T Wrote Me A Hand Written Note, Do I Keep It?

[Panda Bear]

I'm going to sound like a broken record for the next 7wks. Sorry!

This ending stuff is hard work and I'm really struggling. It's a good struggle, but a struggle none the less.

Yesterday I saw T and I was just a mess, he was explaining some things to me about how this feels bad or worse because of the loss factor. Lots of emotions at the surface because I've experienced a lot of loss in my life. What feels like the past, really isn't. I have been allowing myself to become bridged between two worlds. Which is a no no! He was trying to calm the little girl that was freaking out in his office.

In an attempt to calm and be proud of me, and he wrote a special note to me. He wanted me to have something physical to take with me that was a part of him. It talked about what I was like when I first came to see him, how proud he was of me, how and what I taught him over the years. Where we've landed and how much better we both are because we've been in each other's lives. Mushy stuff. I keep reading it...but now I don't know what to do with it? Should I keep it? Would that be creepy?

Part of me is still in awe of his jester.

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

It wouldn't be creepy to keep letters or notes. They're mementos; lots of people have mementos of people, even if they're just in the form of little things like birthday or christmas cards or stuff like that. Lots of people hold onto things that are deemed meaningful to them.

The question is, do you feel like keeping it yourself? Do you feel that in the long run, looking at it during times of doubt might help you stay grounded? It could be a helpful tool for you, or it could not be. It's all up to you, really.

I'm sorry that you're going through this friend, hugs if you accept them! I know what you're going through must be very hard, but you are doing your best to cope and you should be proud of yourself for doing the best you can, despite the situation you're going through :) We're all here for you.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

That is so sweet. What an endearing relationship you have. I hate the idea of ending therapy. Why does it have to end? I'm not ready at all.

Can't you see him monthly for a while at least?

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I don't think it is at all creepy to keep it. It's something tangible to hold and look back at. No shame in that.

 

[Panda Bear]

@RecedingMoonlight: This is a good ending, a good break up! This means I'm to the point where I don't need weekly therapy anymore! That after five years of hard, sucking work, I'm okay now!!! Sad, and difficult to say goodbye to what I'm assuming is the most awesome therapist ever! Still..good stuff coming out of this sadness.

I actually do feel like keeping it, being sentimental is new for me and it's a confusing feeling. Not something I'm used to feeling and really understand and that may be one of the reasons why he wrote it out for me(aside from trying to calm me) He really wants me be look back and SEE the changes and celebrate them.

@Orion. I can change the terms of our termination, it was(and his too) my idea and how it was done, the time frame and such, was all up to me. He gave me to control to decide how I wanted to end things. I chose to stay weekly up until Jan 31st and then stop. He will always be around and I can go back at any time I need to, for whatever reason. He doesn't care why I make an appointment. He's left all my scheduling access open(online program) and said to please text, call or email with anything I might need. Or just to let him know how I'm doing.

Trust me, this is GOOD! Just a bit sad at the same time too. I think I'll keep the letter? Maybe for a little while at least. Didn't want to be creepy.....

 

[Friday]

It's not creepy.

Professional relationships are allowed to be close working relationships that grow to have mutual respect & caring, without crossing boundaries. Think of it like getting a commendation at work, or a glowing letter of recommendation from a professor. It's alright for people to be proud of us, to think well of us, and yet not take or expect more from us "for" that. Not friendship, not romance, not sex, not abuse. But honest affection & admiration between mentor & student, boss & employee, adult & child, therapist & client, doctor & patient... Pick any inequal relationship out there, and it can reach the level of caring, without crossing boundaries. Which means it's not creepy. It's real.

 

[Rumors]

I keep lots of notes that touch me for different reason from lots of different people. I would keep it most definitely. It's not creepy at all... I came across a note my grandmother wrote me last week. Made me smile.

 

[barefoot]

It's not creepy at all. I think it's great. If it were me, I would definitely keep it . And I think that, if I was having a wobble of some sort at any point and read it, it would help me to feel grounded/reassured/comforted etc.
Do whatever you feel like doing with it - but know it is not creepy a) that he wrote it and b) if you you want to keep it.

 

[watundah]

After a years long relationship with the man, I would cherish such a personal and intimate gesture. I'd probably frame it and look at it when I need a boost. :-)

 

[Panda Bear]

I think the letter and the moment we shared it in his office, will be something I remember for a long time.

You know, those few key moments where you really get kick some ass and make some major connections in your work? Those times where he just smiles so big and his eyes light up when I'm doing something spectacular? Or those moments where the pain is so deep and he just sits with me, eyes fixed and heavily concentrating on what I'm saying and feeling....or those few times he wipes a tear when the story is just too much...

Or better yet, the times we throw shit back and forth, crack sarcastic jokes at each other and celebrate!

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I would keep it. I would most definitely keep it - it would end up in a safe space that I could look at it over and over.

 

[Justmehere]

I kept a note from a therapist who moved away. I'm glad I did.