Search results for query: Ritual abuse

Well this is going to break the anyonomous part of this thread but I was forced to have sex with dogs as part of my trauma, I didnt want to and didnt know why but i re-enacted all of the cult's rituals but one; this being one that i re-enacted. Back before I owned my dog I would allow entact...

@FridayJones are you asking like how do I do when someone asks me something but I dont want to answer them? Depends on the situation. Im a people pleaser, horrible at boundries (something Im just learning), and never give myself room for human error and making someone upset makes me upset...so...

I wish I knew. Its always been, my brain works automatically still ruled by cult beliefs, and its like "must do [said ritual] because god said so" along with whatever other auto dialog around it. Fight it, fight it harder, fight it even hard (as it gets louder and stronger) and soon my brain...

Only if you are comfortable, of course lostforgottensoul, but I would love to hear how you feel ritual within a cult leads to the desire to relive abuse? And how you feel it differs to just being a learned sexual desire. (apologies if you have addressed this previously, to be honest I felt pain...

Wasnt offensive, i dont become offended easliy, was just explaining what it was is all. ;) Trust me i do my fair share of that! No no, it was posted the get it out of shadows and NOT do it. I know the graphicness of my early posts were quite triggering for a lot but it was something I need...

I apologise if the word fetish was incorrect, it seems offensive even to me now as I say it again. I think I just didn't know what word to use to describe it, and for myself, I put my own sick fantasy clearly into the 'fetish' box. I guess though our situations are not so much the same, I was...

In my trauma, in the cult, i was forced to kill small animals, brutely, and though I dont want to go into details i will say that first, its the only ritual i didnt take into my adult years and second, in my early years (18 to about 23 ish) i was an animal activist. I volunteered at shelters...

My goal with this post is to inspire at least one person who suffers from PTSD to walk a path to healing. I realized that the last time I was online was nearly a year ago. I had NO IDEA! lol. I knew that something like this has meaning so today I will just share something personal. I was...

@lostforgottensoul - I've said it before, but I'll preface this again by saying that our stories are different. That said, I relate a lot to the 'brainwashing' (why do I hate that word?) element in your abuse. It's incredibly inspiring to see the small shifts in your core beliefs in the posts...

This right here couldnt be more true. I have never really identified with sexual abuse victims and never got why until I watched Steven Stayner's movie and learned that i identify very much with kidnapped victims. Unsure why as i wasnt technically kidnapped though my mother was in contempt of...

Hello everyone, I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. I first experienced it when I was 16 and it was bad: I thought I was losing my mind, I couldn't leave my bedroom for a month, couldn't sleep, etc. But I quashed it down and went on with my life, as is our culture. Which of course just made it...

...this scale IS different for people with extreme trauma.:tup: all trauma is negative, but not all traumas are extreme...some of the cult/ritual abuse and torture traumas WILL change how the person relates to SUDS completely.:( Pain scales - 10 is "the worst pain imaginable" I tell the...

...forum. Your children are fortunate to have you. Since my dad found out what happened to me (severe physical, sexual, emotional, and ritual abuse when my mom was supposed to be having her share of joint custody but instead would dump me off with her parents), he has been the most amazing...

Sorry for the ridiculously lame introduction! I'm not sure what to title it. I'm 22 and I've been struggling with symptoms that I've recently learned can all come under the title of (complex) PTSD so I made an account here, but to be honest I'm struggling with coming to terms of it all. I'm...

The last recent tailspin i went through lasted 3 days (was the longest & worst one to date) and it started by a strong urge to cut & i had no clue why i wanted to (and did) & didnt til the tailspin stopped a bit. I was kicking the rock wall at work, slamming my head as hard as i could on the...

I havent, not the rituals anyway...well one i did but not the one everyone knows about...but thus the punishment. Cut my arm to try to numb it away to not do the ritual but alas. But was 2 days ago...since then ive just been in a horrific tailspin since. The MOD on the other site came out of...

To answer the first bit, a lot of people who are emotionally abused are usually taught to minimize what had been done to them. "Oh, please. A few hurt words?! Some people are beaten!" Not exactly in those words, but a lot of people are de-humanized and embarrassed, because they don't feel as...

Well, try to see that what they did for God was a specific deity, Satan.This is ritual abuse. You were the sorry victim of their demented lusts. Concepts of karma besides, you were the creature that was around that they tortured and it was random. It may seem weird but none of this was personal...

Why appologize for what you believe in? It might help you to understand why i am where i am with this if you read my entire, no holes in it, completely graphic story; found here (the first post of my diary): Link Removed I dont like to call it SRA, mostly due to the 80s and most of SRA...

...not getting the help you need. I also hate to see the multiple negative feedback justifying that you are in control, when you are not. Ritual abuse is satanic and something a human cannot overcome by his own power. Every person needs to be shown unconditional love and compassion, especially...

I did as well & i also had no safe place (including school). I had to look BRFB as so not to include something not included in it but it seems to just be a form of self harm (im a cutter) that seems a bit less conscience. So going off the list i found in wikipedia, i bite my nails but i think...

Trying this now being re-triggered so forgive me if its not as nice to me as it should be (feeling like doing something very not nice to me right now) but attempting to snap my head of of that. Only a small number on the site have felt the need to block me, but thats ok as i wont and dont need...

A ritual is it really a ritual, abusing a dog? I think you are using that as an excuse: 'This is a ritual therefore I cannot stop.' I look after the dog well therefore I am not abusing that dog because I am not forcing it to do anything. Actually it is abuse. Abuse does not have to be forced...

@lostforgottensoul I am so sorry that you cannot take what was written and use it as a tool to achieve a goal, but instead feel the need to justify your thoughts and actions. That is probably the most unhealthy form of survival and the hardest cycle to break. I will keep you in my thoughts but...

Don't either presume that I don't have a level of understanding on cults or Satanism. If you please. I actually DO. Not to the abuse levels that you've had or a peer friend of mine certainly... but supposition on your part is a detriment. Nor is self inflicted ritualism. The remedy for my...