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It takes several minutes for your heart to stop racing just because something fell off a kitchen counter when your back was to it.

I saw the first therapist for a few months when I was home on a summer break from college. Then I did group and individual therapy on campus for several years, maybe three or four, I can't remember exactly. I had an excellent individual therapist off-campus for about two years - that was when...

recognition

Exhausted. I got up at 8:30 A.M. yesterday and fought hard to stay awake all day. When bedtime came I took two Tylenol PM and still couldn't get to sleep until 5:00 A.M., and now I have a diphenhydramine hangover to boot. Sigh.

I can relate to this. I have severe chronic pain from permanent car accident injuries. It definitely complicates a lot of things. It's very hard to try to listen to your body when there's a constant static "white noise" of pain. Like you, I have also formed this weird, adaptive relationship with...

Thank you for posting this blog. It is profound. I found it very helpful, especially how she described finally being able to piece things together after so long; how things that hadn't made sense to her up until a certain point finally did. I also found helpful that she talked about not being...

feather

Not exactly. My abuser professed a particular religion (he obviously wasn't following it) so that turned me off of that religion for many years although I'm past that now. I read a wonderful book about women and religion and it helped me see that religion is between me and God and no one else...

I got up at 8:30, trying to correct my insomnia. I'm fighting to stay awake now.

I made it to my doctor's appointment.

Angry at myself for not dealing with things better.

Getting up, taking a shower, and going out and voting.

Fatigue. No sleep last night. Have to go to a doctor's appointment this morning. Ugh.

mineral

I needed so badly to connect with someone and to be listened to that that overrode my fear. It wasn't courage so much as need, I guess. It's very hard. Keep communicating with your therapist about how you're reacting to the therapy, Cool Cat. The therapist should listen and adjust accordingly.

It's really hard to break out of thinking that way. It's natural but the "Why did this happen to me?" stuff will make you go crazy if you can't find a way out.

Throughout high school and college I never got enough sleep. In high school I had to get up extra early for a before-school activity every day. In college I worked multiple jobs to keep my head above water while going to school and I was perpetually sleep-deprived. All those developmental years...

"Saint Agnes and the Burning Train," an instrumental piece by Sting. Odd title aside, there's a sense of resilience and buoyancy in it - at least that's what I hear. It's quietly persistent. It endures without tumbling under, it might stumble now and then but there's a definite note of hopefulness.

It takes me forever to come back from something like that, too. The other day someone was walking behind my chair and they stumbled and violently grabbed the back of my chair to keep from falling. It was no one's fault, just a normal thing but it really shook me. I have some really heavy...

Yes, I'm terrified of dentists and I just had some major work done a little while ago. Due to a small bone spur in my jaw I am very, very hard to numb (the spur blocks the main nerve so the needle can't get to it). I've been drilled on raw too many times to count. I always sit down with a new...

I like the way you put this. I know that feeling.

I feel sad and lost. Tomorrow is Halloween which used to be one of my favorite days of the year. I loved costuming but there aren't many costumes for a dumpy middle-aged woman (please, no more suggestions of Ursula from The Little Mermaid). I'm too poor for costuming, anyway. It's weird to have...

Ratty pics, please? I adore them, they're the best pets EVER! I'm allergic so I can't have anything like that. :(

I walked four miles (!) and listened to the guy at Starbucks tell me about his rather extensive history with the company. People tell me stuff like that all the time, I will never understand why.

Sleepy. I actually slept a little last night (after doping myself with Benadryl) but this is histamine-sleepy from allergies.