Military I Need To Calm Away From Calm.

[Ronin]

*

(Just marking space to ask the question after tomorrow if I don't come up with a better solution. Also b/c asterisks = my default with way many for Can't talk but will respond ASAP & not avoiding.)

 

[Tinyflame]

That's a good system @Ronin . :hug:

I guess it's recognizing the difference between emotionless resolve (which probably has too many emotions underneath) and actual calm.

Hope you feel better asap. Hugs to you. :hug:

 

[Warrior Chicken]

Waiting beside you. I can take watch if you want to rest.

 

[Freida]

Waiting beside you. I can take watch if you want to rest.

Me too...

 

[Ronin]

Yeah I'm trying to rest whenever back home and catnap on safe travels lol / force back that nothing IS life threatening danger to be Calm & Take Down first, about.

Kk Question time... any idea of low key lockups?

Needs bout that: Keeps me safe & Others from me safe
B. Doesn't function too closed / prison like? (I tend toward total shutdown to vegetable as self protection in these. Current teams can't afford have me there.
Or I organize riots.
Equally bad idea.)

Tldr needa backup plan and that's one angle I don't have as physically can't make myself think about it.

 

[Freida]

I have some thoughts -- can you describe a bit more what you are looking for?

 

[Ronin]

This will be prolly disjointed b/c something I'm having shit time verbalizing...

Somewhere I can clear my head / enough of a watch but not limiting movement / not asking questions but being respectful - not treating me as a traumatized civvie just because I won't share the particulars / (idk how to describe the rest. Shit ideation that would well fit into danger to self & others... that's trauma that I'm trying to work through. I'm bloody well aware it's trauma. Pissed off at myself for needing a hand out. Not holding grudges with others. Want to work this f*cker through so it stops being an issue.

And so I can happily be able to think again and go back to studying medicine. Aka shit I actually WANT to do with my life.)

 

[Warrior Chicken]

Sorry I don’t know but the place you’re looking for is exactly what I’ve been looking for too!
We could start our own place cuz I know there are others who look for exactly that too....a refuge, a sanctuary, place where you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone and symptoms can happen with a softer landing at the end.
Place to breathe and catch footholds so you can climb out of the hole like you have on your own so many times before. This place though, would make that climb just a bit easier cuz you’d have someone on belay....not free climbing without a helmet.

And no....not that delusional that I think we could start our own place like that ?

 

[Ronin]

Missed the edit window; not cussing atcha and sorry if it came out that way, swearing about some topics is just the only way to make myself talk

 

[Ronin]

To Chicken... lmao.

But I'd be all in starting own place. With sparring and hot drinks and together runs and happy.

... yeah I also think what I need is tldr trauma focused bootcamp. <deadpan>

 

[Warrior Chicken]

YES! Trauma focused boot camp with sparring, hot drinks, running, and maybe yoga to loosen up all the stuckness.

 

[Ronin]

Hell yea to mad skills, for the mad places. :sneaky:

Is I think one other thing just bugs me hard. The not knowing the f*ck skills do, to move crap out, fast and effective nuff.

Or hell, even slow but effective. So far it's so much like slow and freeze, or fast and land on my ass aand we back to baby. :meh: