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@Swift Thanks for the great detailed explanation. I'll definitely be giving it a go. I see this is similar to the "soothing rock" a carry when i know I'm going to have to be in a stressful situation. Mints a little easier on the hands!

Swift, tell me more about the "mint thing"

Was just talking about this with my psychologist today. I was concerned about the increased amount of sleeping i was having. She was of the opinion that it was part of the healing process. Our systems running on overdrive for years need time to healing and for some of us finally sleeping is part...

Glad to hear your choice was the right one @Freida . 23 years was a big investment. Not really sure how I'm going to navigate through this. I still have several years before retirement. Will have to remember to have lots of naps and snacks.

@EveHarrington you make a great case for not returning. This is my 26th year in Fire/EMS. At this point I'm too young to retire and too old to start over. I'm sure some of you all have had to make a similar choice, stay and risk things getting ugly again or walk away and start something else...

Like @Peaceful Warrior , acceptance of these changes is extremely difficult. Nicely explained @Hopeforlife on self care! Not being able to operate on overdrive any more is disheartening and depressing. The seemingly simple self care things feel arduous tasks.

Crying. I seem to have forgotten how. Would it be indicative of the level/depth of symptoms one has? What do you guys think?

Naming the inner critic ( my son named mine, he calls it the"Black Cat") does seem to help recognize when it starts in on you. Usually it will be just grumbling in the background and if I'm not mindful of it, the screaming begins. Such a pain. Especially when, like me, you struggle to quiet it...

@FauxLiz I'm with @MyWillow with thoughts of support. Didn't think of the SI feelings as part of the Flight response, on those days I'm just wanting the pain to end. @FauxLiz your thoughts offer another another insight into our shared conditions. Thanks for sharing!

Yes, quite similar. What is your take on the spirit behind the nightmares?

I was just now having a very disturbing episode and fortunately the bell went off (I'm at the fire station) for us to handle a call, stopping the nightmare. Now I'll be unable to sleep for awhile. When this happens, usually the nightmares return, even though I was up doing something else for...

@Chelcea this forum is a great place to start. Many here have similar experiences. The next day is one of exhaustion for me only will power and coffee get me through. We are with you.

Thank you both @Friday and @zebbidee i will certainly give that a go. Nice how help comes when you need it. My psychologist wants me to work on just that (grounding) this week. Thanks again!!

Not familiar with 5 senses exercise. What does it consist of?

Good fellow veterans and first responders. Not sure if you all are aware of the Warrior's Ascent program. They offer a free five day program for folks like us. I was in cohort 020 in November. Really helped with understanding and with tools for self regulation. I filled out the web form one very...

@scubarr What a great book (the body keeps the score)so much of it really hits home. The understanding of why my behavior was so messed up (no excuse for it) helps tremendously with the regulation process. Also, naps and snacks help ease the day!

@Tim_Holgate the "sharing" part of the experience is bothersome. Most people try to understand, they just don't get it. Glad to hear you have some mates to talk to

Oy Vey! That is rough. CPAP can be a real stressor on the body. Good to hear you seem to get a few weeks in between the rough nights.

I'm still at work. It seems when the bell goes off and we catch a call is when I feel "normal". The quiet times, especially at home are the worst. Still learning how to calm down the puppy brain. That's actually my "homework" assignment from the psychologist . Working on grounding and calming.

Cycle, does it seem like the dreams intensify when you hit a rough patch? Mine do and the mish -mash of events really gets out of hand. There is no sleeping on those nights, even with the meds.

My experience comes back to visit also. I had to free dive for a kid that was thrown from a jet ski. Due to the circumstances, I tried to find him for an hour until the dive team arrived. What has helped you?