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Search results

  1. V

    Feeling Suicidal

    Reach out to me if you ever need that extra push or want to bounce an idea off of me!! I'd be happy to throw in my 2 cents
  2. V

    Feeling Suicidal

    Much better. In fact, I can't sleep right now from all the wonderful thoughts of productive things I'm going to accomplish in the future. Of course, waking up 4 hours from now and putting all those lovely thoughts into action is a WHOLE different ball game. But thank you for inquiring :)
  3. V

    5 Years, 7 Months, And 30 Days

    First and foremost, congratulations:). I'm very happy for your accomplishment. Secondly, I must share my thought. When I first read this I thought to myself, "well at least I've never been one to purposely harm myself..." Then I thought about how I was just laughing about my diet. Making...
  4. V

    Rejection

    Hi Bloomy. I commend you for sharing your feelings. I suppose I'll try to share my thoughts and situation to you since it's the only way I can relate- I always connected very well with friends and family. Now, after my trauma has unfolded, I am completely unable to connect with them all, yet I...
  5. V

    Sufferer Hello...

    Welcome! I've found this forum to be very helpful. Depressing at times, because the reality of my disorder is frightening and the fact that I'm part of an online forum kinda solidifies it.... But living in denial about only creates turmoil and anger within me. I believe I am really improving...
  6. V

    Self Hate Is A Tricky Little Beast

    I'm in the same exact boat. I try to just think of all the people that love me- even though I'm unable to feel that love right now.
  7. V

    Feeling Suicidal

    I'm feeling so anxious and afraid of the future. I went from being such a confident, heartwarming, and funny guy to a dodgy, irritable, hopeless wreck. The sick part is my hyper awareness of it all. I'm so aware of my body language now- how sheepish it is and how standoffish it makes everyone...
  8. V

    Work Struggles

    Changing the verbiage is a great idea! I think I'll give that a go. I hesitate changing therapist, because she knows me so well, and we are making progress. Maybe I can see an additional one regarding the EMDR treatment. I will talk to my psychiatrist about changing antidepressants. I'm...
  9. V

    Work Struggles

    @Kailani So.... Were you by chance looking to do any travel work? We have TONS of great opportunities right now :p:p:p And mal... Yeah, when I first started the setraline (2 months ago), I felt incredibly disoriented and suicidal. Then he gave me some klonopin which made me feel like myself...
  10. V

    Work Struggles

    It is a rather cut throat environment... I don't dare ask for different duties... I've only had the job 9 months, and I was well aware of the duties when I applied for it. I was sort of desperate for a job and had a friend refer me. I may give this EMDR therapy a go... I'll talk to my T about...
  11. V

    Work Struggles

    @lostforgottensoul Thanks for the responses thus far. No, he is not a nurse, he is already completely out of my life and my family's life. The correlation is just how much effort he put into "hunting me down" and how my shame and embarrassment allowed me to continue giving in. Now I need to...
  12. V

    Work Struggles

    Thank you, @Mal Content for encouraging me to write about this. I am currently doing recruiting for traveling nurses. I'm on the phone for 60-100 phone calls a day, trying to establish relationships with these nurses, check in on them, see how they're doing, and ultimately get them to do a...
  13. V

    Should I Try To Take Leave Or Not

    I have no suggestions for you- I just wanna tell you that I feel your pain, and constantly flip flop mentally on taking an extended leave, quitting altogether, or keep on pushing on. It is a rather difficult predicament.
  14. V

    Setraline

    What do you take? It's so tough because my Psychiatrist kinda has that "I suggest xyz.... But it's up to you" attitude. I had awful withdrawals when I stopped taking klonopin.
  15. V

    Setraline

    When I first started at the lower dosages, I had extreme disorientation and suicidal thoughts. I could just be having a bad day, as yesterday was an extremely good day, and I'm finding that the weekends give me anxiety now because I no longer drink and smoke and gamble all weekend long.
  16. V

    Setraline

    Thanks for your prompt reply! I started on 12.5, then up to 25, now 50. I'm also taking gabapentin as a way to stabilize my mood as we find out what's right for me.
  17. V

    Setraline

    It's been 2 months since I started. I'm on 50 mg/day. I'm also on gabapentin. Feeling constantly anxious. Sometimes I can use that anxiety to motivate me to do good. Other days just staying focused is near impossible. Psychiatrist is ready to move on to a new drug. Anybody else start w setra...
  18. V

    Snooze Button

    It's my worst enemy, every morning. I routinely show up 10-15 lares for work, because I simply cannot bear the thought of getting out of bed until the "oh shit, I'm late!" Anxiety starts kicking in. Any tips? What has worked for you guys.
  19. V

    Got The Job - Need Support

    Hey Bloomy. I am amidst a similar struggle. My abuser constantly "sold" himself to me my whole life, and I am currently in a high pressure "sales" job. Something that is incredibly helpful for me is writing out my irrational fears. My therapist tells me that writing is scientifically proven to...
  20. V

    Marijuana

    Yeah.. That's how I feel. Right now my brain just can't take it. It's embarrassing and sad to try and explain to my friends why I can no longer enjoy their company. In fact- that is the thing giving me the most anxiety- now that I accept and understand my condition.
  21. V

    How Did Yours Manifest?

    Whoaaa. Yeah. I'm just trying to make sense of all this. Apologies if it was an intrusive question to some- but it did seem to be an avenue for others to vent, and did help me understand what's going on with me a bit more.
  22. V

    Started A Journal

    I'm realizing that the life that I once knew is over. I started a journal, wrote a Eulogy for my old self, and accepted that my life of smoking, drinking and partying is over. I want to good in this world. I want to give back for the wonderful 30 years I had on this earth before the trauma...
  23. V

    I Wish I Was Dead

    Yeah. I feel your pain. I remember how I used to think everyone with a mental illness is just "faking it" or has a "bad attitude." Boy am I humbled.... And absolutely furious about the fact that I can now only relate to "Crazy people." I've become so distant from my friends because I can't...
  24. V

    Wish It Would All Stop

    Bro.. I'm not even gonna try to offer any suggestions. I'm FURIOUS and TERRIFIED about the notion that the rest of my existence will be devoted to seeking ways to "reduce my suffering" as opposed to finding ways to "enjoy my life."
  25. V

    Relationship When All You Know Is Ptsd

    Wow. What an amazing thing you are doing by joining us here! To be quite honest, most people wouldn't do that kind of thing until it's too late. I am really impressed.
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