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Checking in. It's good to see some of you still here and hello to all that I have yet to meet. I've come back to my diary writing when things get tough. Life is crazy and stressful right now. My oldest daughter has me in complete knots. Teenager angst is brutal! Waving hello and hope all of you...

I seem to have an issue with remembering events. It really came to my attention on Wednesday when I ran into someone I had met and had a conversation with 3 weeks ago. I knew I knew her, my feelings about her were good. But I couldn’t place her. As soon as she started to tell me what we talked...

Welcome. I'm sorry for your loss. You have at least two traumas in one night. I worked in L&D for seven years and know what trouble you were in. I'm glad you're still here. We can relate to the intrusive thoughts too. I'm usually disgusted at myself for thinking of such horrible things. They...

Hey. I'm an old member here and have had relapses. I had delayed onset however since my trauma was in my childhood and I didn't get real PTSD symptoms until I was 24. Delayed onset is in my diagnosis. Since then, I've had symptoms come and go and it's easily seen in my activity here. When life...

It's been years since I've logged on. I've been on a downward spiral for three months now and I needed my diary to write in. So here I am. Some of you may remember me. I do see some familiar names. So hi! ? And those of you that are new to me, I'm hoping to get to know you. Recap: I have four...

The first is by far easier to answer than the second. The first has me imagine for just a moment, what it feels like to work hard on this shit while feeling completely safe, surrounded by love, support, and hope. Even the noise in my head quieted and all criticisms were silent. It allowed me to...

I'm sorry to hear Medic. I wish our society wasn't so keen on just the end. Doesn't it seem that way? So many things: a loss on a game, a final on a test, end of a long project, a case, anything. What about all that came before it. The work, the trials, the small triumphs, the ....LIFE lived...

It's my Korean name.

You can investigate. That's what I would do. I'd HAVE to know if it's in my head or not. And if it isn't, WHERE is it coming from and WHO is it directed at. Considering it is only happening at the house and not elsewhere...tells me it's the location. That doesn't mean it's not in your head...

I get like this once in awhile. A version I go through is with my kids. They don't know any different. they don't understand how good they have it... I'm a solver. I try to give solutions to fix it. I'm not a great listener for people that just want to vent. It's gotten me into trouble with a...

Live life. When that gets hard, then ruminate and see where the issue is. For me, I know I'm doing well if I get up wanting to do things. That I plan for activities and actually want to do them. I have energy and feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I know that I need help when...

@Flossy I feel good. When I went from 300 to 450, I had a period of false euphoria. It lasted less than a week. I was slightly disappointed that I couldn't stay there, but logically I knew I had to care. During the euphoria, I simply didn't care if it was bad and only cared if it was good...

You've got some good advice Collin. I used to get really angry, like scared of myself angry. I took a wet towel and smacked it on the pavement. Kinda annoying to the neighbors at night, but much better than hurting myself or others...or screaming my head off. The wet towel thing was just an...

I haven't read any responses. EVERYONE starts as a beginner with anything. My go to for relaxing is knitting. If it fails, it's no biggie because the end result isn't the most important thing. I need processing while doing something repetitious. (I learned to knit as an adult.) I paint, but...

Any crime to property only, traffic offenses, and drugs are okay to serve on. The last time I was summoned I was excused because it was a domestic abuse case. I'd be a little biased on that one.

I needed a doctor's note in writing. My psych, my therapist, and my GP would think me fit for jury duty. I function well most of the time and I am currently doing well. I wanted to serve if I could. But this one...I think it could only be made worse if it was a child sexual abuse case, which...

I had jury duty today. It was early, around 8am. (This is early for me. I don't usually get up until 11am.) Out of the fifty or so people, I was selected as the 25. They proceeded to ask us questions about bias and being impartial. After I found out that it was a sexual abuse case (my gut hit...

If it's important to you, you make time. I remember someone dear to me saying this to me and I rolled my eyes at them. I'm freaking busy! I am the caretaker of little humans, no way am I going to put my kids second in line to my needs. Yeah...well, I found out quickly enough that I was...

I've been in Wellbutrin for over 10 years. I've stopped a few times while nursing but never lasted more than 4 months. There were times I could take 150mg sr every other day and be fine. I had an episode recently and am currently on the highest dosage. 450 I think? It is working and I've turned...

Just because? Once. I shortened my first name because it sounded better with my new married last name. Like @BlueOrange , I tried to be official with my documents, but just recently (in the last month), I changed my website and various other things to my shortened name. So now everything is this...

Welcome to the forum. I hope it is what you need it to be.

I do both already.....

First thing, are you manic? IF yes, then a therapist would help you much better than I. If not, shopping is called retail therapy for a reason. I go through phases like this often. The easiest way to curb it is not to have opportunity. Freeze credit cards in a block of ice. Unplug the TV. Erase...

I like what Simon said. I also want to mention that after you acknowledge these feelings toward her, then go about your business. Do only what you have to do for your job, not your feelings or for her feelings. Follow protocol, do your job well, and know that each one of these instances in life...

I think sometimes we get a little too...adaptive to triggers. Especially ones that hinder the quality of life. And not only is his quality of life going down but so is yours. This is a big deal. He needs these addressed and you need to speak up about your needs too. As a PTSD sufferer, I am...