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Sorry to hear that things are tough right now. But it's a very good thing that you are actively working to mend yourself and your relationship. I don't know you and I don't know any more about your situation than what you've posted. But I can say, as a mother, that it's a LOT of work to have...

Supporter here. I have been curious lately about the path to healing. I presume that those who have suffered a trauma or multiple traumas spend some time just existing, just getting by from day to day. And then perhaps one day the last piece falls into place, or you hear or read one more time...

I would like my sufferer to say that he appreciates me and is glad that I have been there with him. It would be nice to hear him say he is sorry that sometimes he has taken his stuff out on me. Another one here who would be very, very happy to hear that my sufferer is committing to getting...

Remember this moment next time you're feeling like you don't deserve good things. Remind yourself that YES you do.

Just take it one step at a time. It's nerve wracking when you like someone and maybe you're worried that they'll react badly... but if he can't take the next truth, and the next one, then he's not the guy for you. You're already making progress by dating someone outside of your comfort zone...

This is life with a PTSD sufferer. My bf does not trust anything or anyone. He does not trust that the sun will come up in the morning and he expects the worst and sees the worst in everyone. I guess I'm fortunate in that he does not get jealous. Or at least he doesn't go too far with it. I am...

If you think it would be too pushy, certainly hold off on getting books. The wiki here is a good place to start. And the threads too! If you have a Kindle or a tablet or a smartphone, you can get some of the books online and then nobody will know what you're reading. (There's a Kindle app for...

Hopeforhealing,please check out the supporter threads. You will find a lot of good, first hand information there, and a supportive community of people who are and have been going through just what you're going through. The wiki on this site has some good suggestions for books to read as well...

If he's an introverted smart guy, maybe he'd be willing to read a book or some articles that your T might suggest. He could use some basic knowledge about your situation IN GENERAL, some vocabulary and context, even if he doesn't need to know or right now can't handle all the horrible details...

For those following along at home, the Buddhism teacher and I checked out the meeting space and it looks like it will work. They will start meeting again in a couple of weeks. I talked with the teacher about whether he should mention my name or not. We concluded that he won't mention my part...

Feeling very sad today. The universe was thinking of him yesterday: I saw a quote from a song he really likes, and then later I was in the car and another song he really likes played on the radio. It's been two weeks since the last time I saw him. My husband noted that I've been in this place...

Just dropping in to report that (once again) I've called it quits with my bf. The problem that broke the camel's back was that he would often get triggered when he couldn't reach me, if I didn't answer the phone or respond quickly enough to a text, and he would react badly. And then he would...

He's not in therapy. He's pretty far from interested in pursuing it, either. You recognize that this is YOUR problem, not misbehavior on the part of other people (necessarily -- maybe someone is being rude or indifferent, but you recognize that they are not out to get you). And so you are...

Supporter here. My bf has complex ptsd from years of abuse in childhood, and from his combat experiences. I've only just started to learn about ptsd in the past six months. He's been living with it pretty much his whole life, but he's never looked into it from the outside, he just endures it...

Thanks for sharing your experiences with EMDR. I'm so glad you found healing. Of course I'm not sure I agree about people in relationships having matching emotional health numbers. I don't know that I fall into a set category. I have a husband who is extremely emotionally healthy. I'm probably...

Thanks for reporting back in such excellent detail, Lightanddarkness.

After a couple of days, he watched some of it. It's about 65 minutes long, and he said he watched 22 minutes. He often exaggerates, so maybe he watched 10-15 minutes. He concluded that EMDR is a crock and a scam, like Scientology. He took a look at the website associated with the film and I...

Thank you for this discussion. I am very curious about EMDR and after seeing Michael Burns' film I am hopeful that my boyfriend (ptsd from childhood abuse plus combat experiences) might try it at some point. Lightanddarkness, what you report from your second session, that the memory is still...

I got a copy of the EMDR film, a documentary made by filmmaker Michael Burns (who went through EMDR before he made the movie). I actually paid for one copy, it was delayed, and when it arrived he'd sent me three copies. I've watched it several times. It's got terrific information, many...

Heatherfeather, sure, maybe he is testing you to see whether he can trust you. But in my experience, in a relationship that has gone on for almost four years, the tests do not end. When my bf gets triggered, the trust meter drops back down to zero. The trigger is very likely to be something I...

Calmandunderstanding, it sounds like you're pretty stuck on this guy but you're not getting much back from him. Go read the thread about husbands vs. boyfriends. So far, he's not committed to you. By all means give it a little more time, see if he follows through on going to therapy with you...

Ugh, drinking. Inthistogether, I hope your partner is able to cut down and manage his drinking, or (ideally) stop. My bf is an active alcoholic and I've really only seen him drunk over the past few weeks. We don't have kids together, we are not financially interdependent and we don't live...

Welcome carebearL. Yes, it's going to be challenging. When my bf shuts down and pushes me away, I back away too. I'll generally just send him one neutral or funny email per day and wait for him to text me. Sounds like he is aware of his situation. (Is he diagnosed?) A big question will be...

Another way to determine whether you are awake or dreaming is touch. If you get into the habit of touching the wall next to you while you're awake and feeling the texture, and you say to yourself, This is reality or I am awake, then you can try to do that gesture when you think you're dreaming...

Keep working on your stuff, and give her the space to work on her stuff. If you work on your stuff, perhaps you will be able to see her as herself and less through the lens of your past relationships. If she works on her stuff, eventually, hopefully, she will be able to handle intimacy again...