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Sometimes it feels like my heart is breaking. I used to not feel much of anything. Now that I can feel, I feel very, very sad sometimes. A few years ago, when feelings were coming back after a life of numbness, I was listening to my sister-in-law talk about getting married when she was young...

I am listening and you are not alone in this. Sometimes we have to choose what we hope is the lesser of two evils. I vote don't go if you don't feel like it (I used to hate work "fun" activities). And keep working on release of trauma energy so it won't feel like this forever. Whatever you do...

It sounds like you were terrorized, never knowing moment to moment when unpredictable catastrophe would strike - at you, in your home or from outside regarding him. I pray you are taking care of you now. You can't control or cure him, but you can focus on you and hopefully begin healing...

@marylouise - re " spiritual healing", I am so with you on this and that instinct. I did talk therapy for 25 years. I learned intellectually many things but that did literally nothing to change the life inside me - body, mind, soul, heart. I have tried a lot of things I scoffed at years ago. I...

My understanding is that the limbic system cannot understand thought and language, which is why we can't just "calm down" when triggered with self-talk. But the survival brain does understand the "language" of the senses. So if you see a beautiful landscape or a little kitten or smell something...

In somatic therapy, you don't have to go into details about trauma at all. I have never done EMDR. I don't know much about it except what I've read. I know there are threads on here that have talked about it.) I have just worked with a Somatic Therapist, which has been a dream. So cool if...

I would get out of there ASAP. He is dangerous and destructive. You cannot change him. Whatever problems he has, you didn't cause, and you can't control or cure him. Clearly he is not getting help. I would take the dog with you too, and then you could probably benefit from counseling. You must...

If you have the symptoms, you might look at your childhood for the cause because being cheated on doesn't give a person a sense of imminent annihilation, etc., unless something about his infidelity triggered trauma laying dormant from childhood, etc.. But you really have to get diagnosed so you...

Please focus on the fact that you did a beautiful thing to brighten his day. If he is choosing to misread it, that is because he has a problem. (Although it sounds like you really don't know why he is incommunicado.) He knows you and knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him. He has the issue...

You didn't do anything wrong. You did something kind and loving. If he hasn't responded yet, it could be for a lot of reasons having nothing to do with you and your card. Remember you did a good thing.

I don't think it is a choice when you have PTSD. Not in the beginning. The primitive brain removed us from feeling to survive. Our body/brain changed. We became numb. We dissociated. But as I grew older and feeling tried to break thru, sadness and grief and anger, I also consciously blocked it...

I have learned that when I am in a state of overwhelm, to pause and wait before communicating. The world is not holding their breath waiting for my response to anything and I am much more intelligent and articulate in my response to people when I wait until I am more balanced and have greater...

Maybe take up oil painting again? It won't be the answer to everything but if it would give you some well being, please try it! So many things that defined you were taken away - job, husband, son...it looks like you are being forced to start over with who you are in a way. Your teacher was...

I've seen threads discussing it before. I haven't had it although once in a hospital I saw a patient who was so sunk in despair, he didn't move or speak. It helped him. I do know it effects memory. I am sure you are aware of the various somatic therapies. I just immediately thought of that as...

Happy Belated Birthday @Britt.f7!!! My dupa hurts. So what else is new. Going to doc tomorrow. Maybe P.T. will eventually heal what ails me - the right way.

I totally get it. It's insane really. I hate when society changes like that and abilities get outmoded. I worked in the marketing of architectural engineering firms for years. I remember when CADD came along, and my buddy architect who went to Harvard had to either learn the new software or he...

You sure have had a lot of lousy stuff thrown at you. Does drawing make you happy? When I write fairy tales or color, I get into a different zone and any pain I feel is more tolerable. Sometimes in life it's just one foot in front of the other. I hope you can find for just one day, today, some...

I grew up in an alcoholic family that systematically denied what was happening every day, so I have had significant trouble knowing what was real and what wasn't all my life. If your reality was denied in your formative years and people weren't who they pretended to be, it is natural you have...

I don't know how I could have forgotten this so quickly. Maybe because I am in a lot of physical pain and it drives out my natural thinking and remembering ability. (Torn muscle. It will heal.) Anyway, about six weeks ago, I was carrying a plate of spaghetti from the kitchen to the living room...

Welcome! I like your name. I used to run to music but I keep tearing a muscle in my backside and have to stop for eight week periods. Bummer! Miss the release of running with music. See you around!

It is difficult for sure. It is breaking all the "rules" we were formed with. It feels sacrilegious. It feels not right, but it is so so right. You are taking care of yourself. It can make you feel very alone, and often there is emotional backlash, which is to be expected. But with practice...

I get anxiety more in my chest and headaches and migraines for unexpressed anger. Bummer.

When I burned out eight years ago, I was still working. I suddenly sensed danger everywhere "out there". I would take cabs when it was absolutely necessary to go out. (I never wanted to go anywhere anymore. The only safe place was my couch.) I used to walk two miles home thru the city every...

I trust what you felt - that it was a processing/rewiring. And that, though strange, could be good. I have to think about if something similar ever happened to me.

You need to learn about PTSD and what causes it. Support is great, but knowledge is power. There are many articles about it on this site. My favorite book about it is Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine. I wonder too if your childhood was fabulous or if perhaps you had an alcoholic parent or...