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This is exactly.....succinctly....how it is. Thank you for that, and if I may, could I use that to describe how it feels? My supporters have not experienced war, and I hope they never do, but with all the media portraying war I think they could understand. Some of my experiences are from war...

I also do this....yet again, the forum lets us know “we’re not alone” thanks!

I very much understand what you said here, it’s a motivator for keeping quiet, ‘stay strong for everyone’ or else the ‘bad’ will catch you off guard and you won’t be able to protect them. Team player....sure, am one. But not when it comes to my own battle. That’s mine, my demons, my enemy...

You’re very correct @LuckiLee is exemplary indeed!

@esz hearing you. I’ve heard many times before, “just be yourself” and though that can inherently be an easy thing for some and/or a goal to strive to achieve for others.....it’s challenging when you’re not fully sure “who” you are. Not in the existential sense, but for me....I’m just starting...

Thanks @LuckiLee for your response. Writing things out has always been a better way for me to communicate and I like the suggestion. We do have a couples T and see her about 1 x a month. But usually stay away from talking about ptsd per se....we talk about how I can be more comfortable with...

The unexpectedness of PTSD, the fact you can be swimming along just fine and the water is calm when all of a sudden you get pulled under or swept quickly away from shore. And you don't know when you'll be able to make it back to shore, or up for more than one or two breaths before you're pulled...

I hope I’m allowed to post this.... sanctuary by welshly arms. Speaks to how I feel here. hope the link works.

Exactly right smack dab where you are. Had a few weeks off from therapy like you. But have been battling this back and forth game of go to therapy ——- take risk being vulnerable, connect ———hell no what was I thinking?! Super needy and pathetic. Stop therapy immediately. It’s very frustrating...

There’s that strength again ? And.....endure. Tricky word for us I’d say. That’s been at my core existence, learned young to endure and take responsibility for others actions, then followed a career that rewarded me for being able to hide my emotions and endure. No one to blame for any of that...

That’s why I think a rule like that’s important, cuz without my own understanding that we have the rule to try to break thru my avoidance it surely would feel like retraumatization. I know I have to take the challenging path to heal, avoiding it keeps me stuck.....but if it’s too much, I can...

Rules and guidelines.....some a bit weird but necessary for my brain. I’ll share the ones that might resonate... - I decide if the topic can be discussed, words don’t always flow for me, so if I hand him a paper I’m allowed to stay in the room or leave while he reads. - if I leave he texts...

This resonates with me very much, it’s that fear that holds us down from pushing past it. The unknown, but under control by the response from someone else. It’s taken loads of time and practice to get to where you are now and I see so much strength in your latest posts. Someone else’s response...

YES! Trauma focused boot camp with sparring, hot drinks, running, and maybe yoga to loosen up all the stuckness.

Sorry I don’t know but the place you’re looking for is exactly what I’ve been looking for too! We could start our own place cuz I know there are others who look for exactly that too....a refuge, a sanctuary, place where you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone and symptoms can happen with a...

Waiting beside you. I can take watch if you want to rest.

I had to take propranolol before my exposure sessions. There’s some new research that when propranolol is used just after the exposure and the person is able to get a decent sleep, the intensity decreases faster....I couldn’t find the paper to link here but will try to. The sleep part as you...

I’m a vet. Did 2 sessions of exposure therapy this past year. It was most definitely challenging and I’m certain everyone responds differently. I have a long standing tendency to dissociate in order to maintain functional integrity. So, we didn’t push the exposure. It’s left open to when I’m...

Thanks all. Still in the thickets. How it goes. I don’t believe hospital is viable option. Yes, fantastic advice here. Plan, plan better outcome. But just can’t see how to do that from the quicksand. If I really wanted to exit, that’s it. I’d be gone. No word said. Done. But people make...

Sitreps essential. Med evacs too so we can get resources rolling. Know here we won’t do Locstats....but If you wanted, I’d find a way to get you real time support @Ronin You’re important to me. My comms are CDN, but likely they make sense anyway.

Just wondering, and know there are big variations with when to go. Never ever judge anyone for seeking help, in fact I honour those who do. My pride is interfering and I want it to be private. But if I have these things then I clearly don’t need a hand with my stuff. Feeling trapped and...

Welcome Alice! @traumaqueen. I can easily say this forum has been an incredible resource for me on this journey. When there have been rough patches for me ( and there’s been plenty) even just reading that I’m not alone in this battle is reassuring. All that to say, I’m not beyond the point you...

No matter if you’re in a good or bad spot, you’re always welcome here @kimermchay. Wishing you better times.

I been stuck in the badlands lately, since beginning of November but maybe before that. Hard to track it when you’re in it. Get up, plod on, set your paces out and go, autopilot. I know the calm you mention, where in the current environment you hear complaints and have nothing for them...

If chickens are the theme for now.....this is me. Welcome and hope you can find some answers to questions you may have in here