Search results

I have been working really hard at therapy for a few years now, and a bit over a year ago started to tell my therapist more about the sexual abuse. There have been a couple of big details that i withheld and then let go of at other times, probably one of the biggest last week. I am feeling...

Today is my first day back at work after a two week vacation. My husband and I went on a 10-day trip to Italy to celebrate our 10th anniversary. It was a really lovely trip, I felt better, there weren't as many triggers - it was like an escape. Well, I have been back at work for just today -...

I am losing it a bit and don't know what to do. I found out the oldest son of some friends had been abusing a boy/boys - and charges have been filed. He is 15 (I believe) and has been through so much himself (adopted at about 5 after experiencing years of abuse himself). I guess this also isn't...

My husband and I got into a fight yesterday about my PTSD. He was saying how tired he was and was feeling like I was not doing my fair share - I asked him how he would respond if I had cancer - and he said that this isn't cancer, it isn't at the same level. I don't like playing the game of -...

I'm feeling crushed right now. I was abused by boys who were 11-12, I was 5. We went to dinner at a friend's, My husband was having a conversation about a situation at our friends work, and he mentioned a 6th grader who was known as a sexual predator (or something to that effect). And my...

I am so busy, I love my job, but I have so many days where I feel like I have to convince myself over and over to come.....

My parents moved to another state about two and a half years ago. It has been really, really good for me and being able to start healing from my past. I have worked really hard at certain boundaries, I don't call very much, just for my own protection of my emotional well-being and healing...

I was sexually abused as a young child by older boys. Recently my brain has been so insistent on the words - sexual abuse, molestation, and rape.... The last one is really hard for me. Because there was no actual intercourse - but rather using objects and oral sex. It just feels so wrong to...

I don't really know how to describe it, but it's like the memories of abuse feel like a dream. Or far away/not real. Like - they happened, I know they did, but there is a veil there - or maybe that just wasn't me? It is really messing with me. It is making me feel like they truly are not real.

Cutting is a coping mechanism. It just is. It provides relief. I don't like it, it causes suffering, but it feels good. But everyone freaks out with it. My friend has trichotillomania. It is a coping mechanism all the same. But no one freaks out as much. Why can't I just cut. Why does it...

I feel like I am on the verge of a (what I call) "PTSD meltdown".... I just passed by an accident this morning on my way to work. I saw the woman behind the wheel, she appeared unconscious, it looked like there was gasoline coming from her tank. I called 911 and gave the information. I cannot...

Depression is starting to take over. For the first time ever - I officially "quit" over the weekend. We were supposed to go out of town for a family wedding, on Saturday morning I just threw in the towel - I couldn't do it. So my husband and kids went without me - because I just could not...

So, T and I had our normal 2 hour "funfest" therapy session yesterday. It went well, left in a good place, etc. T and I have a close mutual friend. We know this, have talked about it, etc. It's not really a huge deal, we had only run into each other once outside of the office over the past 2...

Hi everyone. I am finally feeling ready to disclose the details of the sexual abuse to my husband, and so I made a session for him to come in with my T present. I am terrified. I AM ready - it is hard for me that he doesn't know and I want him to - I just wish I could skip over the part where I...

I love my T. He's amazing, good at what he does, and we work so well together. I feel safe and I trust him, which is huge. We have had a number of intense and amazing conversations about how I'm good enough, there is nothing wrong with me, and what happened to me was not my fault. He holds...

T and I had a good session yesterday - he tried something new and wanted to talk to "Megan's Shame" - so we did that, and I let the shame part of me talk for a bit. It was interesting, I felt like it was a useful exercise. However, not too long after I left my session, I feel like I am...

I was reading an article from The Mighty - and it was a personal piece about PTSD and she talking about dissociation. She talked about it like emotionally checking out. I get like that. I have a lot of thoughts, a lot of things that should be making me upset, but I just turn inward. I don't...

I posted yesterday about how I was re-traumatized from a medical procedure - and ended up relapsing yesterday and cutting. I just couldn't stand the feelings/memories any more - I needed something to make it go away! It had been 225 days since I last cut and I am so sad and disappointed that I...

Hi. I needed to have a screening colonoscopy done - as I have a high risk of polyps/cancer. I had it done yesterday. I was very upfront with the nurses/doctor about my PTSD and concerns - I did not want to wake up at all during the procedure. I was woken up about 10 seconds too soon - and...

I have been feeling (somewhat) brave and strong recently, with being able to disclose the details of the sexual abuse I went through, but now I feel like I am falling apart. I don’t feel brave or strong any more – I don’t even know what I feel, but it isn’t good. I have 220 days free from...

I'm really having a tough time in advance of my session tomorrow....I have been working really, really hard on my sexual abuse (ugh, I even have a hard time typing that out) we have been going slow and I have been telling him what happened piece by piece. There is really only one thing left -...

I've gotten to place where I can really dive into my trauma, which is both good and horrible. I have found that talking about it and allowing myself to feel the intense emotions, I will often get triggered and start having flashbacks/body memories - which require my T to work to ground me and...

Hi everyone - I will preface this by saying that I realize that I am WAY too judgmental and harsh on myself, so I realize that my emotions/beliefs probably do not correspond with reality. I really struggle with accepting that being triggered and having flashbacks is okay/normal. I have a...

I need some support here...I don't know where else to go... Last Friday I took a huge leap with my therapist and disclosed some things about the CSA I experienced - the details about why I continue to feel at fault for what happened - I can't even type it out... My T was very supportive, he...

My therapist sent a note this morning that he and his wife just had their new baby (I knew this was coming, although obviously exact timing was up in the air). I am very excited for him, and logically know that I will be fine, and in all honesty, this is a great time to take a week break - as...