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I read it thru a few times. So, I can only see it thru my own eyes. "I give the fight up" (I surrender) "Let there be an end" (I want the pain to end) " A privacy, an obscure nook for me" (a place to hide) "I want to be forgotten, even by God" (I see myself as no one)

I avoid using the shower. I was "harmed" in the shower, so I would much rather take a bath.

Thank you for starting this thread. I have often wondered if anyone else did this, or had tried it for that matter. Any one that has heard that I have gone back has told me that I shouldn't. So, I only go when I'm alone. In the beginning, I went so I could convince myself that something had...

Welcome!

Welcome to the forum. I'm sure that you can find some understanding friends here, to help you work this out.

She is a separate entity. She always has been.

I am often asking myself why I can't feel. I have always wanted to understand what "feel" ...feels like. I know that it is different for everyone. I have always considered myself hollow inside.

I read somewhere how helpful it can be to sit and write out a conversation with yourself. Just as if you are two people talking. I tried it - a little - and found out how easily I could shift back and forth from the adult me talking to the child me inside. The adult was both listening to, as...

My big problem is that I can't stop it. I wake up during the night suddenly, when I dream something. I usually can't remember what the dream was - it just woke me. I would love to be able to "stop" this "automatic response". As a grown up now, I would like to be able to know what I'm dreaming...

Yes, it is . When I first found out how common it was, I was really surprised. I thought it was only me. It really reassured me that I was not alone in these thoughts/actions.

As I grew up, I realized that a lot of my pain and dissociation happened during "that time of the month". The doctor told me that your hormones are very busy that time of the month. I look back now and also realized that having anything red down "there" was causing me memories and nightmares.

You are absolutely right. They don't deserve a "day" for them. My dad will deny - till the day he dies - that he did not hurt me and that "she must have made this up". He has always been the "go to church and raise a polite family" kind of dad--or so everyone thought. Back in the 70's & 80's, we...

I also had a similar experience. My father hurt me in the shower also. Now, I understand why I avoided the shower as I grew up, and only took baths. I still to this day feel very uncomfortable, and lock the door, when I take one. Anyway, when I moved home after my divorce, he became very...

I throw rocks out into a lake or pond. Tell the "rock" that your angry - then throw it. Let the rock be your anger - then get rid of it. Throw as far as you can so you get the most anger out that you can, each time.

When I was attacked, I was very young. He told me that he would "kill my family" if I told. Your wife may be holding on to something that the *** said. You may never know what it was. You should just accept that it happened and be there for her support. It's right now that she needs you the most.

Believe it or not, I have some other "friends" from way back then. They were in the "same group" as the two of us. I never hear from any of them. There was one in particular that I really looked forward to seeing recently. She was my maid of honor at my wedding, so many years ago. I was very...

I have a friend that I have had since grade school, thru school, thru church and even lots of common friends. She very rarely calls me, but is always there for me if I need her. We have gone long times between visits or phone calls, but she is still one of the friends that I trust the most. She...

When I lay there at the end of the day and replay everything that I said and did that day. Often telling myself, "you shouldn't have done that". (It often keeps me from falling asleep) Yawn!.

I married one. Every time I mention that I hurt, either physically or emotionally - he tells me how sore his back is and how he can't do anything to stop it. He even tells me how much better I'll be when he dies. This just shuts me down completely. I nod and let him talk. Most of our...

I have to do that too. I often have dreams that have to do with remembering my past. It usually takes me a few days to figure out what everything in the dream stands for. I've gone back on previous journal entries and made some sense of things that I wrote before.

I have been X-rayed, MRI, electrical shock, poked by needles, physical therapy, did I miss any? All they tell me is that I'm getting older. I never knew that just one fall can "age you". Hmmm. My family is no help. No one wants too "be there for me". I tried finding a T. But I can't find one...

I'm so glad that I found this thread. My husband is physically bad off. He has multiple disk problems in his back. He is not able to work. I have problems even getting him to help around the house. I have come home from a 10 hour day only to find that he has not even run the dishwasher. When I...

I was surprised to hear someone else who felt "safe" in the car. I had always thought it was only me. But, now that you said it that way - I can see why. Safe - locked doors - ability to "get away" if needed. Even the "isolation" that I feel in it, is somehow … comforting.

Has he taught you any grounding techniques? When you see him next time, maybe the first thing to do is to learn some things that you can do to help yourself the next time you're alone or between appointments. Sometimes a walk helps me, or just go outside and sit. Take a deep breathe and look...

To be loved and supported, just for being me.