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I'm very sorry this happened to you. I'm sure it was confused and harmful to you in many ways. No you aren't crazy. Sexual abuse leaves long lasting damage, unfortunately. Definitions may vary, but I tend to think of rape or sexual assault as you bring generated by something (don't not have to...

You could try boxing, or some form of karate, demolition work. Having an outlet is really helpful and eventually you may be able to channel it into such activities instead of items nearby.

I was dehydrated and actually got dizzy. Once I got home I put some lemon juice in a water bottle of water and drank the whole thing and also made hot honey lemon. Felt way better.

First therapy appointment for two different therapists they asked me that and I cried both times. It's hard. But your therapist will most likely understand. Send them an email and try again.

Yeah, I understand. For a time I did that but now I just deal with shit as it comes up. I don't go digging. I'm better for it.

I recommended finding a therapist that specializes in PTSD especially with other things you deal with (like if you had alcoholic parents, sexual abuse, etc). When I say specialize, I mean they mention it in their bio, not it's on the list of a million things they claim to treat (no one is good...

Right there with you.

I've been there. It's better it not dig around memories. Your body and mind will show you when it wants to via flashbacks, nightmares, etc if you have PTSD. But going looking for it? Not anymore. There was a time I felt I needed to know exactly what happened to me so I could process it and move...

That's totally valid. I work out at home. Maybe you could ask a friend to come with you?

Thank you for your service. It's not easy doing what you do and it's so often underappreciated. I don't really have any advice. But I'm wondering if you could switch to another, quieter, less stressful job instead? I don't know anything about medical retirement.

I still have to work through it more, but he abused me in multiple ways. I've done therapy, made art (painting specific moments and feelings), I've journaled, and written poetry and stories, I've talked about it to people that would listen. It's a lot of work. My ex helped me to find my...

I'm so hoping they do away with it. Maybe I should move to Arizona lol.

My dad did the same to me except without acknowledging what he was doing. He said "I just love you so much". I didn't realize it until I French kissed my boyfriend at 19 years old. I felt a sense of despair that my first kiss had been stolen by him. It's horrible and it's perfectly valid as...

I got some tips. I told everyone I really care about (my family, and daycare provider) that I keep my phone on do not disturb when I'm working so if they have to contact me in an emergency to call twice in a row back to back to override it. There's other similar filters you can use on your...

All this time, we've been getting the acronym wrong!

That's exciting!

So I guess what I would say (best I can explain) is it's more than a mood shift. My behavior, posture, motivations, personality traits (introversion, extroversion, outgoing or withdrawn etc) shift, often in a completely opposite extreme as my "normal self".

I love Beatrix Potter ❤️

That's understandable... I don't feel very comfortable being out in the dark especially certain areas. People just tend to be crazier, high, and generally up to no good at night in the dark. Nighttime is a perfect cover for crimes. The mice thing took me back (in a good way!). When I was a...

When this happens to me I usually blame it on being busy even though I'm not busy and purposefully keep it that way. My life has a delicate rhythm, I say no to what doesn't work for me. It keeps me sane. People understand busy. They don't understand mentally ill. Frankly, I don't want them to...

Sorry if I got too rambling and over sharing in my previous message. Basically, take it slow so you recognize red flags and signs when they come and also recognize green flags. And aren't attached too soon so you can see signs and traits for what they are. Know what your deal breakers are (maybe...

You'll have to leave that guy. You can try to find a roommate or be someone's roommate. Check if any friends or family would take you short term. It is expensive, especially to live by yourself. As far as not getting into relationships like that again, take things slow (even uncomfortably...

This makes me think. Growing up I was afraid of the dark, but really I was afraid of demons or some paranoia (like being afraid men were hiding in my room, bathroom, or outside my window waiting to get me). So honestly darkness was the only thing I had words for. I never told anyone about the...

I think a lot of disorders (personality disorders, bipolar, cptsd) can also have personality splitting as long as the person experienced trauma from a young age. Yes, it is complex, lots of people have trauma but don't end up splitting or having cptsd, etc, it all depends on genetic factors and...

So I can't speak to her and what all she has going on personality-wise. So please understand I'm not trying to diagnose her. I have personality splitting and some quotes and contradictions that she has I can definitely relate to with having personality splitting. So personality splitting is...