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I see mine as a guide but also sort of a care taker. Mostly guidance but in terms of care, I do need to her to help me realise when I am getting unwell because I don't always see it myself. From there I usually do as she suggests to take care of myself. I also see her as an ally.

I am so sorry you are going through so much pain. He was an adult, you were a minor and that creates an uneven power dynamic. He abused that and you. It is in no way what so ever your fault. The self blame is horrible to have to cope with, so I truely feel for you. I was in a simalar situation...

@EveHarrington I will be seeing my dr soon (need to save up for the fee) as my therapist has advised me to go on meds. You're right..if they help, they will be worth it. I'm sorry you have such a hard time they need to be a permanant fixture. I am glad there are ones that do work fr you...

I was afraid of that. Thanks though for helping me clarify. I want to be sure before I speak to my therapist. I wish it could be explained away through energy issues or something.

Hiya. That sounds simalar, but for me, it was rather two me's. It might be two different realties as you describe but since the depressed reality was only a minute before, it wasn't really "then" and "now" for me. It was more I sort of detached from myself. Like two souls, or me's in my head...

I was lying down today, reading, feeling very low and tired as I have been the last few weeks. I was thinking about how to get the courage to tell T the details of my trauma and about our discussion about my fears of formal diagnosis (Past T and Gp say GP. My current T thinks a more formal one...

@EveHarrington You are so right. I think I am going to have to give in and accept them. I am going to talk to my therapist about it on tuesday. I have been using my coping skills till I'm blue in the safe to no relief.

@EveHarrington I'm not. My therapist suggested it but my Dr didn't put me on it because she was worried I was going on it to "do as I'm told" rather than genuinely being comfortable being on it.

Thanks @Supervixn your words have been soothing tonight x The truth matters a great deal to me.I am lucky too to have a therapist who always believes me

Wednesday I think. I want my therapist to help me with a letter to explain the situation. I'm not able on my own because I get too terrified of not being believed so I downplay. I'm sorry you had such an awful experience with the hotline, they can have such awful people at times. I am never...

I think I need to go to my doctor

I have a journal and I love it. I use an array of coping methods. I know the patterns. I keep the behaviours in check so they don't bother or worry anyone. It's a good idea, thank you. I use it everyday. It helps usually but in the last couple weeks ever since a crisis line told me my trauma was...

Yes. The aren't really helping much at the moment.I am using all of them throughout the day. Sometimes I get a little relief but it ends up flooding again. I'm just deep in crisis. I'm sorry.

I feel like there is too much to try and heal.Too much has happened, both trauma and plain old horrible experiences that have affected me. I can't even get myself into college (university) at the moment. I have made changes in therapy in my thinking and my life..but I just can't seem to heal...

Your own doctor is a disgusting excuse for a human being. I am so glad you didnt let this defer you from going to your hubbies dr and that you are getting the medical help you need. Hugs to you. I am so sorry you had even to be in the same room as your own

I have. I have had helplines accuse me of lyying about being suicidal, goading to me "admit it" (that im lying). Telling me they think I am lying about my feet issues (ingrown toenail that left go for years), and not believing me about my trauma. Alls sorts like that. It contributed to not...

Nope, in fact i text her boss if I need help with appointment organisation ( rescheduling and that). I had a therapist who did allow texting once, but that was only or changing appointments and stuff like that and this one time when she was driving home in the snow (3hour drive) and knew I was...

I like that she is the same age as me....she knows what its like to be a young woman my age because she is one and worries about some of the same things I do so she is really relatable and I don't feel afraid of her like I have with Ts twice my age.

Lol this is more something I did than said...I had brought in this little bunny knitted puppet I made because I like to show her what I have created sometimes. It's a glove puppet so I had it on my hand while talking to her. Now I am rather shy so don't always show a lot of emotion but when I...

Good idea to show her the post, I'll try that. I think I can get this up on my phone. its very likely my fears came from a past experience so that makes sense I agree with you @futurefocussed its certainly not manipulative. We do need the attention,. I can relate to feeling like its your job...

Yeah good point everyone lol, maybe I am not giving her enough credit and I am panicking over something that I really don't need to be worrying about. I am judging them by assuming they will judge me right? I totally agree that anyone who does self harm "for attention" is going through some...

It's just me I think...I can't let go of it. I feel pure terror around it. My T is nothing but kind to me so I guess yeah I should just tell her how scared I am all the time.

We often hear of mental health professionals who believe that self harm "threats" and other self damaging acts are acts of manipulation of some kind...emotional or otherwise. I am terrified that my T thinks my self harming and tendency to mess with pills when distressed is manipulation. I...

Hi there! It's totally understandable that this triggered you really. While your boyfriends intent was not the same as your exes, it still triggered strong and painful memories and feelings for you. We all need to feel like me matter to those we love and care about and when they're behaviour...

I'm so sorry @0101 , that sounds so isolating. I hope you have been able to talk to someone about it. You deserve to be helped with it too. Do you have a Therapist? xx @NonnegotiablePeace It would be a definite yes to "if this was done to someone else, would I consider it abuse?". I told my T...