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At what point has too much damage taken place to be salvageable?

Joeylittle, That's wonderful advice. In theory, it's great. We actually tried to impliment that very thing on many different occasions. She would tell me if she needed some time to relax and when we would pick back up on our conversation. It worked for us. That gave me peace of mind she wasn't...

"So, have you told her how you feel when this happens? How did she respond to learning how you feel? Does she see that this is a problem?" Actually, that's what the conversation was about - how it makes me feel. I was trying to have a serious talk about how I'm beginning to feel insecure in our...

My partner had always been trained and reinforced over and over again through therapy that she should always have an escape plan for practically all situations. And that if she felt triggered, she should just leave and utilyze that escape plan. I couldn't agree more with this and it has helped...

Hey everybody. I am actually not a sufferer of PTSD, but I am very interested to learn more about flashbacks, if it doesn't hurt anyone and they are able to share with me. I know a good bit about PTSD, as I have a background in the field of psychology, and my ex and I were together for quite...

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know that must be very difficult. At this point, perhaps it is the fear of the unknown that is causing you such distress? Which is a natural human reaction. You don't know what the memory is, so you don't know how to prepare yourself for it. I can...

Or you can take blackswan's advice, as she gives wonderful advice. :)

I would highly encourage you to seek medical attention, as I certainly am no doctor, but I know those are possible symptoms of DID (dissociative identity disorder). I have actually read autobiographies of individuals who were diagnosed with such and mentioned experiencing exactly as you just...

Lots of compassion, patience, and space. That's my best advice. It isn't easy. But you'll learn. Good luck.

How has this situation turned out? You can't beat yourself up for sending an ecard with purely good intentions. He should know you well enough to know that you would never mock his symptoms and that if it was interpreted as such, that the problem lies on him, not you. Of course you weren't...

Perhaps you're right, meadowsweet. I mentally fixate on things that are very stressful for me, like breakups. I get hung up and over think things sometimes. However, when it comes to small things, such as little fights, I do try to let things go. At least I think I do. Lol. Perhaps I'm wrong.I...

Perhaps you are correct, meadowsweet. Good point. I guess that was my main point of the post; Is that her personal trait or is that PTSD? So I suppose that's just her and how she personally deals with frustration. I don't handle misunderstandings like that. If I'm hurt, I just shake things off...

That's very logical and practical advice. I never thought about it as her being unable to explain why she's mad. I always just interpreted it as her being intentionally hurtful. So your suggestion would have been to relax and let her know she can talk to me about it when she's ready? And then...

Yes, she was angry. And then became unable to communicate .. or unwilling, perhaps? She didn't find my comment funny and instead found it offensive, and then shut down out of anger afterwards.

How does your hubby handle it? And how would you like for him to handle it? Or is this an issue you need to be able to handle on your own and fix?

So I just got out of a relationship with my partner. We were together for a good while. But my question is this.. Has anyone ever experienced being shut out when you argued with your sufferer? I know that sufferers shut down and retreat emotionally, in general, when they are experiencing...

Any suggestions on how to let go of this anger? It feels toxic. :/

Everyone's advice has been truly remarkable. Thanks so much. This site is filled with truly amazing people who are so generous and compassionate. I've really needed it. Thank you, genuinely. It has sank in that I am not a doormat or a punching bag. I have given everything I have to this woman...

Makes a lot of sense, Mary. And I definitely know a lot about codependency. And I definitely think I displayed many codependent tendencies during our relationship. I always just wanted to protect her and take care of her.I never viewed it as codependent while we were together. I always viewed it...

Thank you Maryiscontrary. It does seem to lack empathy. After all the times I bent over backwards to accomodate her feelings, I felt I deserved some empathy, too. :/

I wasn't expecting her to just get over it and deal with it. What I meant was can we just have one heart felt convo between two people who cared about each other before we take space so I can wrap my head properly around things and be in a good place? Because when she broke up with me, she left...

Of course I would never want her to stay with me out of obligation. And I don't feel that she's a jerk for ending things. In fact, it's not the ending of the relationship that hurts the most. Because I've accepted at this point that it's over. However, it is the way she has gone about it that...

Silkleaves, you said, "Had he given me time, instead of making me feel like my needs weren't important and I should just do what he wants, im guessing after a couple months, I would have sortes through me feelings and been able to talk to him. Instead he pushed me so far that I snapped, and I...

Silkleaves, that was fantastic advice. Incredibly helpful and perhaps how she feels. And I do get the devil's advocate. I see exactly what you're saying. I suppose that's why I phrased it to her as asking for a relative time frame of when it could be for me peace of mind. It didn't have to be...

Go hungry, that's great advice. In a way, I feel like this is a game to her. Not saying it is, but somehow it feels like it. It feels like she's intentionally torturing me. Whether that's true or not, I can't say. I hope it's not. But the way she has gone about this whole thing just has seemed...