There Are Many Different Things That I Think About Obsessively

[kman99]

Anytime someone says anything to make me feel the slightest bit judged I have flashbacks that can go back twenty years.

I keep thinking about my teacher from first grade. Twenty years later, I still feel stupid because of the way she treated me despite how I applied myself in school. Everyone tells me to stop thinking about it and put it in the past because I showed her I'm wrong but that doesn't work for me. I think about my mother making me feel like I wasn't good enough. i think about being bullied in middle school. People give me advice about how I'm better than them now, but again that does nothing to help me.

It's hard because in addition to PTSD I also have obsessive compulsive disorder and can't get these thoughts out of my head. Any coping tips?

 

[intothelight]

Obsessive thoughts are pretty common with PTSD. Also, triggers (feeling of being judged) can dredge up all the negative feeling from all of the past occasions. Kind of like a record skipping and you just don't move past the "same old song".

I am just learning to identify what "triggers" it, recognizing where my response is coming from, and then analyzing the response. If it is disproportionate to the event, then I know it is something I need to work on and process.

I don't know if you are in therapy or not, but there is so much to be gained in regard to learning and implementing coping skills. If you aren't, it is really worth checking out.

Debbie

 

[just me here]

I have obsessive thoughts too. I can totally relate to the 20 year anger, thats another aspect I have in common with you. I wish I had a cure, sorry.

One trick I use is to actually say something, even if alone, and hope that verbalising an alternative thought will dislodge the obsessive thoughts. It might be just saying numbers, like I am trying to remember a phone number or a dimension, better yet a math problem done out loud. Easy to excuse, lot's of people vocalize when they are trying to remember a number. Maybe pull out a cell and just say anything you want, into the dead phone. No one needs to know you are just trying to break the pattern.

Luckily for me I have a job that requires problem solving and designing machines, and I have a highly developed sense of spatial relationships. I can get maybe 90% of a machine designed in my head before I ever even open the design software. I try to keep a few projects open at a time so I always have something I can occupy my mind with when I need to change my focus.

Maybe you can plan your weekend, try to remember the time-line of a movie you saw recently, I used to recite the different united states in alphabetical order, then the capitols, then the outer edge states in geographical order, then try to name a different animal for every letter in the alphabet, a different band name for the alphabet, how many bands are named after animals, how many cars are, name a car manufacturer for every letter in the alphabet ( there was a motorcycle manufacturer named Ural, I never could think of another for U)

You get the idea, I hope you can modify this to fit you. For me, I just need to challenge myself with something that will overpower the obsessive thought.

Leo Kotke ( a great guitar player and song writer) says that when he gets a song stuck in his head, he learns to whistle it backwards and the two songs cancel each other out by being 180% out of phase. You might think he is just joking, but if you have ever seen him play you might think he really is capable of doing it.