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I can relate to this. My partner and I will have a brief, verbally explosive argument and then she shuts down. A few hours later she acts as though nothing had happened, while I'd like to "process" what happened and feel like it has not been swept under the rug. To her credit, she never throws...

One way they would help is to help you process these feelings of being to blame for the abuse you suffered. Many victims blame themselves- it's part of a distorted way of thinking that can be unlearned. As for your coworker- you have every right to set boundaries and inform others when they...

I lost my mom in 2009 after about a year of flinching every time the phone rang. It is soooo nerve-wracking! My dad died in 2012 after a long illness. I have his picture on my computer desk and just yesterday I looked at it and longed to talk to him. And my sister died in 2014 after years as an...

Welcome to the forum! There are many people here who can relate to your situation and offer insights that I cannot. But I want you to know you have been heard as soon as possible. Not to discourage you from posting, but do you have a therapist you can see or would you consider finding one? I've...

ladee- BTW amazon.com has used books listed as well as new. Body Keeps the Score as low as $8, Tapping Solution $2.84, Childhood Disrupted $5.90, and Getting Past Your Past $6.47. Maybe that would be a more budget friendly alternative if your library doesn't have them. I don't know if this...

I had another (or should I say the same?) nightmare last night and awoke in a panic like I have the past 3 nights/mornings, but I was able to go back to sleep and slept until 5 minutes before the alarm went off. Not ideal, but I'll take any progress I can.

VioletButterfly: I can be obsessive with making lists also. My to do list always has to be a multiple of five, and if it isn't I always feel the need to add more. Even if it is 11 and I have to add 4 more- I can't drop back to 10! Would you mind posting or messaging me info you find on memory...

Lisse- Count me among the disassociated struggling with basic things. Heck, I just had to copy and paste the word "disassociated" from your original post because I could not come up with the spelling on my own. I was an English teacher for 29 years and had a Master's Equivalency, and now I...

ladee wrote: "If any of you have any recommended reading, please share." I received this book recently as a gift: Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy by Francine Shapiro. I've also read: Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes...

As a cat lover I love the avatar also.

One of my favorite Bob Dylan lines reminds me of my feelings regarding this thread: "Stripped of all virtue/as you crawl through the dirt you/can give but you cannot receive." People try to give to me, especially in this online community and another I participate in, and I'm learning to accept...

AslinSparx- I've read, and I believe, that sometimes talk therapy alone is not enough. Things get stuck in our bodies beyond what words have the power to heal. I am currently working with a therapist trained in EFT Tapping. She has me tap through a series of meridian points on my face and...

I feel like I'm not worth helping much of the time. Actually, I would say my inner critic feels that. Thankfully, I've recovered just enough to let the inner critic rage on while I continue to get help. I found myself apologizing to my therapist last week for bringing so many of my problems to...

It happened again this morning- "awake" from 8 until 11, dreaming while I could hear real sounds in the bedroom. Not sure how much was awake, how much was asleep. Maybe I was dreaming that I was awake and having a dream? Hmmm.... At least it wasn't the same damn nightmare.

That is great to hear, Adm13!

I hope it works for you:)

I too worry about embracing the "negative" and sometimes talk myself into trying to "fake it until you make it." I usually wind up feeling worse. It's hard to strike a balance when all-or-nothing thinking is so characteristic of my condition. One of the things I love about this community is...

I'm happy for you- he's lucky to have you on his side!!!!

turtlemoon- I so relate to your post. I tend to have emotional flashbacks during my dreams. And I drift between sleep and waking (sometimes for hours)- sometimes I swear I haven't slept but my wife assures me I was snoring!!!! Other times I feel awake but I know I am dreaming- very odd...

I relate to this as well. In addition, I have so low self-esteem that it doesn't feel like my body is worth taking care of. Why wash my face when it is so ugly anyway? This is indeed a distortion- one I recognize with my mind but cannot change in my heart. I wish I had advice for you...

I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't feel like a failure, because I know when people tell me that it feels like they are invalidating my feelings. Besides, I know what I "should" think and feel and "should" do and not do- If I could I would!!!!! I will say that in my eyes you are not a...

I suppose you are right, but having the scabs ripped off of my memories and feeling the feelings again- but I guess that's necessary for healing.

I've taken Prazosin intermittently. It works the first two days or so and then doesn't. It is a nice reprieve every few months, though. And when I was in a day hospital program many people said it worked wonders for them.

I gave up on the novel I was writing because the "lost word" experience was so pervasive and frustrating. Maybe I'll damn the torpedoes and get back to it. I can leave a blank or F-bomb where I get stuck and then move on.

I just spent five minutes fumbling and stumbling and agonizing until I came up with the word "vicarious" for something else I was writing. It's sooooo frustrating. I had a second-year college vocabulary when I was in 7th grade and now, at times, it seems a 7th grade vocabulary at age 53 :(