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  1. Sues

    Music and therapy

    I love skydxddy too! I don't send lyrics or music to my therapist. I write stuff. It's so hard for me to say the words to talk about any of it, but it's much easier to write it out. I also use writing as a way to deal with all the bad stuff. I'll send my therapist stuff I've written or even just...
  2. Sues

    Using sunglasses and earbuds?

    I would love to be able to wear earbuds, but I have to be able to hear what's going on around me. I would panic without that ability to know what is going on and to be able to scan for danger.
  3. Sues

    I think I have a terrible psychotherapist

    Um, yeah. Anyone who invalidates you like that should be avoided. The fact that he is denying what was said is very concerning. If you choose to continue, I'd suggest doing an audio recording of the session so that you can play back exactly what was said. But I personally wouldn't wast any more...
  4. Sues

    Hug etiquette

    I am not a hugger. Don't touch me. It's not safe. I am good with hugs from my family and from my best friend (I have one friend). Other than that, hell no. I appreciate people asking rather than just assuming and trying to hug me.
  5. Sues

    Such thing as sharing too much?

    What @Friday said. Don't hold back. Let your therapist have it all. It will help them to be able to help you. I have a really hard time talking about the bad stuff. It's so hard for me to say the words, but I can write it. I often email stuff I've written to my therapist and we talk about...
  6. Sues

    How does everyone schedule with their therapist?

    I started out going once a week for 50 minutes. I disassociate a lot during therapy, and my therapist accommodates me by allowing for extra time if needed. I'm the last appointment of his day. So I often end up being there for 90 minutes. A few times I was there for two hours. This has...
  7. Sues

    Small things, great victories. What’s yours?

    I had a really bad memory come up in my therapy session. My therapist asked me to tell him about it. I have a hard time saying the words to describe my trauma. It's difficult for me. He gives me the time and space to answer on my terms, or sometimes to not answer at all. This time I said...
  8. Sues

    Music - Does anyone else listen to Skydxddy?

    OMG yes!! I absolutely lover her music, and also Citizen Soldier. They sing that song together. 😍
  9. Sues

    Wasted session 🙄

    I often disassociate in therapy. I sit and don't talk for periods of time. It's so hard to say the words, to talk about the traumas. BUT, sitting there silently crying is huge for me. I never used to be able to cry, to feel safe enough to do it. And having my therapist sit with me quietly...
  10. Sues

    Research Post-traumatic stress questionnaire :

    -How old are you? 58 -If you are still in school, does this disorder affect your schooling? If so, please give details I am no longer in school -How was this post-traumatic stress disorder triggered? domestic abuse (rape, strangulation, verbal, physical, and emotional) by my husband. -How...
  11. Sues

    Does Your Body Shake When You Talk About Trauma?

    I shake when I'm triggered or in distress from flashbacks. It's our bodies response to the stress. Animals do it too.
  12. Sues

    Thoughts - Is it normal to even read up on suicide? To feel relief from scratching yourself?

    I do it. When I was prescribed the sleeping meds, I looked up what would happen if I took a bunch of them. I wasn't wanting to kill myself. A lot of the time I wish I wasn't here. I want it all to go away, the pain, anxiety, depression, and trauma. I also self harm in a couple of ways, one of...
  13. Sues

    self-destruction

    Hello, I'm sorry that you're hurting. I can relate to what you're going through. I don't have answers for you. I just wanted to say that I'm here with you. You're not alone.
  14. Sues

    Sexual Assault Dealing with peoples perceptions on how I dealt with trauma.

    Hello Noname. I'm sorry you've been going through this. Most people do not understand trauma and PTSD, and they never will no matter how much explaining you do. Talking to someone about it or even just talking about how you're trying to cope, or that you're having a bad day can be traumatizing...
  15. Sues

    Navigating PTSD Anniversary at New Job

    I've personally never found someone that understands trauma and PTSD unless they've been through it or have a family member going through it. My boss claimed she was pro mental health. Her son is autistic, and she wanted to be supportive. I didn't tell her much. She already knew a bit because my...
  16. Sues

    Grounding in therapy - looking at T etc

    When I disassociate in therapy, which is often, I'm checked out, and my therapist knows he can't ask me to do anything right away. So he'll just talk. Ask me to take deep breaths, and eventually he will start asking me questions, nothing big, just simple little questions. He can tell when I'm...
  17. Sues

    Other Locked In A Box -v- Voluntary Bad Living Situations

    I wasn't allowed to leave the house a lot of the time. Yes to DV, assault, stalking (still stalks me 13 years later). I really never feel safe
  18. Sues

    What are you having for dinner? (wanna share your recipe?)

    Ben and Jerry's core brownie batter ice cream. Yes, it's been a tough day, so I said f*ck it and grabbed a spoon.
  19. Sues

    General Advice needed. New to dissociation

    Yes, for me, disassociation is often like "zoning out" or feeling fuzzy. Other times I am gone, somewhere else. It's my go to coping mechanism when I'm overwhelmed.
  20. Sues

    Gabapentin anyone?

    Hello, am I reading your post wrong, or are you taking a lot more Gabapentin than what is prescribed? Taking six 800mg caps at once is a lot. Please talk to your doctor if you need to take more than what they prescribed. I've been on Gabapentin for a few years now, and I have not had anything...
  21. Sues

    Help! No peace of mind. No joy left. Just fear. Sadness.

    I can say that I feel the same way. You're not alone. I can't remember the last time I felt happy. I struggle through life. I am so blessed to have a therapist that is not only excellent with trauma and PTSD, but he allows me to go twice a week. It has helped so much. I am also at the point that...
  22. Sues

    Nightmares you don’t remember & waking up feeling off, stiff, sore.

    I do this all of the time. I'll wake and know I had a nightmare and feel it in my body. I'll often wake up feeling bad mentally and start crying. I also remember nightmares. I like it better when I don't remember.
  23. Sues

    Is my PTSD therapist gas-lighting me into thinking I now have a personality disorder?

    Your therapist is ignoring your needs and requests. This is a huge red flag for me. You absolutely need time to ground and recover after EMDR and before you get up and leave the office. AND you shouldn't have to ask for these things. Your therapist should already know this and be asking you and...
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