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I have noticed on days I do EMDR with my T that I am exhausted and sleep better that night. Also, overall as we process some of my traumas, I am having fewer and fewer nightmares.. its a good thing!

@Muse you summed my mom up pretty well. She is a totally self absorbed Borderline Personality mother. She refuses to acknowledge that she has done anything to hurt me. @ghotiff thank you for helping me see the logical side. It's just so hard when she comes at me like that. Any talk at ALL...

I like the closet analogy.. my T also refers to it as "cleaning out a fish tank." When you start using the vacuum to clean it out, first all the dirt gets stirred up, but it eventually becomes clean. I am always very hard on myself, and it sounds like you might be as well. EVERY session my T...

no, she passed away almost 8 years ago :(

:( Why does everything have to be so confusing when it comes to remembering my childhood? This may be long so please bare with me… Ok so the other week while processing when I was sexually molested by my cousin, some family issues came up. The very cousin that molested me ended up in the...

I am so sorry, I never find them helpful either. *gentle hugs*. Please take care of yourself, however that looks like for you. If you need to go to the ER, please do. I want you here, we may not have ever met, but you mean a lot to me as a friend. Hold lizzie close, find a good book to read...

congrats!!! That is a HUGE accomplishment!

I know I get that feeling right before I have a panic attack, or in very hard therapy sessions. I would bring it up to your doctor if I was you, just to rule out anything physical...

congratulations!! You went after your dreams despite everything! There will be that one right publisher, you have come so far!

@KwanYingirl good for you for not self harming! I know how that is (you know, you've seen my posts!). I was afraid of them being uncontrollable. This is why for now my T said only in places I feel really safe and only with her until we finish EMDR if I can help it. This is so she can monitor my...

@JEKBreatheandBelieve :hug: Just be gentle with yourself. My hardest part is I would be quick to judge the feeling/myself. I hope you can slowly begin to trust your T that he/she is right. Growing up, tears and feelings were "illegal" for me to feel and experience. Not without my mom making them...

Thanks everyone for the support. @Jane.l It has taken a good solid 4 and a half months with this T a lot working on coping skills and 2 years of prior therapy before that. I think what has made it finally possible is that my T is extremely intuitive to what I am feeling. It's like she can tell...

Ok so I am still in a bit of shock about yesterday's session. We talked about the weekend and especially about the trigger-filled Friday. She was very proud of me for making myself go to the movies Monday night with my dog trainer/friend, even though I had some pretty intense anxiety. She said...

I am going to try to respond, I may have to come back later and finish as it has been a really hard day. Your story reminds me a lot of my own. Animals were always my closest companion and what helped me get through the abuse. I always had dogs and when I was in high school I had a horse who I...

@Barberian I have seen you on some of those pages/groups. I do agree! I try not to get into the debates with them, just post my own stuff and answer to stuff not related to the "politics" side of things. Right now I am finding some aspects of it helpful so I will stay for now.

Ok so I am back from the movies and am exhausted. Overall, I think it went good, but I have a major headache now from the anxiety. Bristol did good for her first time and for a TWO HOUR movie! 2 and a half with previews.. anyways. For the first 30 minutes she did great, laid under my chair...

Thanks everyone for the support. As the hours get closer I am trying not to get too nervous. I have done a LOT of training with Bristol today to distract me, but also to wear her out some. It has stormed most of the day, so our walk prior to the movies might not happen. I am considering taking...

Ok so tonight I will be going out to the movies for the first time in a long time. First social event probably since my suicide attempt in March and also first time to movies in over a year! Movies aren't a trigger for me unless it has certain scenes, just don't go out much. This will be my...

Try to look at her as more of a support system. She doesn't have authority over you. My T won't say "your therapist" but she will say things like "You are okay, you are safe, I am with you." meaning it more in that she won't leave me in the state I am feeling. Then again she knows I need a...

Thank you. I really don't know how I did make it back home aside from Bristol as I think I was starting to dissociate. yes, she is a great help to me. @KwanYingirl thank you and I will definitely give her a hug for you. She always takes care of me. I ended up backing out on going to the doggy...

I really just want to lock myself in my room right now, curl up in a ball and love on Bristol for the rest of the day. But I cannot do so. I woke up at 7:30 am to take Bristol outside to potty. I take her to the little grassy field at the back of my apartment complex. While I was waiting on...

VERY well said @anthony . Thankfully my therapist understands this and often times allows for over the hour if she can schedule it, especially when doing EMDR. Like today, she scheduled me for 2 hours but then had a cancellation after that, so we went 2 and a half hours. It was a blessing...

Thank you @Go Hungry for the support. Your first sentence really helped me a lot! So I just got out of a 2 1/2 hour session with my T in which I did tell her about the phone call. I either forgot or she forgot to tell me that she had set aside 2 hours for our EMDR session today. She then had a...

I feel your pain.. This afternoon we are suppose to start my second round of EMDR. It has already been post-poned for two weeks due to needing to talk about some things that have come up and not being ready. Just when I think I am ready, I get a phone call last night about the exact abuser that...

Thank you @Justmehere and @scout86 for the support. Part of me doesn't want to bring it up because I'm ready to start on emdr and I know if I do, we will spend a good bit of the session talking about it and end up not starting today. Then next week she could only get me in on Tuesday, so I know...