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I´m trying to prepare myself in my thoughts for a meeting on Friday. It is an important meeting for my future. I have to have a plan, but it is difficult. :(I tried to go back to work in September and it didn't work. I thought it was fun and I didn't even need to do any work. Still I couldn't...

I got touched when I saw that Helen B referred to psalm 23. I have been reading that psalm for myself a bit the last week and been feeling that it is so strong. "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies" that means that He will be there in the middle of the battle and give you...

Yesterday I went to a new helper. I don't know the word in English, but she is a therapeut and also physiotherapist. I hope she will be able to help me. I will start the work with her in january. It is always a bit scary to try to trust somebody again...

I can understand that it is confusing. I want to add to that confusion...;) What exactly are you scared of? Is it a fear for being hurt again if this supervisor isn't such a comforting and good person all the time? Are you scared of being to attached and then able to get very hurt? Are you...

Today I'm out of Flashbacks:) I hope it will stay like that. I just wonder why I'm not able to understand that I have emotional flashes while they are there. It would help me a lot to understand that. Maybe I would be able to get out of them sooner...?

I noticed now that BlueOcean told me about EMDR. Thankyou for wanting to help! Unfortunately I have already tried this a lot and it has only helped a bit. But I´m still hoping to find some help somewhere...

Today I went to a retreat in my church. I was a bit scared that I would get flashbacks when everything gets calm and quiet, but it was OK and I am so grateful.:) It was possible to draw and paint and I did a lot of that. I think that helped me to stay in the present. I Aldo got some new...

A thought that I have had myself that I want to share with you. When you start dealing with the garbage you bring it up to the surface. Then the protective parts of you start working as mad! Then it is easier for you to get to know how you always been trying to protect yourself. Sometimes it...

Today I realized that I probably have had a lot of emotional Flashbacks during a week. That explaines that my body has been so strange, extremly tense and so. I've felt a lot of very dark feelings, endless hoplessness. It is so difficult whith these kind of flashes I think. I normally realize...

It does make sense! I´ve been thinkiing about somethining for myself that you also might have some help of. I think that one part of those lost social skills are that I (and you?) give some uncertain signs to the enviroment. They might feel uncertain about asking you for coming along because...

I have a headache today since I didn´t sleep so well. A bit better now since I took some medicin and rested. I have a hard time keeping some hope for myself. I do feel like my life is endning. I know that I have to stay alive because of my children, but I wonder how. I don't have suicidal...

I recognize a lot that you write. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone with these feelings.

Yesterday I saw my T for the last time. She is quitting and they won't give me another one:( There are few people in this country who knows anything about traumas and about PTSD. Therefore I'm not sure I ever will be able to get that kind of help again. It is tough...:bawling: I feel sad, angry...

When you now think about the things that happened when you were a kid it might change things for the worse for a while...:( It is still a good thing.;) You will have to deal with all these feelings that you pressed down as a kid, but is might be tough...

And I am sorry for your situation brat17 :( It is difficult when the help is a person to trust. Another thing that has been a big problem is that I obviously live in the wrong country when it comes to PTSD. They don't know much so there is lack of help. That also means that it is difficult to...

Hashi, I want to answear your questions. My T will quit at this particular office and I will not be able to see her any more. I will not get any more help from this office. She doesn't know about the trust. She has said that this has been a difficult part with me. When she said that she was...

Thankyou both of you! Seems to be a tough question... I am trying to let people help, but it is hard.

Tomorrow I will see my T for the last time. She has tried to help me for 1,5 years now. She has given me EMDR treatment and she has tried to get me to talk. It's been very difficult and the worst part has been trusting. I think I have the complex form of PTSD (she hasn't really told me, just...

I actually know a couple of people that have this diagnose. I also know a person who is going through the "exams" right now, we'll see if she gets the diagnose too. Then I know people that are harmed, but that is not the same thing. I Think it depends on who you have in your suroundings (Spelling?).

No flashback yet, so maybe it is something else going on...? I've been thinking about something. My first T that I went to diagnosed me with PTSD. She also said "I don't think you have have ever felt happiness". That was difficult to take and I actually couldn't.:confused: Now I think she...

Hi, I'm also experiencing this. I'm rewriting my story the last couple of years. I had forgot my twenty first years of life. Now I know a bit and I don´t know if I want to know more... I also see a lot of people that I think have CPTSD or very close to that. Actually I have also been...

For two days I have felt my body more than I usually do. I have a bit of pain and that is not new, but I can aslo notice how tense I am. That is something I don't always do. I just feel how my arms get very tense for a while and then let go a bit and then again and again. I get a bit scared...

I think that is a good way to describe it: it is due to the situation.

I have been calm since me and my husband went to that therapy session. I know we have a lot of problems and that it is even harder when he also have flashbacks. Still it makes me more calm beacause I know what I deal witn, at least a bit. In the middle of the week I got hold of a new feeling...

I have been reading your diary now RussH, everything I had missed. I specillay noted that sense of feeling insignificant. I feel the same way and have been thinking, or feeling, that´s OK. My reason was also for being a christian. But the last couple of years I have learnt that is not the...