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  1. M

    Food Intolerances, Sensitivities, Allergies

    This is an interesting thread. I came down suddenly with something that was eventually diagnosed as a gluten intolerance, though I would now call it "leaky gut". My endocrinologist who is the only doctor who has understood my condition calls it "weird, autoimmune thing". I think that's accurate...
  2. M

    Am I In The Wrong Here?

    Whatever your reasons for disconnecting from your friends a year ago, it's important to recognize the timing: you had been with your boyfriend for two months when you made this decision. It's not a coincidence. Why would you dump your old friends at the precise moment you are getting into a...
  3. M

    My Degree

    Please know, every single person I've ever known who has done a PhD regardless of their mental health status has reported to me that they went through what you're describing! It takes enormous persistence and faith to finish something so hard. You've already done so much, and now just have to...
  4. M

    Am I In The Wrong Here?

    Sounds more than wrong; this kind of possessive, controlling behavior sounds potentially dangerous. He seems to like having you socially isolated. I see red flags for the development of an abusive relationship. Maybe this won't happen (and it is good to hear you've been with him for over a...
  5. M

    Childhood Development And The Impact Of Trauma

    I've been thinking about this thread since I saw it. My big issue right now has to do with not being supported and in fact thwarted by my parents. For example, my father would punish me if he caught me reading, something I took great pleasure in. I was reading about developmental stages for 9...
  6. M

    Shamanic Healing: After Effects

    @change, I really appreciate you giving your perspective after experiencing shamanic healing yourself, and @Radise, I also appreciate you sharing your experience with reiki, which I also considered doing. I wanted to try something that addressed the "subtle" body. @Springer80, your words...
  7. M

    Shamanic Healing: After Effects

    @Ladyghosthunter, I understand your concerns. I should have clarified that I have had many years of traditional therapy, including EMDR. I am usually symptom-free of PTSD, except when actively working on recovery. I am interested now in working on a specific, particularly brutal experience that...
  8. M

    Getting People Out Of Your Head.

    @Phillippa, I think you can create whatever ritual is meaningful to you. I included a photo and a letter, but the ritual would have been just as effective, I think, with just a letter. I really resonated with the (small) fire and sending the burning letter and photo down the river. That is what...
  9. M

    Shamanic Healing: After Effects

    I'd appreciate any thoughts about my experience. I'm baffled about what's happening now, worried but hopeful. I choose to see a shamanic healer as an alternative to EMDR after experiencing a shamanic journey at my yoga center and revisiting Peter Levine's "Waking the Tiger". I went hoping for...
  10. M

    Getting People Out Of Your Head.

    I created a ritual in which I burned my abuser's photo and threw the ashes into the river and watched them float away. It was remarkably successful. I let go of our relationship through it years ago. I wonder if I need to do that with some others in the present.
  11. M

    Almost Done

    @desiderata310, I didn't know you were in grad school! That's great news - congrats! You know, I think we trauma survivors sometimes confuse good arousal with the bad kind. Are you really experiencing a panic attack? Or, rather a surge of accomplishment, maybe mixed with a little hestiation...
  12. M

    My Attacker Is Dead.

    Trauma happens in our bodies, not our minds. You may know consciously that he's dead, but you've come into contact with him again by watching the video and finding out about his death. You've been triggered. I cannot emphasize enough that trauma happens for us physically, and not mentally. Try...
  13. M

    Pain + Dissociation

    Ugh, I have endometriosis too. It is awful, especially the feeling of my body being out of control. Thankfully mine is under control with meds. So sorry.
  14. M

    There's An Imaginary Man Who Watches Me..

    He sounds like a shadow figure. I think you may want to find out more about this imaginary person: who is he? why is he there? etc. Maybe you could draw him or write a story about him? Then you could find out more.
  15. M

    Bodily Side Effects Of Somatic Experiencing

    I would go farther than it's not crazy, and say that it's normal when healing from trauma. I've found that I need to find a way to listen to the pain/s in my body, even to the extent of asking my body verbally what's going on. Listening to our bodies compassionately is how we heal.
  16. M

    My Canine Is Sadly Learning She Is A Canine.

    My five year old godson is learning not to stand on the couch. He doesn't like it. I suspect the training is similar to that of your rescue dog. We are all trained really. : ) And I'm better with kids - and, yes, my husband - for having had dogs growing up.
  17. M

    Too Much Survivors Guilt

    @gizmo, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I've been following your story on this board, and I know how hard you've worked to get your own life in shape. Of course, I have a similar story. I'm grateful that I don't have to deal with what you're experiencing though. I've been estranged from my...
  18. M

    Can't Stop Feeling Ashamed/depressed About The Past And Feeling Insecure About Not Being A "man"

    I grew up in a place where people were violent. Violence was honor. I was violent; at 18, I would have told you that "no one f*cks with me" and I believed I had the physical powress to back that up. My father taught me how to fight. Men in my town always carried knives with them in their boots...
  19. M

    Therapy That's Worked For Complex Ptsd

    I've been doing some reading about the "subtle" body, which is an energetic form of ourselves. I noticed in this thread that @shimmerz, (shamanism), @franciemarnie (also shamanism, revealed in another thread), and @Hashi (craniosacral therapy) have successfully used therapies which claim to...
  20. M

    Sufferer I Feel As Is I'm Made Of Glass.

    I only have my own story to share, but I was also told by mental health professionals that I was incurable. I have so much gratitude for where I am today. I told my story in the thread below. I honestly believe that you can heal, and that you will! You life will hold unimaginable surprises. It...
  21. M

    Novels About PTSD

    I'm adding a few, which have all had an impact on me: -Siri Hustvedt's "The Sorrow of an American," which is a meditation on all types of trauma through the perspective of a New York City psychiatrist who is himself dealing with a depression. -Pat Conroy's "Prince of Tides," which directly...
  22. M

    "the Sorrows Of An American" By Siri Hustvedt - Beautiful Novel About Trauma

    The inscription on the cover page are lines from the poet Rumi: Don't turn away. Keep looking at the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you. The novel is a meditation about the effects of trauma. I didn't realize at first reading it; the experiences described feel ordinary: going...
  23. M

    Do You Notice A Rhythm With Your Trauma And Healing Process?

    Yes, the very same. It's why I believe in self-actualization, that we are all working towards being the best we can at all levels. I don't think that ever stops for human beings, though trauma survivors are uniquely poised to observe the process in ourselves. It actually gives me a lot of hope...
  24. M

    Can I Heal From C-ptsd? - Yes!

    I'm touched, @J_trustno1 and @SwordsPandaGirl - thank-you. I want to emphasize that I used to think I was unique, but I see people here on the forum in the midst of a similar process to me in my 20s. I was without family, crippled with fibromyalgia as well as PTSD, on disability, living on...
  25. M

    Can I Heal From C-ptsd? - Yes!

    Can I heal from C-PTSD? I see this question, or some variation of it, a lot on this forum. I asked it myself over and over again as a young woman when I was first in recovery, though there was no name for C-PTSD back then. Recovery required faith that I could heal, and when I despaired, my...
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