Inner Child and Therapy

[Snowflake]

My inner child and I fail to connect. My inner child has unrealistic expectations. She wants her therapist to save her, protect her, stop the abuse and adopt her. The adult me is struggling -

 

[Justmehere]

You, your inner child, never had what all kids should have: safe parenting. Makes sense to want that from safe and kind person. While your therapist can’t adopt your inner child, you can be that person for your inner child.

Children can’t always be talked out of what they want, and that’s ok. The adult has to be the one to calmly hold the boundaries while providing safe alternatives.

Maybe your therapist can help you show your inner child that abuse is over. The more you can be the one to show the inner child, the more impactful it will be - because you are always there. Always. Even when you don’t want to be, you are there... and you can learn how to really be there for your inner child.

 

[joeylittle]

My inner child and I fail to connect.

People talk about inner child in a number of different ways. Can I ask - do you understand your inner child as also being yourself, or do you think of your inner child as a separate entity?

 

[Snowflake]

People talk about inner child in a number of different ways. Can I ask - do you understand your inner child as also being yourself, or do you think of your inner child as a separate entity?

I know she’s a part of me however I don’t feel connected.

 

[joeylittle]

She wants her therapist to save her, protect her, stop the abuse and adopt her.

What happens when you tell yourself that these are not practical/useful wants? Can you re-frame these for yourself (not the inner child) in more balanced ways? They all seem to have a little bit of a relationship to transference, and also some distorted thinking....

 

[Snowflake]

What happens when you tell yourself that these are not practical/useful wants? Can you re-frame these for yourself (not the inner child) in more balanced ways? They all seem to have a little bit of a relationship to transference, and also some distorted thinking....

Yep-I feel crazy

 

[joeylittle]

Crazy, how?

 

[Snowflake]

Crazy, how?

Just so many feelings and thoughts.

 

[shimmerz]

I know she’s a part of me however I don’t feel connected.

I think, for me, that is what makes an inner child an inner child. I feel the needs, but can't relate to them. Unless, of course, I am regressed. Then I act upon my inner child's fears in a very somatic way.

When I attempt to work at a connective level with my inner child, I attempt to relate in a way that brings us to a common goal. Could be ice cream. Could be driving. Could be a teddy bear I give her. Could be just an understanding that what she is feeling 'could be true'.

I invite my inner children into my world often. Then, there eventually comes a time that I no longer refer to her needs as 'her needs'. Rather, they are our needs and eventually become my needs that I can satisfy and thus, resolve.

 

[katz]

People talk about inner child in a number of different ways. Can I ask - do you understand your inner child as also being yourself, or do you think of your inner child as a separate entity?

She is a separate entity. She always has been.