Undiagnosed Possibility Of Me Having Ptsd

[ChevyEd]

Hi Guys,

I don't know if this is the place to ask or if I'll offend anyone with my story/question. But here goes.

So I've recently moved over to a new city/county for my studies and it's been a year and a half. I've had trouble adapting socially. I don't make much friends, Infact I don't have people here I'd consider close enough a friend to share any problems with comfortably (well I had one but I was into her and got friend zoned ).

Regardless, I realised recently how I tend to push people away, and felt safe being alone, often in my room or in my school studio working my artsy magic away. Then I watched Perks of Being a wallflower and it reminded me a lot about my situation. And read that Charlie had PTSD.

Yeah me moving to a new city and alienating myself from the world is just the tip of an iceberg. I suffered a really bad relationship a few years back (nearing 4 years ago), had a really bad time with family growing up (a dad that always wanted his way or no way and never gave us kids a chance and ran the family like a business and we didn't get to speak much, and had to listen to him talk all day, and my mum used to go nuts about It all, but it's since got a lot better as their children and I grew up and I think they had abit of therapy?). All that aside, that bad relationship I got out off had me at one point jumping out of the car cause I fought with my mum about that girl while my mum was driving me home. Stupid I know but I was young. All I wanted to do there was run away, but I ended up almost getting my head rolled over by my mum's car, and wash dragged along the road home and my mum having a weak heart and other medical provlem almost literally had a heart attack. She had to come out of the vehicle and almost dropped on th floor... I had to calm her down after realising how shit a son I was and she had to drive me to the hospital cause I was banged up from being dragged by the car as I tried to jump out. But thank God I was lucky, cause my head was under the car and my mum swerved away in time before the wheel rolled over my skull. Never the less, It was a long night and I stayed in bed for the week as my wounds recovered. My family tried to support me and forgave me for that act but I never felt I deserved it and any of that love. Even till now. Following this I kept having flash backs of the event almost everyday until I moved to this new country, there it seemed to stop probably cause I didn't have to pass by that road anymore (I have to travel through that road very often back, so I kept getting triggers there).

However watching that dam movie pushed me to think about all of that, and made me wonder if my choice to alienate myself all this time and push people away was caused by all those issues I had. I do suffer from OCD, I'm diagnosed with it. And funnily it got worse after I left the relationship. It was no doubt always there but my ex used to keep it in check. So yeah I'm just wondering if it's possible that all these are linked and if i may actually suffer some sort of PTSD and if so what steps can I take to help myself out? Mind you the car thing happened like 4-5 years ago.


Thanks in advanced guys!

 

[Anarchy]

Hi ChevyEd,

Welcome to the forum!

PTSD has a very specific meaning,
However, there have been proposals for new diagnoses to encompass the symptoms seen in people who have sufferred neglect or abuse in infancy and early childhood. These still haven't gained acceptance by either the American Psychiatric Association or the World Health Organization.

The initial proposal was called "Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder", and the Current proposal is called "Developmental Trauma"

What they seek to do is to encompass the dozen or so overlapping "disorders" which people who suffered neglect or prolonged abuse in childhood can frequently display so, rather than a laundry list of diagnoses, there would be one, referring to the cause.

No one here can "diagnose" you, and "Developmental Trauma" isn't a "diagnosis" that is available yet (you'll have already guessed that I'm not a fan of diagnoses).

From the little that you have written, there do appear to have been things amiss in your family of origin, and for you to have shown up here, you clearly feel that you are having problems functioning in your everyday life and your relationships to others.

I was going to suggest some CPTSD and developmental trauma sites, but, I'm thinking that might be like reading a medical text book, it can be very easy to decide that you have definitely got half a dozen bad things, that the probability of any one person having them all together is several million to one against.

Instead, I'll suggest that you go to see the student counsellors at your college, or a therapist who deals with trauma , as you are clearly experiencing problems, and experienced professional help is going to be far more valuable to you than my opinions on the net

_____________________
Just for info;
I was told by a therapist (who does trauma work) that it looked like I might have PTSD
I didn't believe it, and it took me about five years to finally realize that yes, it does describe my crap

 

[joeylittle]

Hi ChevyEd, and welcome - you should make a member account :)

I've moved your post over to the Introductions section, as that's a better place for it.

Everything @Anarchy said is smart. I'd echo the encouragement to go and get formally seen by someone who can help you evaluate the whole situation. But, also, the car incident strikes me as something that could technically qualify for a PTSD diagnosis. The important thing to remember is, not everyone who experiences what is called a 'criterion A' trauma (see this link here) actually develops PTSD.

Regardless - you're clearly struggling with something, or you'd not have found this site. I hope you stay and find it useful.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Welcome to the site! I agree, you should make a member account.

You'll find good support here.

That car dragging thing sounds horrible.

There's about a dozen stress related disorders in the DSM V (the book where all mental disorders and their diagnosing criteria are). Id certianly see a psychritrist as others have stated.

It sounds like you are doing better since the move and thats awesome!

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi and welcome!

It sounds like you've experienced enough trauma to have PTSD but unfortunately we can't diagnose you. I was a bit hesitant after you mentioned the movie bit as movies are notorious for not accurately portraying mental illness-----but in your case it may actually be something you have. Are you familiar with the DSM PTSD criteria? You cannot self diagnose, but reading down the criteria may give you an idea if PTSD is a possibility. (I have done the same with another disorder and just need professional confirmation one way or another.)

 

[ghotiff]

Welcome

By the way, you don't need to have a diagnosis of PTSD to be welcome here.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum!

Regardless of diagnosis, it is important to seek help when symptoms are disrupting your daily life so frequently. I hope you find this site helpful.