Telling t the good stuff

[loui50]

Do you spend time during your session talking about what's going right in life? Or do you go right into working on your issues in your t session?

 

[Friday]

Yes. As in I do both.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Have always done both. Life is a constant mix of good and bad. Why focus on just the bad??

 

[One step at a time]

(1) At first, there was not much good stuff on my radar, so trying to sound positive in the beginning was more a delay tactic than anything else.
(2) Now, I'm better at bringing up whatever is most pressing for me. Sometimes it is painful, and sometimes it is a piece of good news. It gives her a better picture of what is going on for me, and it is good for our rapport - things are often kinda heavy, so it's nice to be able to celebrate.
(3) There are bigger positive shifts that happen veeeery slowly for me. As I notice the difference, I bring it up with her, especially if I don't quite understand it. There is value in processing why things feel different from before/why these changes are happening.

 

[Justmehere]

I do both as well.

 

[Chitoshi]

I do both, but like @One step at a time, I used it to delay for a bit. I am better at saying what is pressing on me more than I used to be.

 

[loui50]

I felt bad today because honestly its been a good week but ive been so anxious about one thing in particular that i jumped right in with that. Ever since we started dealing with my childhood abuse (3 sessions now) i stopped talking about the good stuff because i felt like thats not what she is there for. But id think she would want to hear the good stuff. Just curious what others did.

 

[EveHarrington]

No.

My time is limited.

I don't need pats on the back.

I need to fix what's wrong.

 

[FauxLiz]

I tell t the good stuff when it applies to what we have been working on in sessions. Occasionally I will talk about other good things usually as they relate to my children but not always. I have never really thought about it until this thread but as @EveHarrington stated I am not there for the pat on the back and my time there is limited. I have enough challenges in my life dealing with ptsd and other things I worry that insurance will eventually pull the plug and I will be on my own without any therapy.

 

[Scarlet13]

Do you spend time during your session talking about what's going right in life? Or do you go right into...

I have thought about doing this with the past. Like the good moments from my past, because there was beauty there. Sometimes it feels so much that trauma work can be about shedding light on the ugly, which is necc, but I am in need of a balance.

 

[barefoot]

I do both. I think it is sometimes important to name and acknowledge - and have someone else acknowledge, because I have a tendency to not notice/minimise/dismiss them - achievements, successes, progress etc. Especially, with my therapist, when they are things that we both know I would not have been able to accomplish a few months ago or a year ago or whatever, so we can both share this progress. And sometimes I find that, after a run of heavy sessions, a light session or two is needed to recalibrate before diving back in to the gloop.

That said, I try not to spend ages on the good stuff because 1) I only have an hour a fortnight and my therapist is expensive, so I feel annoyed with myself afterwards if I feel that I "wasted" too much time on stuff that is ok/good and 2) I am not very good at receiving compliments and "being championed"...so too much of it would feel too intense and uncomfortable.

 

[MyWillow]

Whilst I only see my therapist fortnightly sharing the good stuff has been really important. And if Bessel Van der Kolk recommends it im in lol

Sometimes my therapist will use it to ground me when I dissociate or I’m recovering from a flashback. But too much can also cause me to dissociate...my dogs are generally a safe topic. I’m a behaviourist so she sometimes sneaks in a question about learning theory - relates it to my dog training but it’s clearly about me.