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It sounds like you are being forced to confront a lot of things that never got resolved; you're facing the emotions that have been buried for so long. Confrontations are not always necessary. It depends on the person and the situation. I have chosen not to confront my parents about the abuse...

Welcome to the forum. I am glad you feel like you have finally gotten a diagnosis that makes sense and medical prescriptions that address your problems safely. If you are seeing this new psychiatrist for talk therapy, it is pretty typical that she suggest you terminate with the trauma...

LOL, don't we all. Let me clarify, because specificity always helps me believe people more. I like the layering of different tones of the colors, and the shift from cool colors to warm ones. Those two things give it a depth that I find attractive. I also have an affinity for Islamic art, so I...

Oh, Elphaba honey, me, too! I figured I'd pop into therapy and be "okay" in, like, six months. Seriously, it took me six months to open my mouth and say something real and true. This is a pain in the ass, an ordeal more challenging than just about anything in the world. It's like we're lost in...

It's beautiful, Ayesha.

Congratulations! I know getting that degree must not have been easy for you. A job will, eventually, come. I hope you are celebrating yourself, your persistence and your resilience today.

I don't know what your T meant by that--but asking him next time will help give you some peace of mind. Gotta keep the communication flowing. I do know exactly what you describe, deciding to talk because not talking is just as revealing. And I have struggled with self-harm, too, and telling is...

I am not in your situation, as I was raised in a non-religious household, but I think the trauma and PTSD contributed to me never taking on any religious beliefs. I think many people with PTSD struggle with a crisis of religious faith, as trauma challenges all our understandings of safety...

I agree, PTSD doesn't go away, but you can learn to manage it so well that its impact is minimal in your life. You mention therapy and medication; how are those working for you? Is the medication effective at reducing some symptoms? Is the therapy really addressing critical issues for you? Doing...

I sometimes fantasize about having a different life, about moving to a city far away and having the 'normal' life I've always sought. In these fantasies I have lots of friends, a family of my own, and no PTSD. In these imaginings it's me, but a better me, a happier me. I know it's...

I love the book Speak, and the movie was okay.

Sharpie makes oil-based markers; you can find them at craft stores. They come in different sizes (skinny point and fat point) and those might work on oil paints. I think the idea of carving words into the paint is excellent, too.

That's great, CB!

Often people will see one T for individual counseling, and another for couples counseling; sometimes one person primarily sees the T and the partner comes in at times to work on couples issues, but it has to be clear to everyone that the T will not then 'take sides' with the primary client. How...

Growing up, I was sick all the time. When my symptoms worsened as an adult, so did my illnesses. My doctor says she is perplexed by why I get sick so often, but I feel like I know the answer--it's related to the PTSD. When my symptoms go up, I often contract an infectious illness (cold, chest...

There is no need to stay with a treatment provider if you don't feel comfortable with him. He is not a good fit for you; try again and find someone who is. There is someone out there who will feel okay.

I work in a noisy place and it can be very difficult at times. As a3a2 says, treating the trauma as a whole has helped the most. So has learning strategies to manage the noise--I try to let much of it become a dull roar and focus on just one thing. It means crawling inside of my head a bit, but...

There is no harm in calling the doctor and asking if you can go down by a quarter instead of half. Going off any meds can be intense, benzos especially so. That you managed the feelings well means that the other ways of coping you have learned do work, but you are right to worry that it not get...

We are all trying to understand this better. It sounds like you are putting a lot of effort into trying to change and heal. I don't know how it's been for other people, but for a long time--we're talking months and YEARS, here--my therapist encouraged me to simply notice when I was dissociating...

The choice to dissociate happens almost instantaneously. It was something you did as a child to simply survive, and it was so effective that it became a regular defense for you to manage difficult things. That is why it is so hard to fight it off now--it's become second nature. Reducing the...

Good job pandora! You have crossed into a new realm, a place where dental work is unpleasant but not unbearable, uncomfortable but not retraumatizing. You did good!!

Dissociation is a feature of many people with PTSD, and while it's seen especially with CPTSD, it's definitely NOT isolated to it. The main concern for both you and your doctor is not what you have, but how to treat the things that are impairing you in your daily life.

That's horrible. I am glad the police are going after the photo distributor as well.

I've been in therapy for, well, years, and I think it's been very productive and life-altering, but it's also been slower than molasses on a cold day. It helps a lot for me to discuss my reticence on any given day--talking about what I'm afraid of makes it easier to see that it's safe to talk...

I know EXACTLY what you are describing, because I'm going through it right now. I am working with my therapist on a really hard topic and it's got me feeling completely overwhelmed and totally alone. I really relate to your feeling, "I hate that room." I do think, though, that when it hurts...