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Hey there. I was diagnosed as DID decades ago, and it turned out that I was autistic, and fluctuating between anxiety responses and depression. I don't think that particular doc was capable of seeing a male as a victim. I know that sounds odd, but I have a feeling that is the case. Anyways, I...

Though at first I didn’t see the connection, I can now understand how my alcohol use was tied to my traumas. I always drank to get as wasted as possible, at first due to youthful exuberance, but later because I just wanted to forget myself for a while. It eventually started to become a major...

We shouldn't. But we do. I really doubt that there is any life without pain, or certainly none worth living. Nothing worth having ever came easy, and that is especially true in an economy custom designed to make us feed off each other not to simply break even, but to survive. I've done alot of...

Take him to a dog park. He likes nature, gets to play with dogs, and see people at their best. Cause people act their best around the puppers. <3

What's the difference in your age? It sounds like he -definitely- flirting, and edging on being inappropriate. If he's made you feel uncomfortable for years now, it doesn't matter his intentions, really. But you said you would be seeing him more in the future.. What did you mean by this?

My hypervigilance is much less now that it used to be.. (the deathwish doesn't help). I no longer walk around armed to the teeth. But I still listen carefully for any shift in the tone of someone's voice, look for any change in facial expression, suspect any stranger who so much as smiles at me...

Well, I'm totally psychotic, but it's in a way that "they" can't do anything about. I traffic with gods. I don't talk about it, that often, but people know something is up when you stare at the moon and laugh at the sun. It bothers them. One thing I dislike about our age of western rationality...

That is all... except.. Google put together this really nice presentation about it. Google Arts & Culture

I am trying, by the way, to rebuild myself. Starting up a fencing club, learning spanish, applied at the local hospital because they have great insurance. I am trying. I hope somehow I can find something to hope for, some way of caring for/about myself again. I just can't see it right now. I'm...

So.. two weeks ago I tried to fix myself, in a permanent manner. I went to a lake where I was happy, back in 96, drank for the first time in 5.5 years, downed a bottle of sleeping pills, stumbled into the lake, then passed out on the shore. They found me the following afternoon, apparently the...

I understand that the definition of 'vulnerable' has very negative connotations, but I've come to see it and something that is simply part of the human experience, and a critical factor in any successful relationship. I have wished, so hard, that I was fully invulnerable. An invincible rock that...

Don't do that. It is a felony to use wasp/hornet spray in a way it as not intended. Right there on the package. It's straight up poison and can blind people. Granted, we don't much care about the assailant at the time, but the cops certainly will later on. Instead, go with some good...

You haven't failed. Your doctor failed. Badly. It was very unprofessional of them to shame you for your symptoms. I would probably look for someone else, to be honest.

I would share. The reason is, that they already know. They probably haven't been able to figure out all the details by themselves, and knowing the truth of the matter is better than wondering. I asked my mother one time about just how far back my father's anger went. I asked if there was...

I could have written this myself. I'm in the same situation, really. I'm borderline incompetent to do a job that I used to rock Every. Single. Day. I get paralyzed with fear for hours and just hide in my cube, shaking and crying. I -want- to do right. I want to just come in and do my job. But...

I think I found out something last night.. It's odd, because when I think of neglect, I think of unheated rooms and starvation. I didn't think about emotional neglect and me. But I think now that there is something to it, perhaps. Last night my fiancee and I were talking about our childhoods...

From what I've seen, and lately had made very clear to me, Hope is a choice. So is Faith. I mean, I have neither of those anymore... but I just choose to actively battle to have Hope, and decide to choose Faith. It's very very difficult for me to hope or have faith in anything other than blood &...

I know the feeling @EveHarrington . When I get down, I get really bummed that it's only my parents keeping me alive. I simply couldn't do that to them. All the other people in my life could deal, but them.. It's just wrong for parents to outlive their kids. Ofcourse that's total bullshit. I've...

Oh, and the Goddess is Sweet Kali-Ma. She's the Hindu goddess of Life and Death. I used to feel a really strong connection to her, but when they diagnosed me as bipolar, and I found out that all my amazing spiritual adventures were basically just symptoms.... Yeah, it pretty much destroyed my...

@NatBird I keep going largely through sheer inertia. It's what I've been doing for 41 years, and I can't stop now. I mean, the only real alternative is death, or being stuck in torment til you come out of it. Also, some of what keeps me going is boredom, believe it or not. I've been through the...

I had this happen a couple of times, back when I was first diagnosed with PTSD. I think the overwhelming stress of trying to accept such a big revelation just overpowered me sometimes. It passed though.

I guess this is my normal stance in life now. I don't tell people, but I really feel hopeless and futility in my life quite often. I know it's temporary, that it won't last, but when you're in that place, utterly hopeless... how does that knowledge help when you don't believe it. I've been...

I know that I've got haunted eyes. One of the supervisors at work commented on it one time. He heard my boss take a nasty phone call from the line that I normally watch, and he asked if that was what I dealt with. My boss said, "yep, all day, every day". He then said that it makes sense...

Oh yes. For me, it is what I call the Ugly Voice.. it's been with me for practically my whole life, telling me to kill myself and showing me hideous images. Trying to convince me that I am a monster. I haven't watched the video, but I think I get the idea of it. The things it says would be...

Heya. I found that structuring my time was very very useful. I didn't have a great deal as a child either, other than school, church and eventually work. But in between, there was nothing. I mostly just read. As an adult though, that fell apart. So a few years back I started adding structure in...