Consulting With A Different Therapist

[theshadowoftheliving]

Has any one ever consulted with an adjunctive therapist?

My therapist is going to be away for a month over the holidays. She sent this to me in an email, as it's up in the air if I remember things that aren't written down. We still meet two or three times before then, so it isn't imminent. Yet, my first reaction was pure panic. Absolute panic. I don't want her to go away and I'm afraid of how to trust her if she leaves (I do, intellectually, understand this as a frame of self-care and human needs on her behalf and in no way want to ask her not to take the time, as she has been more than present and never missed a session since I've started to see her).

So, panic. But, there is going to be someone else covering for her that I could see instead - meaning three or four visits worth.

I'm trying to frame this as an opportunity to consult with someone new instead of an abandonment, a chance to get an alternative perspective or a chance to learn something new. But, I'm stumped on how to pull this off. Any advice? Have you ever consulted with a different therapist than your main therapist? How did you frame it, what as it like, etc?

 

[qwyoey]

Perhaps since you have sessions before your therapist is on break, ask your therapist. They would know you best, and maybe you can agree to set a goal for those sessions with the other therapist, or topic etc.

In the meantime, I'd take a deep breath and put this aside until you meet again. I know it's tough not to panic, but panic mode isn't the best time to plan. Save the planning for your therapist.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Panic happened days ago. This planning is actually me coming down from panic and trying to reframe things in a useful manner.

Usually, I would agree to wait and ask the therapist. However, I'm asking here so that I can free time up in my session to not have to deal with logistics. Since I usually only see her once a week (plus maybe one email exchange between) there is always a fight between parts to have a chance to speak, so as they spend most of the time revolving, I have maybe fifteen minutes as "Shadow" to actually talk.

I think your advice makes sense in most instances, but for me, I think getting advice here might make more sense. Plus, I'm hopeful to hear positive stories.

 

[FauxLiz]

I can't give you any advice on how to handle this but Kudos for considering it. My T has made this offer to me a couple of times in the past when he has been gone for vacation or training/conferences, I have always declined. It took me over a year before I could trust him enough to start opening up, I have no desire to go through that process again if I don't have too and I also have no desire to permit my T to even discuss my case with an T to the point that they might be able to even possibly do me any good in a session.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I saw a hypnotherapist and my regular therapist for several months. The hypnotherapist was able to help me figure out the distortions in my thinking that needed correcting. He wrote to my regular therapist after every session. I never learned to trust him, but I was able to benefit from it anyway.

If you don't feel up to facing an entire month on your own, it's totally fine to see the other therapist. They'll likely focus more on the here and now, and not much on the trauma.

 

[Suzetig]

I'd echo what @ShodokanJenn says, maybe not think about doing anything trauma related, just use the temporary T as a holding appointment to deal with any here and now issues while your usual T is away?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Thanks, all.

To date, I haven't processed any trauma at all with my current therapist, so trauma-related conversations are definitely not going to happen with someone new that I would only see temporarily. It would be all "here and now" conversations.

I guess maybe a bigger-picture question is how to use an adjunctive therapist usefully. I'd like to get something out of this beyond survival and it just being a holding pattern.

 

[Crow]

When my T went out of country for four weeks during a particularly crucial time, she gave me the name of a backup and I met with her before T left. She was on my speed dial during T's absence but I never used her. It was a challenging four weeks but I found I had more resources built up than I thought so the absence turned out to be a really good thing for me.

You could may be use the adjunct as a sounding board if you have any issues with your T? Get an outside view of ways to improve communication between you and your main T?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

My therapist is actually really great, and I have a really good relationship with her, which is what makes this hard, I think. Still trying to brainstorm ways to use this effectively and am still interested in what others might know or have experienced on this front.

Some ideas of things to work on:
-how to manage/handle my family more effectively
-how to structure my life and my future to better support my ultimate goals