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I am feeling tired and a bit fed up with everything. I am in a hotel for the next few days. I have minor surgery on my left wrist on Thursday so I am staying here next to the hospital. I am a couple hundred yards from the hospital and they tell me I have to hire a medical transportation company...

You hit it perfectly. All I want is a quiet simple life. Instead I have to deal with constant BS. Just when I make some progress something erupts and sets me backwards. I don’t want to keep up with the Kardasians. I really don’t want any part of this shut up and buy world. The assertion of...

For me ideation has come back some in the past week. I just get tired of living. I have a firm belief that the modern world is incompatible with human nature and most people don’t realize it. They just live their lives of drudgery without ever really questioning it. Me, I always feel like an...

Hi Fran and welcome. I am a sufferer and let me tell you how confusing it is. My divorce is not final yet after a 28 year marriage. I have been seeing a woman since May and she has a trauma history too. Currently she is on holiday in Mexico so I am getting some time alone to think about...

I have no problem with the Iranian people, But their government is so full of hate. Unfortunately the government will not care about the pain they cause their people. That said, I am not thrilled with my government either.

Personally I think anger is optional. Maybe it is avoidance but I try to not think about the big political picture it is just too much. It is not good for my wellbeing. I think it is a distraction from what I need to be doing, personal healing. Getting too politically engage sure looks like...

I did an hour and a half hike yesterday and an easy one hour bike ride today.

I guess this war, if that is what it is, doesn’t bother me so much is I believe Iran earned it. I have no sympathy for the government of Iran. I just hope we don’t end up with something worse.

I don’t like violence in any form. Even watching a movie I find myself grabbing the chair when there is violence. To me wars are the ultimate admission of failure of the political class. But for some reason this one isn’t bothering me.

I walked today for a little over an hour. I have had to cut back on exercise due to my bloop pressure shooting up while exercising. Tomorrow I will get on the bicycle and see how I do keeping my heart rate low.

I am very tired. I just got back after 21 hours of flying with a five hour lay over in London. My crib isn’t capable of thinking right now which is probably a good thing.

Try to get outside and walk, preferably in nature. At home focus on your breath, take full breaths and pay attention to the sensation of being present in your body. Don’t hyperventilate, just focused full breathing. I know from personal experience how hellish it can be. Take care and be good...

It reminded me of the Trailer Park Boys.

Eggs over medium, outfitted, mushrooms and toast. This was after 3 hours out in a safari truck, I worked up an appetite.

That sounds really tough. I get good results with Lunesta and THC.

I have been dating a gal who also has a trauma history. She gets very politically agitated. She obsesses on politics and gets very angry about it. Sometimes I wonder if pointing at something outside herself is a way of avoiding the inner turmoil. Personally I try to not get too reaped up in...

I had some crackers and cheese after a few hours out in the safari truck. I am in South Africa right now and I am struggling with food. I have always been a picky eater but I am really struggling with the food here. I think it is an autism thing. So I am keeping it simple. Just the smell of...

Earlier this evening.

Here are a couple photos of an elephant I saw today

I saw a couple of hyenas and some giraffes as well as many planes game, rinos, hippos and so forth.

Rainy day blues.

Loafing in South Africa again. I have been trying to calm down my CNS and this is a good place for me to chill and get some quiet time.

I have had a bunch of health stuff over the past few months and I really need rest. So, I got a chance to go stay in my friend’s lodge in South Africa for a couple weeks. I am on the very long flight there now.

Exile on Main Street, the whole album.

Congratulations, how did you do it?