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I have taken a huge step back from this forum since my sufferer and I stopped talking 10 months ago. I made the decision to stop playing the push away, pull me in again game after years and years of the back and forth. I have been completely heartbroken because of it but have also felt so...

Ugh. I know there is no real answer to this. But I just keep coming back to the question of... How do I let him go? My heart breaks when I think about it... Makes me sick to think about it REALLY being over. But I'm holding onto something that I don't know if I will ever really have. And when...

So, my guy has started coming around again... well, not physically coming around but communicating almost every day with me for the past couple of weeks. It's been a while. I was doing so well without him, giving him space and time... moving forward in my life because I know that I cannot just...

Okay... so I've been doing GREAT on an individual level lately... almost 6 months and going strong where the up and down roller coaster hasn't been kicking my ass.... just been on the upward slope and it' been wonderful and freeing. I've weened myself away from the hold that my guy (who is a...

I was with my sufferer this past weekend and things were great overall... more natural than it has been. He seemed more connected in general which is a great improvement and I was able to not be so guarded so the combination worked well. He was able to look me in the eyes which has been rare...

It's been 3 months since I've seen my guy (K), but to me, it seems like he is getting better - much more communicative. I've learned how to talk to him and I now get regular responses and we have conversations a few times per week. (PROGRESS!!) I've been in a good, strong place -- a place where...

I'm tired... exhausted, actually. I'm tired of fighting, tired of feeling alone in whatever this relationship is, tired of having to be strong, tired of being ignored, tired of not being able to have conversations about what is REAL in both our lives, and I'm tired of waiting. I miss him...

I've been here all morning sitting in my head with my thoughts... and then it dawned on me that maybe it would be just best if I sat here and let my thoughts out so I don't have to hold onto them all day. So here I am. I hosted a dinner party last night for friends to gather together before...

So I was having a decent conversation today with my guy... we have been making good progress this week which is a welcomed change. :) It's Veteran's Day today and to me, I feel it's almost ignorant NOT to acknowledge this and to express my gratitude for him being who he is and for choosing the...

This time, his silence lasted a month and it's taken me just about the entire time to get to a solid, positive place within myself again. I should be used to this since we often went this long without speaking during his multiple deployments the past 4 years... but he's home now, so it's really...

Hi. I'm having a difficult time right now and came across this post... just reaching out. I have a friend (term used loosely as I would define our relationship as much more complicated and involved than that), who recently came back from a long tour in Afghanistan. We have a really unique...