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Sorry I haven't been here for a while, I've been doing ok and didn't want to trigger myself. So, after months of being pretty calm and finally getting sleep after recent med change, I woke up this morning with a full on panic attack. :'( My heart was racing and horrid palpitations, my body...

Thanks so much for replying guys :) Shoulderblades - I used to worry a lot that people wouldn't believe me. But that seems to have subsided a lot - I've been with my therapist for a year and a half ish and trust her. Well most of the time! I spoke about it with her on Thursday. She got me to...

I'm working hard in therapy at the moment, but I've now reached a stumbling block. :( I am trying to be more open about past childhood sexual abuse, but it's leaving me incredibly fearful and paranoid. Part of me knows it's irrational and I'm safe now and no one will hurt me. But, another...

*Hugs* I had major issues around food when my PTSD was at its worst last summer. I couldn't even keep down water at one point & lost over 3 stone in a very short space of time (GP now weighs me every time he sees me = Grrrrrrr! ) I tried milk, which was better, as well as fruit juices, which...

I know exactly what you mean.... Nasty nasty experience. Glad I'm not alone tho in putting up with this *hugs*

Interesting Topic! It made me realise a few things about myself! I hate anything approaching me or touching me from behind. All linked to trauma stuff. I was thinking about the shower idea - I always face the shower except when rinsing hair = as quick as possible! I'd much rather have a bath....

*hugs* to all fellow self harmers. I'm 29 & self harmed a lot between 19 and 21 (I totally destroyed my body - not got much skin I haven't scared!), then I relapsed last year, then again this past week. I'm a cutter, but also bruise myself intentionally. Scariest thing is most recent...

I'm 29, but really only 7 1/4 as am a leal year baby botn on 29th February. As some have said, I flip between being 5 and much much older than I am I don't have DID, but different fragments of personality are different ages that are more at the forefront at different times. .

Hello and welcome ;) I hope you find this forum helpful. I was amazed when I first joined by how much I could relate to others - it made me feel a lot less alone and understood. X

Thanks Maddog :) Definitely mixed feelings. It was good to have things out in the open though - I've been seeing her for over a year and trust her a lot. We were both aware I have been very passive in recent sessions but hadn't addressed it. Feel like I worked hard though - shown by how...

Tell me about it... :( My 3rd time on it and piling the weight on :'( Grrr!

*big huggles * xxx

Just finished therapy and feel exhausted and disconnected. Talked about having reached stagnation and is it worth continuing? After much thought we've decided although I'm functioning ok, there's still work to be done. = hard work! I then dissociated with her = sod's law! :( Also talked...

Thanks :) It definitely made a difference to me. I have had my fair share of judgemental professionals over the last 10yrs! Xxx

Ahh thanks Luke Sad though you feel the need to leave :( Your support is verymuch aappreciated. I haven't seen the post, but I'm sure you meant well. May be just lurk for a while? Xxx

Thanks error :) What you describe sounds very familiar *sigh* . Therapist is back from holiday tomorrow and seeing her Thursday - I'd love to retry EMDR... I've put so much faith in it, I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself... xxx

Just spent an hour and a half in minor injuries - I've badly sprained one of the ligaments in my knee - it hurts lots!! :( I did it @ 10.30 this morning and tried to ignore it as I was with the kids. I wouldn't let anyone look at it and pretended it was ok as can't risk colleagues seeing the...

Maddog Thankyou ;) I know he must be anxious - he has negative views of psychsservices after his mother was sectioned a couple of yrs ago, so it makes sense. I'm giving him space & not putting any pressure on him - it's totally his decision! ;) Thanks rainy daze. He said he doesn't need to...

*Hugs* Some great advice here. Your post made me look at things in my life differently. I was that troubled 19yrs ago & put my family through the same. It's hard to see it from others perspective but part of my recovery is by accepting responsibility for my actions in the past. X

Thanks maddog :) I'm not feeling very stable at all at the moment. Made appointment to see dr but he isn't back off holiday for another week :( Boo! Xxx

*hugs * Grace. Just hang on in there, it does get easier! MDD = major depressive disorder xx

Thank for the advice ;) I like the idea of setting parameters & I agree it's a big ask for him. It's meant to be an opportunity to support me & understand my quirks better, but that's not how he's viewing it... Xxx

Thanks Luke ;) I think he's worried it'll turn into being about him. He said he thought he understood me & doesn't need to know why I'm like this. He then turned it into a joke saying he wanted to go to call her a quack. I think he's worried as he thinks she'll find fault in him which isn't...

Thanks for your input guys :) She is new to EMDR (actually did training for me!) But I trust her - I've seen her for a year and she's amazing. You're right about being stable. I don't feel very stable at all at the mo... :( May ask about hand tapping as I think it'll be easier for me . Xxx

So I finally plucked up the courage today after half a bottle of wine to ask partner to come with me to a session. It took a lot for me to ask & he was so dismissive and critical.. sigh...