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I've only missed one therapy session so far and I feel like such a baby because I am starting to fall apart. I kept picturing horrible things going wrong all night last night (didn't help that accidentally didn't take my sleep med- it got stuck in the container when I took my other meds). I...

@Arebas , have you tried writing out your thoughts? I know that sometimes that helps me figure out what I really want or need. I journaled the other day and wrote about something that I hadn't even realized was such a big deal and it helped make things more clear. How long have you been...

I told my husband piece by piece and not all at once. First, I told him about stuff related to my single-trauma PTSD, then as I got deeper into therapy, I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder- talk about more than you bargained for! It took me the course of 6 months to really talk...

Those are great suggestions. I use a lot of them, too.

There are times when I can't stand to be around my husband. I hate writing that out because it seems so wrong. It's nothing he's done, it's the PTSD. All of my stuff came up after we were married for about 7 or 8 years so we had a good "before" time and a good foundation for building...

I just have to say that this has happened to me before. My therapist did call me, but she called my house phone which I didn't get to until after I had sat in the waiting room for 20 minutes or so panicking. She had come down ill and gotten my cell phone and home phone numbers mixed up...

@Arebas , is your overall relationship good with your therapist and is she overall helpful? If so then, I wouldn't necessarily look for another therapist, but I would bring this issue up with her and say that you need her to be clear. If she says you can e-mail her then she needs to check it...

I get triggered by all kinds of noises. I hate being in crowds or when my kids fight. So I got some headphones to muffle the sound. It doesn't cancel it because that would drive me crazy, but it muffles it to where it is more manageable. I hate the sound of planes and helicopters (I always...

I like that viewpoint. I think I will try to remember that.

Thanks, @theshadowoftheliving . She did write me a little note and I read it to myself and parts tonight and it really helped. It reminds us that she is coming and back and when our next appointment is.

If I am busy, I don't think about it, but it changes my routines and when I have down time I think about it. I was actually thinking of that today. Reading it in your post makes it sound less silly so I think I will do that. I am going to keep journaling, but maybe it would help to do special...

@Gia1019 , yeah, blocking things out has been a good strategy until I couldn't block things out. I think I've tried pretending that my therapist going away was going to be easy because I am in a better place than usual when she goes away, but, alas, it still bothers me and can't be blocked out...

I didn't even realize that. I can't imagine it, but yet I am imagining it! I like your suggestions of how to fill in the blank if she doesn't come back. I think this will also be a case when maybe I can distract myself a fair amount to try not to think about it. Reality check is a good idea...

No, I think I would completely fall apart if she didn't come back. I do have skills, it's true, but there aren't many DID/PTSD therapists. Man I can imagine that she might not come back, but I can't imagine what life would actually be like if she didn't come back.

But what if "come back" doesn't happen? I like what you said very much and it is very important, but I keep coming back to "yeah but the come back piece isn't a guarantee, she might not come back". I work hard at not always returning to that (I used to do it every day with everyone/thing, so I...

I have known my therapist was going on vacation for awhile, but now that the time has arrived I am completely falling apart. She will be gone for two weeks. I was honestly thinking I was fine until this afternoon. I had my last appointment with her (until she comes back) today. Then, I got...

Yeah, that inner voice does get really loud. I guess you can acknowledge it. "I feel really angry at myself for cutting again." and then challenge it with something like "However, it was really great that I could go so long without cutting and maybe this time I can go for more than 225 days."

Definitely don't negate the success of the 225 days without cutting. That's not to say you can't be disappointed that you did cut, but I want to encourage you to be proud of how long you went without cutting because that's quite an accomplishment.

By learning self-compassion first. There is a lot of good information on this site about self-compassion. I found that it is a very useful place to start. It's not where I live most of the time, it is not something I completely understand, but it is something I am working on.

Maybe you need to find some new strategies to help you release the anger and not just distract from it. It might sound silly, but sometimes when I have a lot of anger, I take a crayon and some paper and I color as hard as I can. I do that until I can begin to ease up and transition to coloring...

@Jadie Rose , there are two books that come to mind as very helpful. One is the Dissociative Identity Sourcebook and the other is Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation. I have found both really helpful. When I started off trying to figure out how to get in touch with my parts, I started...

I am so proud of my parts. Things went really well. The conscious switching worked and another part helped block everyone else in case they came out of comfort places. When I was waking up there was an obnoxiously loud male nurse in the room and so I switched back to the part who was...

I don't have much time to respond, but I wanted to say yes. I have experienced similar things. Maybe not on the same level, but I have definitely had parts tell my therapist they hate her and even had one literally run away during therapy. I share my writing a lot because it is the only way...

Today is the day. Switching intentionally very soon. Everyone is in comfort places and I am hoping all goes well. Thanks again for your support.

@Lauren Taylor , I just read your post and had to respond because it pulled at my heart. I am super glad that you are getting help and super sorry that you have had to go through so much. Keep the fact that you will get help and that you are getting to start again as good things and know that...