Pain + Dissociation

[Chava]

New pills (for endometriosis, so hormones) are messing with my upoer back + cramps. I'm doing everything for my back and pain...and keeping getting reminded I have no control over it. It's getting fuzzy in here, like I'm only half in my body. I just need sleep but thought it would help to reach out to others humans and use some language. Uh hu. F#*-ing cramps from nowhere. and worms in my hips. I feel small, weak, and pathetic. If tomorrow is worse I'll call my doctors (if I have enough sense). My body chemistry is too screwed up, too much not feeling good, and I don't like it in here. #&%*#+

 

[marylouise]

Ugh, I have endometriosis too. It is awful, especially the feeling of my body being out of control. Thankfully mine is under control with meds. So sorry.

 

[Chava]

Glad you found something that works for you @marylouise ....I've been having trouble with that. But my back is okay today, so might have been random spasms vs side effect.

I can have knee pain and not be stressed at all...just put on a brace and take it easy. But back pain and cramps make me nuts...the nature of that pain, especially when unpredictable and/or relentless seems to trigger overwhelming powerless feelings. Part of the pain might be trauma related in some places, but the powerless feelings seem to drive my current madness. My body was so tired last night that I actually slept pretty well...and today is better. Somewhere in my head I know pain will pass but that doesn't seem to matter when I'm in the middle of it. My tolerance is extremely poor sometimes and I just want to get out of my body (and at some point I do, but last night I took a sleeping pill and went to bed).

 

[Tippi]

@Chava , I struggle with chronic pain of a different kind and it can absolutely demoralize me. Even with medication, it lingers. I have my good days and my bad. I have known friends who had endometriosis and cramps along with back pain and they were in agony. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I get triggered so much when I feel "out of control" (and not being able to get rid of severe pain is definitely a trigger for me). I try to do what you do, too.....tell myself, "it will pass." And it eventually does. Thank goodness, right? Sometimes I feel like you do and just want to crawl out of my body and rest..........:sleep::sleep:

 

[Chava]

@Tippi ..."demoralized" is a good description. It's weird how I can feel so kicked and squashed by the universe. Seems less intense most of the time lately. Sorry you relate, but thanks for sharing...

 

[darrenS]

I too suffer from severe chronic pain , i have tried several pain meds and the only ones that seem to not trigger some sort of situation due to the highs and lows of dosage times are the butrans patch. I have been hospitalized because severe pain triggered me and i descended into a complete malestrom. The only thing i have found that helps is to keep moving no matter what , eventually the endorphins will kick in, all meds have a good and bad side , and the bad side usually involves a sensitivity to being triggered easier.

I can certainly relate to feeling demoralized, vulnerable, unsure of everything when i have a serious pain episode and feel for anyone who suffers any form of constant pain , and the complete mess they call pain management