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I've noticed this behaviour creeping back into my life recently...like today, and yesterday, over a friend online who I think thinks a certain way about me now, even though I don't really know what he thinks. I'm finding facebook is dangerous in this way, as I start going off into fantasy lands...

Been feeling so tender and on the verge of tears all day. I feel like I'm not that far off my menses, and after my massage/counselling session yesterday, lots has been stirring up...I've been feeling this pressure building up, and was upset for much of the day...sometimes able to hide it, other...

Yes RussH, that is what I was needing mostly...just basic human touch and contact, fun, enjoying each others company, hanging out, cuddles, nothing too heavy. That doesn't make me some kind of f*cked up head case who is trying to escape her pain (though I am f*cked up, and ptsd is something I...

Yeah, after the last few relationships fizzling out once I realised I had not much in common with them "who is this person?" I decided that getting to know someone is the best way to determine if they will fit in my life according to what I want...which I actually have a much clearer idea of now...

From the videos I have watched of people going into the forest to experience aya, many of whom experienced child sexual abuse, it can be different for everyone, and certainly not a light hearted, happy experience in many cases...it's hard work because you are forced to face your demons, which...

I actually think this is the best way as well. I don't like dating, and try to avoid it. I have two male 'friends' who I hang out with sometimes, and think that building solid foundations of friendship is best. This guy wasn't someone I was considering in a romantic way though Russ, I was...

That's awesome. Glad it helped in this way.

Glad to help, but how did it help you Laura 2? :)

I'm feeling much better about the whole situation. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who chimed in and helped me to not think about this person, and get more centred in my self to get clearer on what I do want.

There's a great mantra you can repeat when you are feeling like you aren't strong. It goes "What others think of me is none of my business, only what I think of me really matters." And when you say it really feel into the words...let them sink into your brain.

God Brat...can't believe that if you ask someone to stop calling you YOU are the one who can get charged for stalking? How does that even work?

I think the conflict was on one hand wanting a relationship, and on the other, not wanting one...and in between, seeking basic human needs that can often end up with attachments that aren't necessarily healthy or right for the person. I agree the wrong person can make things frustrating though...

I don't understand it either RussH. I guess some people are wired very differently though? The strange thing is he didn't even remember saying it, and he wasn't on drugs or medication when he did? At least that is what he told me, and how he acted at the time. He sounded genuinely freaked and...

Thanks. I'm taking the positives from this situation. He helped me get even clearer about what I do want and need. I had a friend like this a couple of years ago, but he turned all weird...like, really really weird and bordering on sadistic. He'd say random things to me like "I want to tie you...

Aha...understood. Yes, pretty pathetic.

This was a quote I forgot to add to my post to you earlier anthony. What I wanted to say was that we had already spent about 36 hours together in total...and had drinks, pizza, weed and canoodling...I think we'd already had our date! :D Why would he invite me out on a formal date after that?

Gosh, this sounds SO much like me and my mother, it's not even funny. Her avoidance would cause me to go the other way and be confrontational, which made her avoid and stick her head in the sand even more...which made me confront even more...ad infinitum. I'm sure my mother thinks in her head...

Thanks Gizmo. I knew I couldn't be the only one on the planet who has experienced this. Thankyou for hearing me, and believing me. :) I needed that. Oh yeah. Hence why I've tended to avoid them for years. I think this is wise. I guess the bottom line is I DIDN'T really want a...

I think I'm like this too. The guy who really did love me and wanted to marry me was very emotional and asked me to marry him after the first week, which was ridiculous. It was bad timing though as I was very symptomatic of ptsd, having just met him after the trauma, so the poor guy ended up...

Sure, and I appreciate it. Yes, we do in general. Some can pull it off like men and not get attached. I'm not the best at it I admit. That is why I don't really go for f*ck buddy situations. The last one was not right for me in any sense of the word. I was glad I managed to leave before I got...

Not sure how I'm feeling. A bit unstable. Unloved. Messy. Screwed up. Unsure. Confused. devalued. Warm physically, comforted by the cat on my lap, what is eating at me? I feel remorse, conflicted, like I've got so far to go with healing still. Learning to value myself. I feel down. I feel like...

Not even to turn up to a date he made with me fresh and not hungover? Can you please stop lecturing me here. It's not what I need at all. So you just assume from his age that he was old and haggard? When did I say he was gorgeous? He is very young looking for his age (like me) and yes, I...

When did I ever say I was looking for a marriage type relationship here? You are the ones telling me I'm seeking long term relationships. Maybe I just wanted sex as well? I'm lonely, and I met this guy, we got along and he liked me and wanted to take me out and get to know me more...he just...

How silly of me. I did see the banned sticker, but for some reason that didn't register. Must be one of those days. Thanks Nicolette. Why'd rara get banned anyway?

Is this really true, or is it a way you try and justify when you know you are being mean, by making them out to be wrong somehow?