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I also decided that meds were better than death. My life was non-stop chaos before them.. Well, after them too... but not nearly as bad. I can walk around now, without screaming at the sky (literally). And they have made life much more bearable. Granted, I'm in the middle of a panic attack right...

:D

Holy crap, I won the job. According to my boss I 'slaughtered' the interview, and beat the competition soundly. I was worried for a moment, but when I saw my opponents I had a good feeling. -Nobody- dressed up for the interview.. Literally nobody. They all came in dressed in... well not rags...

If you're the boss, I would start looking for another employee right now. She doesn't want to be there, you -are- in charge; can her for insubordination.. Hell, if it's a "Right to Work" state, you can kick her out the door anytime for any reason, or no reason at all. Good going. :)

Yep, nightmare. A seemingly non-stop parade of horror when I'm lost in it. Shame. Shame that I let people do that sort of thing to me. Shame that I was such a fool as a child, believing in God and trying to live the gospel.. That alone caused me so much grief, aggravated everything so much... A...

Oh wow, totally forgot the other part that I was planning on saying... Remember that Perfectionism, the expectation that you can be perfect somehow... It's an illusion. From the outside-in, people don't see -your- definition of perfection.. It isn't Real. Nobody can see you with your own eyes...

Heya... Yeah, I am often the same way. Not as bad as I used to be, but sometimes I can find myself drifting through different states of mind. I think a lot of it started clearing up once I started looking at myself from the outside in. There's a line in Batman Begins where a lady says to Bruce...

I know that I'm dissociating because of the words and imagery that goes through my head. It's like.. There are always multiple people in me, but at times one may be stronger than another. Over time I've gotten good at figuring out when it's happening and bringing myself out of it through various...

I get this. I feel horrid shame over things that happened 10 or even 20 years ago. Just little moments will crop up in my memory, and I so hate myself for them. Little mistakes, even tiny, completely inconsequential ones, will just burn me to the core. Things that I didn't even notice I was...

Yeah, hating yourself for hating yourself. Been there plenty of times. The bitterness that digs deep into a person's heart, and clouds out the positive potential in a situation. I don't know what to tell you, other than it is supremely good that you recognize this is yourself, and somehow...

I think it's a matter of experience, like you guys said. Over time, a person can become so inured to danger and trauma that it simply doesn't affect them the same way. I know that when I was younger, sometimes when something bad happened I would just start laughing, because to me it was simply...

I found this link on lifehacker this morning and thought it might be relevant to this thread. :) http://lifehacker.com/how-to-discover-your-authentic-self-and-live-the-life-1698115144

Definitely going for cremation, and my ashes to be spread in the waters off of Kingston, Jamaica... That way somebody has to take a vacation when I die.

I think this strays very far into one's philosophy of life and existence, in a perhaps inextricable way. I can tell you what the self means to me, but I would think that it is as individuals as a fingerprint. Each of us understands reality in a different manner, not so much physical (because we...

There is no reason for shame. Celebrating another's victories shouldn't come with comparison. Each persons experiences are so different than those of any other... That's why we are all individuals traveling our own roads. :tup:

I can see both sides in this thread. From 2001 to 2003 I had a job that paid $11.24 an hour, which was considerably more back then than it is now. It was in a call center though, and its approach to employee relations could best be summed up as 'the beatings will continue until morale improves.'...

I don't think they 'die' in any sense.. At least mine certainly haven't.. They are still there (thank goodness!) and still have their place in things. They helped me survive things that would have killed me. I love them all in a way, even Kid (though he certainly doesn't believe it) Even Fiend...

Welcome to the forums! :) You're definitely in good company here. I have a lot of the same troubles. I've spent the majority of my life trapped in a childish mindset, being highly dependent on others for basically everything. Those meds though, they make a great deal of difference. And a lot of...

Hell yeah! I do that sometimes too, get into a groove with a song and it just bolsters me right up. And it can be all sorts of different songs too, depending on what mood I'm in. :)

I think that I am the coping version that I show to the world. My symptoms are just that, symptoms. Granted, I do try and keep those symptoms hidden if at all possible, to the extent of calling in to work if I'm having a really bad day with them. They can at times be overwhelming and dominate...

All the time. Seriously, all the time for the past 30 years. It is so lame. I've grown accustomed to it for the most part. I know who it is inside of me, and why he's like that. I just ignore it for the most part. But as I said, I've had 30 years to get used to it. I love @Ellabella44 rings...

(sorry, I'm having to edit myself a lot because apparently Kid finds wealthy people extremely... troublesome.) I'm going to have to see if I can focus on this part. (Oh wow, epiphany.. okay we're cool) I actually deleted a big paragraph I had about the stresses of moving from one social class...

Yeah, I remember once at work describing something, and saying to this girl.. "The way it felt.. you know what it's like when somebody kicks you in the stomach 4 or 5 times real quick, right?" She replied with "No... I don't." and the look she gave me... I tried to play it off like a joke, but...

Yes for sure. I spent a very long time letting my trauma define me. It was in control and I was largely just along for the ride, or so it seemed. Then, through years of therapy and one giant breakthrough, I finally figured out the root of it. Then there was even more therapy, and now.. a lot of...

Well I'm not sure if they're tics, and they certainly don't build up pressure in the manner you describe, but I do have involuntary muscle movements sometimes. It will sometimes be like a big scowl, or sniff, or my head or hands jerk. These are more pronounced when I'm at home, having a bad...