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Search results

  1. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    We talked about how i have done this before, many times, and we always get through it and that I have to start giving myself credit for what I know I CAN do. I didn't tell her I was feeling like self injuring, the conversation just didn't go there. We talked about some problem solving...
  2. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    My autistic son just had a horrible meltdown. Hasn't had one like that in a while. I can't help but think what will happen when hubs isnt home. I'm scared. I dug my fingernails into my skin again. Thats as far as ive ever gone with self injury. It all scares me.
  3. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    If I ended up in the hospital my husband would have to come home early. My inlaws would keep the kids til he got home, but that is all. I have 0 friends I can socialize with. It's just me. We moved 2 years ago and I have never make any friends here. I'm trying to think of some fun stuff to...
  4. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    I wish!...my inlaws are a half hour away but not inclined to stay and help. They will help.out a little and are keeping my daughter while i take my son to t on wednesday. But that is all. They both work.
  5. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    last time she took a week off, I became suicidal, but I was having a really hard time even before she left. And last time my husband was home to lean on. This is the first time they will be gone at the same time and I'm really scared at how I've already begun to feel. I don;t know what will...
  6. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    I dont know why t is taking the week off. I just assume vacation. My husband is traveling for business. I am starting to feel like hurting myself. Not suicide, self injury. I only do it when i feel abandoned. They arent even leaving for another week and im already feeling this bad. I have...
  7. loui50

    Feeling abandonment coming - husband & therapist out of town for 2 weeks.

    My t and my husband will be out of town at the same time in 2 weeks. The anticipatory anxiety im experiencing right now is horrible. Every time my husband or my t are gone i feel this way, but both at once feels unbearable. I dont know what to do. I have 2 kids to take care of alone for the...
  8. loui50

    Slowing down in therapy

    I think I need to tell T we need to slow down. I'm so depressed. T said I would feel bad after our sessions talking about my childhood but I expected to bounce back after the day and go on with life between session. Instead I'm having flashbacks and intrusive thoughts and I'm severely...
  9. loui50

    Telling t the good stuff

    I felt bad today because honestly its been a good week but ive been so anxious about one thing in particular that i jumped right in with that. Ever since we started dealing with my childhood abuse (3 sessions now) i stopped talking about the good stuff because i felt like thats not what she is...
  10. loui50

    Telling t the good stuff

    Do you spend time during your session talking about what's going right in life? Or do you go right into working on your issues in your t session?
  11. loui50

    Parenting with ptsd

    This might sound silly, but i used to use a grounding technique with the 5 senses. My t said to always do taste last and always use peppermints because they help with focus. I did it for a while and now all i have to do is eat a peppermint and it calms me down. It is starting to lose...
  12. loui50

    Parenting with ptsd

    Thanks @ladee i am doing the best i know how, but i feel it isnt enough. Thank you for your support. I think i'll take my son to the jump place with his friend. It will be fun for him. This is the first friend he has ever talked about. She has autism too so her mom gets it. Hopefully i...
  13. loui50

    Parenting with ptsd

    I have a online support group but just found an in person one last week. I went for the first time and almost cried. I will definitely go back. My son with Autism got invited to play at a bounce house place after early release on Monday. My gut reaction was NO. but my husband says I should...
  14. loui50

    Parenting with ptsd

    Thanks TexCat. I think I might start with a public place like the park instead of my home. Then we can leave if it is too much??
  15. loui50

    Parenting with ptsd

    @ladee I do take meds. I take SSRI, Antipsychotic that is supposed boost the SSRI, and Valium. I take it as prescribed every day. I also see a T that is amazing. She told me I need to get out more and make friends and start taking my son in public alone. We've talked at great length about...
  16. loui50

    Parenting with ptsd

    Do you ever feel that your PTSD makes you a bad parent? I feel like my anxiety holds my kids back. We have no friends. We go out as a family and do things like the zoo, chuck e cheese and such almost every weekend. But never with other kids. My 6 year old has autism and I'm scared to take...
  17. loui50

    Childhood Having a hard time coming to terms with realization of abuse

    Thank you for your reply. I have flashbacks and some questionable at best memories of the past. It's so frustrating. I had a flashback yesterday that was just me as a little kid, maybe 4, standing in the apt where I think the abuse occurred. I've never understood what people mean by body...
  18. loui50

    Childhood Having a hard time coming to terms with realization of abuse

    I have some memories, but nothing concrete. I've had a couple flashbacks that I don't know are real or not. I have a memory from 4 years old of someone coming into my room. I was very scared and thought to myself, if he thinks I'm asleep maybe he'll go to her (my sister and I shared a room)...
  19. loui50

    Childhood Having a hard time coming to terms with realization of abuse

    Thank you for your response. Yes, a lot of people suffering. I feel like if I had some concrete evidence I could deal with it better, but I'm working on it.
  20. loui50

    Childhood Having a hard time coming to terms with realization of abuse

    Thank you all for the responses. I hav Thank you for your response. It always helps to know you aren't alone. I seem to get more angry in the afternoon when my own kids are home. They are the same age I was when I'm pretty sure the abuse happened. I get angry at them for nothing. But I'm...
  21. loui50

    Childhood Having a hard time coming to terms with realization of abuse

    I've suspected I was molested since the age of 16. I'm now 39, so for a long time. I've been talking a lot to T about it recently and she's brought up a lot of things I never thought about and I'm coming to the conclusion I really was molested as a very young child. I have no concrete...
  22. loui50

    Can't get intimate with husband .. help!

    are you a CSA survivor? What kind of treatment? I've had intamacy issues with my husband for years. I'm just figuring out the why of it all, so know that you aren't alone. I go physically numb and think about anything except what is happening.
  23. loui50

    Childhood Questions about csa

    Thank you @Congruency for your reply. It is all coming together and kind of scary. But for the first time, things are making sense. I think My step dad preferred very young children. My little niece reported at 4 years old that he abused her. She was very scared but told me. I think he...
  24. loui50

    Childhood Questions about csa

    I've thought since i was 16 that I may have been sexually abused by my step dad at the ages of 3-4 to around 6, but I did not have any concrete memories. I spoke about this in great detail with my T over several sessions and I'm coming to the conclusion that it probably did happen. However...
  25. loui50

    Just need support, depressed

    Thank you everyone. I heard from my sister. She initially went to the hospital because she had had a migraine for 3 days. Apparently it made her vomit so much she became severely dehydrated and that affected her heart. If all continues to go well she will get to go home tomorrow. One less...
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