Feeling Suicidal

[VikVikViktorious]

I'm feeling so anxious and afraid of the future. I went from being such a confident, heartwarming, and funny guy to a dodgy, irritable, hopeless wreck.

The sick part is my hyper awareness of it all. I'm so aware of my body language now- how sheepish it is and how standoffish it makes everyone around me. How confused my friends are. My inability to make decisions.

My goal, my desire, my hopes and prayers are to be the person I used to be. But I know that is impossible. And that constant cycle of thoughts makes me want to just end it all. But I can't because people love me. I know I love them too but I don't feel it.

I'm anxious about having to take meds to lessen my anxiety. It makes no sense. But it's all so clear. ARGGGGFGGGGDGG!!!!

 

[BlueDream]

Glad you are feeling better today.
Get some sleep ;)

 

[SoSadGuilty]

I'm feeling so anxious and afraid of the future. I went from being such a confident, heartwarming...

I'm sorry I didn't see your post before now and I'm just wondering how you are doing? Sorry you were feeling so crappy I can identify with everything you said. Anxiety is really horrific at times.

 

[VikVikViktorious]

I'm sorry I didn't see your post before now and I'm just wondering how you are doing? Sorry you wer...

Much better. In fact, I can't sleep right now from all the wonderful thoughts of productive things I'm going to accomplish in the future.
Of course, waking up 4 hours from now and putting all those lovely thoughts into action is a WHOLE different ball game. But thank you for inquiring :)

 

[SoSadGuilty]

Much better. In fact, I can't sleep right now from all the wonderful thoughts of productive thing...

So excellently described. I often have great thoughts about what I need to do but can't dig myself out of bed to do it!

 

[VikVikViktorious]

Reach out to me if you ever need that extra push or want to bounce an idea off of me!! I'd be happy to throw in my 2 cents

 

[XXbabydollXX]

I'm feeling so anxious and afraid of the future. I went from being such a confident, heartwarming...

Stay Strong.:hug:

Reach out to me if you ever need that extra push or want to bounce an idea off of me!! I'd be hap...

Can you help me and give me some advice? I posted in a few forums I'm new to this site.

 

[VikVikViktorious]

I am relatively new as well- and the advice I can give to you is just don't hold back and feel like "you are posting too much" or "being selfish" or whatever else. It's very therapeutic to let all those things out.
When I first joined a few short months ago I was posting left and right, interrupting convos in the "chat"-- even had moderators moving my posts from one thread to the other. I was frantic and desperate for help.
People will come out of the woodwork when you least expect it.

 

[LynnM]

Do you know what might have triggered this? I know how you feel. I usually stay very busy helping others and putting myself last, plus other major outside stressors came up in my life. I am currently going to an intense outpatient therapy to try to get my life back. We can't do this alone. You are not alone. Yes keep posting, get it out how your feeling. Can you do at least one thing today to help yourself? Something as simple as eating something healthy. Are you seeing a therapist and have you been diagnosed with a mental illness like depression etc.. Look up depression on Ted Talk on u tube. Lots of good stuff. I just watched some last night and it not only gave me a better understanding of my depression but also gave me some hope. Hang in there.

 

[Justwannabeme!]

I'm feeling so anxious and afraid of the future. I went from being such a confident, heartwarm...

I can relate to your situation well - time to get back on the serotonin uptake ... thought I could live without them, hate that they make me a numb airhead, but that's better than what I'm feeling now.

I'm the person that makes friends in the grocery line, but I've been a recluse for months now - weird

I'm going to bed now, the only thing I can think of in my current state