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My apologies then, Sorry for the evident excesses noticed across the rant typed just above. I feel I have no place in public libraries - none whatsoever. The role calls for people who are warm, approachable, flexible, in sympathy with patrons based upon common outlook and a shared sense of...

Hello, Thanks for the kind input and support. Yesterday I did in fact write something short consistent with politely withdrawing myself from consideration for the role. Hard though - for even as I'm quite isolated I can 'hear' critics who would ask of me why I'd not done more with regards to...

Thanks everyone - I really needed the input, Indeed, aspects of an abuse cycle for I once worked in a public library setting where most individuals so-employed were drawn from the community and were of evangelical orientation. In a positive sense, a paradise for them, although for myself - not...

Hello, Fatigued - yes, fatigued. I'm in the longstanding habit of affording words of encouragement to an exceedingly tiny base of friends that I wish might find it within themselves to reciprocate in detail when I most need it. People likely register the depth of the depression I feel, are...

Greetings, Exposure and vulnerability for 'PTSD people' will always be that much harder for our personal boundaries may be nonexistent, in tatters, undergoing repair, or being established first-time from scratch. A person on the street might be tempted to minimize what would or could be...

Greetings, Though exceedingly difficult, paced disclosure is best. A hallmark of one bearing trauma legacies plus much rejection suffered is the conviction that further hurt can be avoided if we contractually 'cull the field' of all those poised to hurt us further. In my experience, such an...

Hello, (Please exercise care reading this post for I have no desire to trigger anyone for so-reporting) Though not a clean definition as might be sourced elsewhere, I'd explain suicidal ideation as the very scary experience and not entirely voluntary experience of suicide becoming a clear and...

Greetings, I'm reactive in relation to verbal arguments, personal attacks, road rage incidents, etc. For myself I hold on the best I can in relation to conflicts observed between my siblings and their respective spouses. I do not take sides, and will not expand upon a relation if the currency...

Thanks for your concern, Still a muddle inside, although I'm trying my best to frame matters in a constructive fashion. During the T. session most recently concluded I tried convey that an identity suffused with an awareness of many an issue cultivated over time and processed through the...

Thanks everyone for the kind and much-appreciated feedback afforded to me across this space of this thread. Quite sincerely... M.

Greetings, Yes, I've read the Frankl title Man's Search for Meaning. I was o.k. with it, but it didn't leave so very much of an impression. In a sense I almost feel to be missing the faith gene, although I wish not to denigrate the solace others derive from expressions of a spiritual life and...

Thanks, I'm very sorry to shut people out for the difficulties of my sentences, and the inaccessibility of the language I employ. Please accept this apology even as I'm at pains to reform, for as evident in my words and across kind responses, there will be aspects of self (though subject to...

Thank you each - I treasure the feedback, I'll print all and mull it in total before responding in reasoned detail. I know that I risk exposure for putting so much on the table - but then to push forward and to cover new ground may require such. More to come - I really appreciate the time and...

Hello to the reader, I don't know what to do. Is it cruel and uncompromising of me to mentally process the question of a therapist who would pose the standard "...do you really want to change?" much as I would the nonprofessional "SNAP OUT OF IT!" intervention strategy employed by various...

Greetings and welcome to the forum, Not that I'd desire even one more member to 'join the club', but my father dictated to my mother that if she intended to carry a third and unwanted child to term, that he'd have nothing to do with 'it'. Deeply flakey, a drunk, and the living embodiment of...

Greetings, I don't know - I just can't exist in the space between my sisters any longer. It seems the conditions of relating closely to one or the other require I effectively slag upon one or the other - and I can't do that. I just can't imagine they'd ever be up for some conception of family...

Greetings, Sadly I have no direct advice to afford, but I do have a book title to offer up that at least validates the experience of enduring non-stop abuse for continual exposure to wildly unruly children and adults too! Perhaps the same could help to frame and formally present how...

Hello, Maybe too I should relate that my eldest sister almost certainly has PTSD issues of her own, whereas aspects of her experiences and impaired ability to contain or understand such has driven what appears a permanent wedge between her and my other sister. Hard to capture in a few words...

Greetings, Understood (I think!) - but maybe I'm confused to the extent that everyone in my family was part of the dynamic, and that everyone was impacted by what went on. There just doesn't seem to be any curiousity at all about how were lessons learned, lessons were implanted there. Yes -...

Hello, As an abbreviated 'all-purpose' handout of sorts to family and friends, I've found the materials accessed via the link about as succinct and on-target as anything yet discovered. http://outofthefog.net/Disorders/CPTSD.html I regret to relate that even for the trouble involved and...

Hello, You've appropriately outlined the framework of debate to the extent of recognizing that stigma very much exists in relation to PTSD and the various ways individual performance is and may be impaired for being within the clutches of such a dynamic. Pressing further, you rightly suspect...

Greetings, About a year ago I started gathering up materials intended for family members who would be inclined to read, to invest, to understand in measure how to be supportive (and decidedly nondestructive says I!) if they were so moved. Though my siblings are largely invested in their own...

Greetings, Further congratulations on securing entry to medical school! If it helps, know that I tried if you will to take my experiences of home (most unpleasant) and those of primary and secondary school (wildly unpleasant with much bullying endured) and tried to reframe such into an...

Greetings, I have an ancient note to myself I've saved that reflects my early attempts to make sense of my own C-PTSD via study of this academic source and that. It seems a bit crude now, but one thing that nevertheless remains legible are words to the effect that one almighty explusionary...

Same here too, Structure is difficult for me, whereas sometimes intent focus is 'on call' and may be directed to select tasks. At such moments, I can be deliberate, patient, and capable of much that is good. I think it a mistake to simply label these periods as workaday manic in tone, whereas...