, angry again. What else is new. So the sessions booked for my Sufferer's deep soul-rotting revelation which he made to me the other day, have morphed not into sessions to deal with the childhood incest (on top of every other trauma under the sun that this man has been through), but...

Thank you Toria

Seth, thank you for writing this. Do you know they call incest "murder of the soul". As a male to be sexually abused by a woman, no less your mother, surely feels like a one-way trip to hell. A male in the situation of sex is more of a participant than a recipient, in the usual sense of the...

Hello whoever may be interested. I feel that since I put this whole story out there, there is an onus on me to put out at update. The past weeks have been eventful, both good and not so good. They have brought new insights to both my sufferer and myself. We live in a very dangerous country...