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Why do people tell me not to kill myself? Does it make THEM sad? I guess I'm around to prevent my siblings and nephew from being traumatized, at this point. And prevent my dad from using it for pity points. And of course so the cats and doggo and bird don't have to have a bunch of big changes...

i've been putting off going to the hospital for over a year and now it feels pretty useless to even try, to be honest. im just here. every day feels like such a long time.

yes :) still very depressed overall but at least her ex is leaving us alone again for a while

He chickened out 👍 Did not show :)

I am just very glad he can't offend my mom at this point

I did also inform a trusted neighbor to look out for suspicious activity. They said he was sorry he's doing this during this difficult time and I told them that to be honest I was kind of expecting it.

He used to scare me but I would like to beat him back for once now. Probably better to just call cops of necessary though -_- guess we'll see. He said he was planning to come by Thursday, which is very specific so we'll see if he actually does that or picks a different secret day. I would be...

He said he has a right to "break down the door and break in" at any time since my mother died (he doesn't) and to expect him. I called the police to "make sure it was legal" (it's not) (but ofc the dispatcher couldn't say that bc laws) (but now they know to listen for his mayhem at least)...

Oh also my dad is trying to pull the "wow I inherited the house :v I was a very good father and the only reason you came out intelligent and successful is because of the cool way I raised you :)" thing again

She has also outlived the vet clinic's mascot cat, who was 14 (she is 15)..... My friends/siblings and I have been joking that nestle is stealing live forces to extend her life

Doing better again Turns out I forgot to take my asthma medicine yesterday, and I get suicidal about 12 hours after not taking it typically Kind of wondering if there are other meds besides that one because despite the suicidal thoughts, I'm hoping to beat depression and outlive my best...

Not sure what to say either except that I'm so tired of grief. I used to want a normal life and the more I work towards it the worse it's all gotten. Now it I don't know if it can get any worse, I wish it would. Very overwhelming and confusing and overall just bad ETA I hope you get to the...

Doing really really badly tonight

Thank you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Much lighter without all that pesty water