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I feel like this is both good and bad. I've gotten so much better, in that I can control my reactions to a triggering event surrounding rape/abuse/sexual assault. I don't fly off the handle anymore like I used to if conversation sways that way. I try to keep my opinions to myself to keep from...

Thank you @Survivor3 it makes me feel a bit better I'm not alone, although sad someone else is going through it! I wish I could pinpoint what was happening. Maybe I need to rest more!

Lately I've been increasingly "fuzzy". I've had increased anxiety and depression lately but today I just feel like I'm floating inside of myself and I'm not real. I've had a few stressors and panic attacks and I just feel like I'm in a weird cocoon. It just feels terrible. Like dissociation but...

I think that's part of it, I'm trying to be better about it and instead say "do I like this person" but that kind of messes with me too because it's like...I don't like everything about anyone. I think I still have a black and white view sometimes. I'm learning to accept people for their flaws...

No Crohn's, but my grandma has that. I've had some issues as long as I can remember and then it got significantly worse when I was on NSAIDS and painkillers for another condition. It's honestly just been getting worse. I feel nauseous and sick most days. I went to the one GI doctor who took my...

I’ll look that up @Whirlwind ! It usually takes me a few hours after stress to become “normal” again. My IBS isn’t managed at all. I have a medicine for it but it makes me so tired, but at least I don’t feel sick. I have episodes of GI issues like 7-24 times a day it’s pretty bad haha.

@Friday ahhh that makes sense!! It’s frustrating because I almost prefer the anxiety because I feel less...ill (but more Sick in other ways..frustrated). The last part is very possible. I was considering getting laparoscopy done soon because I have a doctor who can do it I trust, but two other...

Does anyone else struggle with gastrointestinal/GI issues? I have IBS (along with endometriosis) but I'm noticing a strange pattern. When I'm panicking, and in an "episode", my stomach is fine and normal. No issues. But as soon as I relax, I have problems with IBS flare ups again. I've been...

Thank you @grit :) I’m still flared up today, but I’m doing things I would have avoided like grocery shopping or work. And I’ve learned to adapt in ways I never thought possible

I hope this makes my own stories I write interesting!! haha I have all the experience!! Thank you @pam4him I'm still having bad anxiety spells but I'm adapting better around it. I think it was slightly better today than yesteday and that's what matters. I just had one panic attack tonight...

thank you @pam4him ? I ended up I'm in a real old fashioned episode now, just really anxious and panicky and depressed. I finally got some sleep but everything is irritating me and I want to cry and scream at the same time. I was so good for so long I just feel so down on myself.

Has anyone hit this point? My symptoms are manageable (until I spiral, but those are usually a few days and I'm able to still "participate" in "society" which is a whole other rant but), I don't necessarily think about my trauma all the time. But I feel a lot of shame and self-hatred for the...

Thank you @Muttly for the encouragement!! I wish you the best with everything too!

I’m just sitting here sleepless (woke up shaking...idk of anxiety or cold or both) because of this stressor. My family has been in financial distress for years now. Just drowning, to get our heads above water, to drown again. It’ll get significantly worse next month. We need to sell our house...

That’s really well explained thank you @Friday !

Yes I am! I've been in therapy for technically four years, but I don't count the first two years because that therapist made me worse and actually blamed me for all of my trauma. I think I know I repeat that problem, but I am so terrified to let new people in sometimes because I'm like...what if...

Thank you all ? I've been doing better, still episodic periods of nihilism, but I'm just trying to ignore them and live my life in a way I enjoy. I've actually gotten okay at resting as well and just doing things I enjoy for fun! It's a work in process. I'm also trying to work on compassion for...

Hi @blackemerald1 ! Thank you, this is great to think about. I think I've broken the pattern for the most part, as I've let go a lot of friends from that time who still partied hard or hadn't worked on their trauma or who were just, well, mean people. But coming back to H, it feels weird. He's...

Thank you @somerandomguy ! I like your first point too. I think more what I mean is "am I incapable of having fulfilling relationships with men because of trauma", not "do all men do this" if that makes sense. I know not all men do this. Just like I know not all girls commit COSCA when I've had...

I want to preface this: I'm not trying to say I think all men are bad or anything. There's men I talk to I feel safe talking to and wouldn't mind getting coffee with. I just haven't had a close male friend in years. I talked to a friend of mine I haven't seen in years and just would text with...

Hi @Kay9477 welcome to the forum! That sounds a lot like dissociation. From what you posted, it sounds like you had a nightmare. It's great you were able to look at funny videos and calm down and get things done, those are great coping skills. For me, nightmares would give me bad dissociation...

I'm coming back a bit out of crisis, more reflective. thank you both. I definitely am adjusting from caring "too much" ei disproportionate reactions to things to caring little because I feel like I can't do anything. My friend called it compassion fatigue. I used to care so much but it didn't...

This is just an existential rant. I feel like I've worked through most of my trauma, although I still have occasional symptoms I can manage them, and am just trying to construct a new life from here in out. A new school semester is starting, I'm moving soon (but we don't know where and we don't...

Thank you @Ronin ! That’s wise advice. I think I also feel guilty I haven’t worked on what I want to be my career in weeks too, but my 2020 goal was to know when I need to rest because I work too hard lol.

Around Christmas time two of my closest family members had to have emergency surgery two days apart. My dad was one of them. It was a 1 in 100 chance of dying for his which probably isn’t much but still freaked me out. I just started to have a good relationship with him and also, am still...