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For me, the physical things, from hugging to sex, came down to the fear that someone else may be able to control me. I also cannot stand people in my physical space, or people that I don't know well hugging me or assuming a closeness that doesn't exist. It's all over the top self protection, but...

I find myself falling in to the victim mode more than I would like. A couple of jobs I've had, the bosses were manipulative and sometime deliberately cruel. I would go home at night and immediately blame myself rather than them. I think, for me, it comes from the guilt of making it thru...

Crafty, my brain feels like a sort of fog over that time, even after all these years. It's so frustrating! The other thing that I find really hard are family members who minimized what I was going through so that it would make THEM feel better when I started acting "normal". I think I would have...

I've been pretty out of it the last couple of days ("slept" 12 hours last night), physically feeling rotten. It started raining today, and for some reason it's making me feel more peaceful. I've never minded the rain (luckily, since I live where it rains 9 months a year), but since my family was...

Burke, I'm so sorry you're feeling sad today. I hope it doesn't last very long & that you'll be feeling hopeful and positive soon. Sometimes you know what knocks you on your butt & sometimes you don't. Just be sure you smack it back harder than it smacks you! Janine

For me, in day to day life, for the most part I feel like I'm doing pretty well. Then I hear voices shouting angrily or a loud noise and I beome hypervigilant, shaky & I can't concentrate. It's hard to cover up when you're at work & start shaking like you've got 103 degree fever, but luckily I...

Bloom, You HAVE to be so proud of yourself! I am one of those kinds of people who associate smells, places,sounds with good or bad memories. I avoid a lot of places because of that. You were so brave to overcome your fears and especially go out and do it on your own. You deserve a pat on the...

Hi, everyone. Just thought I'd share that I'm on my 6th night of about 2 hrs of sleep or less a night. Haven't quite fiqured out what's bothering me yet, but hopefully before the weekend is out, I'll get a handle on it & maybe get a chance to sleep my more normal 5-6 hours a night. The good news...

Burke, I'm so sorry your day started off badly. I've dealt with that "I'm not going to be around that long anyway" feeling myself. Well, I'm going to tell you (all) something I've never really admitted to anyone. Sometimes, when I can't really suppress it, I feel like I wasn't supposed to have...

For me, for a really long time, refuge came for me in an endless glass of wine. I was a functioning alcoholic for quite a few years, hit bottom a couple of years ago & have been sober since, but it was easier for a long time to pass out at night than to deal with the rage, hopelessness, insomnia...

Hi, Smooch Checking in to see how you're feeling. I hope less tired & a little more hopeful. Take care & I hope to hear from you. Janine

Hi, Burke I lost my parents (& grandparents) in a similar situation (a neighbor killed them, then himself). I am really glad that you've seen a therapist. Anything you do that makes you feel better is the right thing for you, just don't shut yourself off. I have for many, many years and it's...

Hi Smooch, Unfortunately, even people who have been through rough times cannot understand what people like you & I have to deal with when severely traumatized. I was a witness to my parents' murder (& luckily escaped myself) at the age of 15. I pretty much have no memories of life again until...

Hi, Blondie I'm from Calif, but can identify with your frustrations. Good luck with your treatments. Hopefully the road will be less uphill from now on. Janine

Hi Brenda, I'm new here as well. So far everyone seems really supportive. I hope we both can get some of the support here we (I) don't seem to be able to get in my day to day world. Good luck with your continuing recovery and never be scared to ask for help! Janine

Thanks so much to all of you for taking the time to write a note. I was feeling pretty down last night, and finally gave in to the thought I'd had many times about checking out support on line. Unfortunately, I work for the medical community in a small town, so going to therapy can be tricky...

Hi, My name is Janine. I'm 47 and endured a really awful incident of violent crime when I was 15. Things have happened the last couple of years that I regret what I did, but I also felt the support of "friends" dry up, along with them telling me "you need to just get over it" & they do know most...