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Search results

  1. J

    What to tell your children

    I am entering family counseling with my husband and 2 boys (ages 5 and 8). My husband and I went to the first introductory session today. The subject came up as to what to tell my children about what has been going on with me because I have had frequent hospitalizations due to PTSD and DID...
  2. J

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    I had "Pigs in a blanket" only the hot dog was a turkey dog and the blanket was a pretzel wrap. I ate it with corn, peas, and garlic fries. My last thing to drink was Snapple's Mango Madness.
  3. J

    Are you ever free?

    I feel a lot like this, too. I feel like the process gets old, always working so hard, and still being pulled into the past.
  4. J

    Eleven Words - One Poem: Elfchen

    Mostly I wish I could just Be free of all This
  5. J

    Eleven Words - One Poem: Elfchen

    Godspeed is a tough word for me to write a poem
  6. J

    Eleven Words - One Poem: Elfchen

    Most Days I Want to hide Away and to forget All
  7. J

    My t and our "parts"

    When my parts speak to my therapist it is mostly because they have something that needs to be talked about. My therapist doesn't push for information such as details around abuse like who or where because my system is pretty clear about secrets being kept. Even though I think someday that...
  8. J

    It's not supposed to be like this

    I almost always do 2 times a week with my therapist. This week we're doing 3. So I went to the ER on Monday and stayed until Tuesday when I convinced them I was ready to be released and not in need of hospitalization (they couldn't find a bed anywhere anyway). I have been doing better since...
  9. J

    It's not supposed to be like this

    I see my therapist twice a week and have a med. manager that I will see later this week. Basically the same as what it was like before I left. There's not much for choices of competent after care around here.
  10. J

    It's not supposed to be like this

    I just got back from 5 weeks of an inpatient stay- somewhere that actually focuses on treating PTSD and DID. I got back home on Wednesday and I have been struggling ever since. I am full of suicidal thoughts, doubts, and am so tired I can barely manage to get out of bed. This is not what it's...
  11. J

    Just Three Months

    Thank you, @Binkie , that's the kind of pep talk/reality check I needed this morning.
  12. J

    Just Three Months

    I have been home from my last inpatient stay for just three months and I am headed back. A lot of things piled up in the last month and I don't even know who I am anymore. I just have been in depression and suicide ideation/attempt mode for the last few weeks. It means leaving my kids again...
  13. J

    Sexual Assault Does It Count As Rape?

    I agree with the others' thoughts here. I think no means no and a yes out of fear is not a yes at all. Your points as to why this was rape are very valid.
  14. J

    A Doctor With Compassion

    That is a great idea. I should look into that.
  15. J

    A Doctor With Compassion

    I have been struggling A LOT lately. Today I had an appointment with my orthopedic doctor for my shoulder tendinitis (which resulted from a car accident that start my whole spiral into what is now my life). Anyway, my doctor knows about my past struggles and my DID. She started by asking how...
  16. J

    Trust

    I have huge problems with trust. Even when I know that I can trust someone, I still have trouble trusting completely- if that makes any sense. For me though I try to look at facts- has this person ever betrayed me, hurt me, etc and if the answer is yes, then measuring out the degree to which...
  17. J

    Back From Hospital And Still Afraid

    @MEME , I saw your post looking for information on DBT. If you look above at the response I got from OneToughCookie, you should get some pretty good information. I know there are a lot of posts on the site that have information on DBT as well.
  18. J

    Back From Hospital And Still Afraid

    Thanks for reaching out, @OneToughCookie . I appreciate you taking the time to share all of those thoughts and that information with me. I don't always live in the realm of suicidal ideation, but it's definitely where I am living these days. And I know I need more help, but I am so reluctant...
  19. J

    Back From Hospital And Still Afraid

    @VioletButterfly , I have been to Sheppard-Pratt 3 times already. They are extremely helpful to me, but I don't want to go right now as it is far from my home. However, I have learned it the past that I can't plan a crisis nor can I pretend it isn't happening. The PHP program here just tries...
  20. J

    Back From Hospital And Still Afraid

    I brought myself to the ER Tuesday after a series of recent events led me to being so suicidal I was actually thinking it out more than I have in the past and writing a suicide note. When I got to addressing my children in the note, I realized that I was in trouble and called my husband who told...
  21. J

    Medical Ptsd From Psych Ward

    Taking pills and being and having to be rushed to the hospital sounds pretty suicidal to me. It's hard in situations when you're already struggling and others don't respond in the way that would most help you. I am sorry that you had such an awful experience. I don't think it's PTSD, just a...
  22. J

    Walking Out Angry After Therapy

    Thank you all for your responses. It really helps to know that I am not alone in this. I e-mailed some with my therapist, but I won't see her for therapy until next Thursday so I am struggling with that. I want to breakdown what happened so I understand it more and that seems harder to do...
  23. J

    Walking Out Angry After Therapy

    I don't have the full details as I was disocciated at the time, but I do know I left therapy very angry and hurt apparently. I like my therapist a lot and she e-mailed afterwards to check in, but I was sound asleep all afternoon and by the time I saw the message she couldn't call. And though I...
  24. J

    Irrational

    I think I would be having very similar thoughts. I would also be entirely able to convince myself that those were rational fears. However, you're more apt in describing them as irrational fears. I think that @RecedingMoonlight has offered a good answer. I was going to suggest seeing if you...
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