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Thank you @Lucycat .We cut down our sessions down slowly but because of my attachment and abandonment issues I have still found it really hard.
I find the whole concept of therapy difficult to get my head around as you go into it because you tend to have difficulties with relationships and then...
In one of my last sessions with my therapist he used a shortened version of my name about 20 times.
I didn't mind but at one point I did find myself counting how many times he had said it .I think he said it so many times to be supportive more than anything else.
I don't like anyone using my...
Yesterday I said goodbye to my therapist and today it is hurting me so much.
We have been seeing each other for a year and a half but because he is a NHS therapist he isn't allowed to see me any longer.
Yesterday I had to be the strongest I have been in a long time because I didn't want our...
Why can't I just say goodbye like a normal person.
Crisis team again=failure.
I can't shake of this low mood.
He does care about me.
So not looking forward to Friday and having to put on a "mask" for two days.
For me it is constantly being on edge all the time and the fact that I can never fully let go.It is having these negative thoughts that swim around and around in my head and this feeling that I am a bad person and I am at fault for everything.
I do think PTSD/CPTSD is different for every person...
Thank you @sunshineandmoonshine for your reply.
Yes it is that helpless lie back position.For me it also anyone touching me in anyway but especially my face.
I find the longer I leave things the more I start to overthink which leads to more negative thoughts and anxiety.
I realise that I am my biggest critic and I find being compassionate to myself so difficult.
I am this really intense person who thinks very differently to everyone else.
My memories of CSA have only come up in the last few months before that I had kept my memories repressed.
I have felt totally confused by it all.I felt completely ashamed,dirty,disgusted,a bad person,a complete outsider,angry,frustrated.
To make things worse I have also have attachment and...
To me my psychologist has had the patients of a saint in dealing with the different moods that I bring into the room .There is great trust which has built up between us but that took a while for that to happen.
We have had our ups and downs but we have always maintained a respect between us and...
I am going to miss him so much?
I don't want to ring the crisis team again.
Why do I always have to speak to people when they don't really like me.
I wonder how long I will have to wait to see someone else.
I didn't realise he had such curly hair until today.
I want to go tomorrow but at the same time I want to stay at home.
Say if after 4 weeks we don't have a connection any more and it is a rubbish therapy session.
I really wish this anxiety would go away.
Why am I so useless at everything.
Sometimes these triggers hit me so hard but I have to...
I think that it is brilliant that you love your tattoo's and it is your way of self expression.
I have only got two tattoo's but they are special to me as I am sure yours are for you.
As I said on another thread to me you sound like a great person and if people want to judge you alone on your...
You are probably right @bhm .I do like helping people and like sharing experiences in order to help them,I think my mood is more the problem at the moment than other people saying thank you and appreciation.
I think I am generally pissed off with life altogether and I tend to write and think...
Why do I bother.
I give up.
I am right on the edge again.
I really can't be bothered with other people.
I have hardly any support when I need it the most.
@Skywatcher I was going to write a very similar thread to this a couple of weeks ago but I deleated it.So well done to you for actually writing down how you are feeling.
I get totally how you feel about the shame and worrying about if your family will find out by reading your posts and also the...
I think that you are do the right thing by saying goodbye to her properly next week otherwise you would have probably have regretted it if you didn't.
The reason you probably walked out is because you are hurting and if your anything like me then it is easier to push the other person away than...