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  1. L

    I Saw My Mother Today.

    On the surface, to a strangers eyes, my mother would of seemed a normal caring mother, but she is an actress, I believe she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This is the woman who was emotionally and sexually abusive towards me. The sexual abuse was not THAT bad as far as I can remember...
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    Really Stressed Out, What Am I Doing With My Life?

    I have never been good at doing things like resumes, job applications, calling people to ask about jobs, etc, it all just freaks me out. Staring at my resume reminds me how many dead end jobs I've had. It reminds me I dropped out of college because I had too much anxiety to focus in class. It...
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    Sex Is Kind Of Gross.

    I haven't posted here in a while, but here goes. As the title suggests, this is about sex, so it might be triggering, although I will only discuss it in vague terms, I have no plans to get into the graphic details. I am a 28 year old man, lifelong loner due to crippling social anxiety...
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    I Love Who I Am.

    I am an amazing man. I have been through hell. I have seen a side of human nature so dark most people cannot even comprehend it let alone accept it. I have had unbelievable amounts of pain in my life and have met it all with bravery courage kindness and love. No one can hurt me enough to make me...
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    I Think I'm Sabotaging Myself.

    This is strange for me to say, but I think I am subconsciously sabotaging my life, in pretty much every aspect, and have been for a while. I like to think of myself as a very self aware and analytical person, so this seems so strange to me, but its starting to become clear. I've worked long...
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    Brainwashing yourself with the truth, or, how to create a positive self image.

    For some things, perception is reality. Many people are successful, not because they are more talented or capable, but simply because they believe in themselves, and work towards creating the reality that they believe can exist. People who lack this belief are more easily discouraged by...
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    Am I A Horrible Person If I Don't Go Visit My Sick Old Grandma Before She Dies?

    Some background info, I never spent much time around my grandma but she is a sweet lady and is the only family member that ever loved me I think. She is 88 and has dementia. I call her sometimes which I think she appreiciates. It would make her happy if I visited. However, she is staying with...
  8. L

    Yoga/meditation

    Anyone into this? If not, I highly suggest it. I did yoga years ago a few times but haven't tried it since until today and was amazed at how grounding and calming it was. It emptied my mind and broke down some of the barriers I put up against let my emotions flow freely. Plus, cute girls in...
  9. L

    Taking A Wilderness First Responder Course And Freaking Out

    OK a little background. I did horrible in school, freaking horrible. Classes I knew I was good at like english and philosophy type stuff I excelled at , math, science, I did very poorly at. I dropped out of college after failing a bunch of classes. I'm not stupid, at all, but I was overwhelmed...
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    How To Grieve?

    It has become clear to me that I need to grieve for all the pain I have endured over the years, especially as a child, especially the pain that comes from having monsters instead of loving parents. Not long ago, I really let myself go there for a few days. It wasn't exactly pleasant but...
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    So Alone, I Am My Own Abuser

    I feel so completely alone right now. No one has ever loved me, except maybe my grandmother but I was never really around her much. I've never had anyone to be there for me or comfort me. I am so hard on myself. Really I should be feeling happier these days. I have accomplished so much. In the...
  12. L

    Happy 4th Of July Everyone

    I have made a lot of progress and I no longer feel scared or angry at fireworks, but I really can't say I enjoy them much either. Lets call it common annoyance.
  13. L

    Anxiety About Pretty Much Everything.

    I get anxiety so bad it hinders me from doing just about anything. I get it in all social situations, I try to be outgoing but anxiety turns me aloof and distant and I dont connect with people, I dont make them want to be around me. I love to play music, but every time I try to learn a new song...
  14. L

    Salt Lake City

    I'd like to meet anyone in the SLC area. Really I dont care if youre a sufferer or supporter, combat or childhood ptsd I dont care. I'm not looking for you to understand my issues or comfort me about anything, I just would like some social interaction and to meet new people. If we become friends...
  15. L

    Sufferer Lifelong Loner And Ptsd Sufferer

    Hi, I'm David. I've been reading this site for a while but never posted. I'm not even sure where to start explaining my shit. My whole family has severe mental disorders, my mother fits the archetype for Narcissistic Personality Disorder perfectly, all I have ever been to her is an object to use...
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