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some of you may remember some of my other posts about my flashbacks. they are getting worse, and i am wondering if i am on the edge of something potentially (psychically) dangerous. i was hoping to check in with others who have had amnesia for CSA, as this is a unique experience. the abuse...

has anyone experienced very bad vulvodynia or genital pain when dealing with CSA flashbacks? i have been in treatment (both specialist and physical therapy) for pelvic floor pain and unwanted persistent arousal for years now, with low success, but it has really never been this bad. the area...

i made a trauma diary about this, but basically it feels like some big stuff from childhood is coming into awareness. it’s been years coming, and now it feels clearer and more real what actually happened. i’m at a loss because i feel so crazy and overwhelmed by what is happening to me. i could...

i read about postraumatic chronodisruption here. i have mild but accumulative sleep issues compared to many with ptsd/cptsd. in briefer acute episodes i have insomnia and/or nightmares i wake up terrified from in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep out of fear of re-entering...

it seems that some people have the full reliving cinematic immersive type flashbacks (you're for a moment back in the war because of a loud noise that triggered you, you're having consensual sex and your partner is suddenly your rapist), while others tend to have more partial sensory flashbacks...

is it an addictive mechanism at its heart? when someone (especially someone in uneven power dynamic) starts to groom me i get sucked in really fast. like really really fast. it’s like in a movie when someone thinks they’re free and moves to escape and looks down to see they have already been...

i experience some variation of brain fogginess that i’m currently interpreting as dissociation or stress-related symptoms almost every day. i feel some kind of: cloudy, woolly, fuzzy, blocked, soupy, lagging, glitching, like head is a balloon, brain is only partially attached, head pressure...

i told the ketamine psych that i had the dissociative subtype in the consult but did not say i have a dissociative disorder and forgot to mention my somatoform dissociation and conversion disorder symptoms, which can be very bad. i just am not going to tell anyone new about the DD, it is too...

my therapist who specializes in cptsd thinks i have OSDD or DID instead of cptsd w/ dissociation. over 5 years with 2 therapists my dx has gone from ptsd to cptsd to DD, it has been 2.5 years with her. she said she has seen switching and that my level of dissociation and DPDR is beyond cptsd...

i hug my therapist at the end of every session, and at the beginning the hug had a little distance, but now we hug full body and somewhat long (20-30 seconds) and i can’t even express how good this feels, it is like swimming in the warm ocean or something. i bury my face in his shoulder and...

lately i’m thinking about self-compassion and self-forgiveness. therapy introduced me to both concepts and i feel i haven’t made progress on the latter. i’m curious about how you approach this. i understand self-compassion as a concept, but i am still confused about what to do with the guilt...

sometimes i wake up totally exhasted and sweating from a nightmare even if i get a full night of sleep. the past couple nights before i slept only 4 hrs and yet this morning i woke up after 7 hrs from a nightmare and could barely drag myself out of bed. i’m still walking around my house like a...

i talked about my abuser in therapy and then that night i had a dream with my abuser in it. in the dream he wasn’t being violent but when i woke up i wasn’t able to move and it felt like someone was in the room holding my wrist tightly. i tried to lift my hand and i couldn’t. it was like pushing...

if this has happened to you can you tell me a little about your story and how it started and happened? either here or pm me? i’m so confused about what is happening between my therapist and me. a lot of people talk about transference here and i wonder if it’s all in my head and that it’s...

therapy and recovery is crawling for me. another session spent avoiding the topic. awkward session. i can’t seem to get to the point of talking. i get frustrated that i’m not moving forward and so answer therapist’s questions about other life issues with one word clipped answers. i don’t want...

i don’t have nightmares every night but i can’t remember the last time i had a truly positive dream. if they aren’t nightmares (lately of being chased/hunted or looking down to see i am gravely injured), they’re anxiety dreams about work or relationships. like, forgot to go to class all year...

i feel so disconnected from everyone and everything on earth. like i am never going to ever feel connected to the world again. i try and try to re-integrate myself and eventually just give up and accept that i am a stranger in the world and that the world will never accept me for who i am, and...

my therapist just told me my case is complicated. my substitute therapist said my case is complex. my psychiatrist said my case is complex. i know my therapist and psychiatrist have diagnosed ptsd but no one has used the phrase “complex ptsd.” i don’t know if that’s what they mean. if that’s...

does anyone else have good weeks and it gives you a false sense of security? i have had a really rough few months with ptsd and the past couple of weeks were very bad for me, where i wasn't sleeping much at all and the insomnia was exacerbating every symptom i have, including leading to panic...

can someone help me understand the difference between tactile flashbacks and ‘body memories’? is the latter a real thing with evidence? one night in bed i started feeling tingling and pain and other sensations like something was entering me vaginally and now every night in bed i experience the...

i’m lying in bed scared of the dark like a child. i need the light of my phone. whenever i turn it off i feel like i can sense things in the darkness with me. i even had an “intrusive thought” about something grabbing my ankles and pulling me under the bed. it makes me feel paranoid and crazy...

i am crawling out of my skin with restlessness. i try to turn this restlessness into something good and do something productive to distract from the feeling, but i can't concentrate on anything. i try to watch a show and can't do that either and just scroll through my phone. i just want to go go...

ever since i started doing trauma work in therapy i have been panicked almost constantly, always in flight response. i had constant anxiety and dread before this, both of which caused me many problems, but it's not even close to that anymore. now it's intense and relentless dread that i can't...

have you recovered blocked memories from a traumatic event? please note that i am asking about a fragmented event that i have always remembered in parts, not a totally repressed memory i don’t know exists, as the situations are a little different. i have an incomplete memory of a sexually...

my therapist is gone for 5 weeks and we had only recently begun working on trauma. therapy triggered me early in the summer and for months i was panicking literally all the time and barely functioning and only recently have pulled myself together so i don't lose my job. doing this has meant...