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Suicide hurts those that are left, yes. But I don't for a second hold to the common statement that it is selfish or selfishly motivated. I believe it is born out of unbearable pain. I believe in heaven and I believe that suicide can absolutely get someone to heaven. My life was saved because...

Welcome to the forum. Your children are fortunate to have you. Since my dad found out what happened to me (severe physical, sexual, emotional, and ritual abuse when my mom was supposed to be having her share of joint custody but instead would dump me off with her parents), he has been the most...

Bad it may be, but it made me laugh. Thanks for sharing.

I am sorry if my post made you feel that I was saying you self harmed. To be honest, I have never met anyone who self harms who did it for attention. I am sure that a small minority of those who do it for those reasons exists but generally it's got little to do with attention seeking. About...

As someone who is well familiar with receiving sutures, often 200 or more at a time, because of self injury, I can say I was never once prescribed pain medication. Not even when I slashed through a tendon and artery. It was just lidocaine which had to be diluted in half because of how much had...

Thanks Ragdoll. I am working at accepting compliments. I don't feel like I should be admired. But it's not up to me, it's up to others. And yes, "Big Blow" is a massive understatement.

Now that I'm on a computer instead of my phone, I can answer you better. I am still SO sorry for what you're going through. I've had 23 surgeries as a result of my own deliberate self harm. I've nearly died several times (never intentionally). And I've heard the words "We see a large mass in...

Thank you for reading and for answering. Being betrayed that way as a child was a big blow. It leaves a big empty hole that cannot be filled. I lived through everything I did, in order to just see her for a day every few months. I clung to our phone conversations and her little gestures of...

@Mr Laurie , I am so sorry to hear this I don't have any magic words for you. Keep fighting.

I am so sorry you were hurt. You didn't deserve any of it. Ptsd is rough but healing can happen. Welcome, @Girl in Seattle. Hope to see you around.

A good therapist can help you figure this out. I supressed a lot of memories. Most of them I have been able to validate, by asking about the non-traumatic portions... for example, I can verify that I started hiding my dirty laundry and washing it myself at age 7. That validates the memory...

I am so sorry this happened to you. There are no words. I hope the support and encouragement you receive here help.

Your journey with Hank reminds me of a dog my dad rescued when I was a kid. His name was Murphy. He was found in a metal crate in below zero weather having been severely beaten and starved. He had almost no hair and his skin was peeling off. Watching him heal and learn what a dog deserves...

I have a friend with this problem. She was prescribed propranolol in hopes that it's beta-blocker properties would prevent the adrenaline surge that cause her to sweat so much. I don't know if it is working - she just started it this last week. It might be something to ask your doc about.

Yes it DOES suck. I feel wildly out of control and trapped by black murkey stuff plowing at high speed down a hill. Because for the second day hubby forgot to buy milk. It takes ecery bit of strength to not lash out at people. And in case people are coonfulsed, these feeling are NOT...

Congatuolations on your brand new angel. Good job!

Thanks for the heads up @anthony . It's good to be prepared. Thanks for working hard to make this site the best it can be.

My heart aches knowing you had to see that. Watching someone die is horrible. I am so sorry this happened to you. My grandpa saw his little brother get his head run over by a tractor. The images still haunt him today, 70 years later. I wish I had words that would actually help

I grew up being ritualisticly abused by a cult. The physical aspects were horrible, yes. Still not sure how I didn't die. But it's the mind games and emotional abuse that I struggle most with. I am at a point in therapy where I will write out a memory ahead of time. In my appointment, I...

Did a lot of digging in therapy today. And what came up is this: the reason I stayed silent was because I was threatened. My grandfather always told me that if ANYONE found out about what was happening, I'd never see my mom again. I had to choose between two things that are impossible to...

I am the queen of catastrophising. Drives my husband and therapist nuts. I never realize I'm doing it at the time, but afterwards when it's pointed out to me, I can see it clear as day.

Thanks for the feedback. I know almost nothing about somatic experiencing, but it sounds intriguing. I know my therapist doesn't do it, and I'm not looking to switch therapists. But I am interested in it. I've got so many memories that bring physical pain with them... anything that would...

@City Slicker This is wonderful to read. You are doing such an amazing thing with Hank, and he is doing such an amazing thing with you. I believe that some things are meant to be. You and Hank together is one of those things. It really warms my heart to read about all the progress being made.

I have the same issue with household sounds. I sleep with earplugs, but also have white noise playing. It drowns out the other sounds and combined with the earplugs, keeps me from jumping at every little thing.

@Stickler I got thrown into a stair rail and hit my head really hard. Touching the spot causes flashbacks. I'm sorry that happened to you. @lostforgottensoul Thanks for sharing. I know our pasts are very similar. I've tried all the typical grounding tools, too. Sometimes they work, but...