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I got a giant U-shaped body pillow, an Amazon gift card, a gift card to my favorite craft store, an electric blanket, and socks. That is exactly what I asked for. I feel so blessed.

Congrats! I'll be seven years clean in a week, after 23 years of self harm. It's a daily challenge to make the decision not to do it, but it does get easier over time. You should be proud of yourself. It's a powerful addiction and not everyone can overcome it.

Congratulations! This is a wonderful accomplishment. You should be so proud.

Seeing my family. We all pack into my Grandpa's house for a good meal, lots of talking and laughing and hugs, and a fun (and competitive!) random gift exchange. My birthday is the day after Christmas, so I get to see my family two days in a row. I am Christian, so Christmas has special...

SO my therapist asked a couple weeks ago if I'd be willing to answer a series of questions, with the intent of those answers being to help people who are just starting the journey into trauma therapy. I agreed to do it. I shared it with two friends after I wrote it out, and they both said it...

When I was in the psych unit last year, they had essential oils available to us. I didn't use any - my abuse happened at the hands of someone who was always using strongly-scented sprays and rinses and so on, so most of the scents are triggering. Be careful, and if you are on any medication...

It's slippery ground, this situation. If your partner isn't right for you, that's fine. But until you are no longer with your partner, is it really okay with you to be choosing someone else to be in a relationship with? I've seen many people do exactly that, and their problems follow them...

I moderate a different forum, and have definitely noticed a spike in activity that needs intervention. Members who have never caused trouble are getting their toes stepped on and lashing out. So it wouldn't surprise me in the least to see the same thing happen here. Holidays can be tough for...

I agree with @desiderata310 . Being able to see your face will help him to help you. It took me a couple years before I could maintain eye contact with my T for more than a moment. I don't wear makeup to therapy. I've never cried there, but I don't cry anywhere else, either. I think if I...

I don't think it is at all creepy to keep it. It's something tangible to hold and look back at. No shame in that.

THanks everyone for the feedback. For now, I'm staying on the Lamictal, but going back on the olanzapine as well. I think the plan is to get me tapered up on the lamictal before we take out the olanzapine. I don't like having to take so many medications. My therapist had to put medications...

I saw a hypnotherapist and my regular therapist for several months. The hypnotherapist was able to help me figure out the distortions in my thinking that needed correcting. He wrote to my regular therapist after every session. I never learned to trust him, but I was able to benefit from it...

I definitely notice this. I have a bad leg with poor circulation, nerve damage, and recurring infections that land me in the O.R. for life-saving surgery. For six years I battled them. Since we hit the right combination of psych meds, I have been able to go way down on my pain meds and...

I thought that the Zyprexa was my miracle drug. It did a GREAT job of calming the hypervigilance and anxiety. I wish I could keep taking it.

Since April, I have been on Zyprexa (olanzapine) 20mg at night and then 5mg with breakfast and 5 more at lunch. It has been very effective. Trouble is, it's jacked up my metabolism and despite being very careful with my diet and exercise, I've gained significant weight. My P-doc cut the day...

When I was a child and the victim of ritual and sexual abuse at the hands of a small group of Satanists, they used some chemical that soaked a rag. They'd hold the smelly wet rag over my face until I'd black out, and then have their way with me. It always left me feeling nauseous and dizzy and...

I second the creative gift idea. And maybe cooking dinner for you and your sister would be a special thing you could do. It wouldn't have to be anything elaborate or expensive. The time together would be the special part. I love that you are sounding more hopeful now.

@City Slicker What a good boy your Hank is! I'm so thrilled that the two of you have found each other. You are doing an amazing job being a mom to such a precious soul.

Thanks everyone. A very dear friend of mine has been encouraging me to try to make new, happy memories of this season. It has traditionally been terribly difficult to get through fall and winter. This year, I am taking my friend's advice and creating new memories that will hopefully help...

Saturday, my husband and I went to our friends' house and carved pumpkins. We had fun doing it. Yesterday, he dropped me off at their house on the way in to work, and my friends and I handed out candy and balloon sculptures to all the kids out trick-or-treating. It was so much fun. A happy...

I really relate to this. I have shared things with my T that I am so very ashamed of, and given detailed accounts of the abuse. I can't look him in the eyes a lot of times. And I have sometimes been so ashamed that I have cancelled appointments.

Great job in recognizing a pattern in yourself and then taking steps to change it. That's a huge accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself!

What makes you think I can actually beat this and come out not just alive, but whole and well? What is it like to live without PTSD? (I have exactly one memory before the trauma started when I was 3) Don't you get frustrated by the fact that I've spent 5 of the last 6 years seeing you, and...

Thanks, @EveHarrington

@sun seeker Thank you for cheering. It helps to not feel alone. I had therapy today (Good memory!) and while it didn't help the urges much, it DID help with the shame and guilt I've had piled on top of them. Now, even though the urge is just as strong, there isn't such hopelessness. So it...