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Childhood is definitely different to adult. If what happened in childhood happened to me now, at the very least I would handle it (as in action to it) so differently that it's hard (impossible?) to understand what I did (and didn't do) as a child. Not relevant to torture, but relevant to how...

Work people are the most difficult to "change" so I'll ignore that for now. Your T should be the easiest to change. Could you text her and say "The proposed appointment time is possible but the day is tricky for me. Is there any chance to keep the original appointment time, or are ther...

Lack of sleep makes everything worse. I wish I had answers, but I don't. Sorry.

There is a character trait called "slow to adapt". I think I was born this way and trauma made it worse. Hopefully you are now asleep, but I'm here if you want to chat.

I'm not alone AND When I'm suffering and I tell people here I'm suffering I receive kindness and support (where in the real world I get confusion and denial followed by platitudes and the conversation closed on me).

Welcome to the forum. You will find lots of support here as you work through this. Do you know about self soothing. It made such a big change in my life when I learnt it. Maybe it could help you. At is most basic it is to deliberately spend time doing things that are calming or relaxing that...

Maybe the language "I have a right to want this, I have the right to enjoy this" is easier than "I deserve this" as it blocks out the wording that can be twisted into "deserving bad things" Then from "wanting" the question is "can I". If it doesn't cross a legal or ethical barrier then it's a...

Maybe try thinking about what you want. You stated you want a clean comfortable home. Assuming you don't mean an unattainable waterfront mansion what would the home you want look like. Then ask why you want that vision, write it down, then ask why you want that first "why" and repeat 4 times...

Welcome By the way, you don't need to have a diagnosis of PTSD to be welcome here.

Do you know what initiates your anxiety when you go to study. For example it could be. - concern about failing - the books - the topic - the location. If you can find the cause, maybe there is a path around it.

Go slowly and do lots of self soothing. The work can be really constructive but it's best done at an intensity that you can manage.

I do "get it". For me I was being sexually abused by the second guy for about 6years. People knew about at least the kissing part (my memory is limited regarding exactly what I said each time I reached out for help). It was brushed off / ignored by many many people, every single person that I...

I also think that non genuine trauma people (no trauma in existence) will get bored on this site. After a while they will leave as they just wont feel the "fit" and being here won't be helping.

I think I understand .... I could be wrong, but if I'm right it might help... You are still accepting your traumas, how "bad" they were and how they should not have happened. Because you are in that headspace you read threads of people with similar traumas and this validates you, helps you see...

This is also how I also feel. There was something with my second abuser that was different and I have no language for it. I think having language for it would help me process it.

I minded a friends journals once as she stopped trusting the people she was living with. It was no effort for me, maybe you know someone to ask? If there are a lot you could put them in a luggage bag and lock the bag. Luggage bags are set up to be locked.

I think my point was that even within the same nomenclature there is a scale. Take medical injury: a sprained ankle is less than a broken ankle. I take great solace that my Csa never involved penile penetration. Maybe that is minimizing? but it's something that from the moment that period of...

I feel the need to clarify as maybe this was pointed towards me. My trauma was not as bad as others was who are in this thread. This is not invalidating myself but just factual. Was it still bad, did it still do damage...absolutely. I feel the need to say it because I feel guilt that I can't...

Point taken. Sorry for overstating. There was a legal something where the legal rights changed because of going against Facebook terms, but I don't remember enough to be accurate or useful.

I read the link. An interesting discussion but nothing useful from a legal standpoint. Personally I would not open a fake Facebook page as its illegal. I personally wouldn't but I understand if you choose to. If you do, it's harder to argue they they are being illegal, as you were/are illegal...

I can't see this being legal. You could cross out that paragraph and sign, then when they argue back (if they do) you argue it's not legal. From a USA website " Federal law protects renters against certain forms of discrimination. The Fair Housing Act (FHA), part of the Civil Rights Act of...

You don't have to clean your house for doctors. I had a difficult first baby and at an in home visit I apologized for the mess (it was hygienic but really messy) and the nurse said "it's the clean houses you worry about because their priorities are off". Keep the house clean from a safety...

But it's off track to the core of your thread so if you would like me to delete it I will happily do so. I did delete.

If it helps you, here is my story. I only clearly know of it happening once while I dissociated and I only know because the change in location (talking to a guy seemingly one minute and then later coming too with him on top of me). I don't know what happened, what triggered it or how I acted...

Can I suggest that maybe it's unfair to blame her completely for her actions. She does these things because of what the abusers have done to her. If she was never abused, she would not do these things.