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Yes, I've had many times that I've self harmed days in a row. I'll scratch the scabs off and keep the injury there longer because that helps too. There's the shame, embarrassment, and self hatred involved, but still I do it, repeatedly. Then I'll overcome it for a while and fight not to do it...

It's impossible to talk about this with others that don't understand. No one knows except my therapist, and he is really good about it. He knows it's not suicide, and that it's a coping mechanism. I was really struggling tonight. I had a bad week, and today was particularly bad.

This makes sense to me too. I've struggled for many years as well. It's only been a little while since I last cut. Maybe 3 months, but before that it was probably a year or more. I feel the shame and guilt afterward, but I like the pain and marks/cuts afterward. I don't know if that makes sense...

She asked for space, so give her that. That means don't contact her, don't ask her questions, leave her alone until your date to reconnect and communicate. If you violate that space, it will feel like a violation to her and that she can't trust you. I know this is hard and horrible for you, but...

My therapist has asked me what I need or what helps me and over time we've discovered together what works. For me, breathing is my best go to, but when I'm disassociating (I actually do this a lot in therapy), it's hard for me to do anything or to respond. My therapist waits, gives me some...

One big, long nightmare. I was back in that bad place. 😞

Hi Sophiem121 I relate to this a lot. "trauma-versaries" will kick your ass. I have a lot of them (I have CPTSD), and often my body and anxiety will start acting up before I even realize what's going on or what the date is. This is normal. It sucks. I try to use grounding techniques when it...

There's so much, and it's all so, so bad. Just scrolling IG is dangerous now and impossible to get away from it.

I'm praying for you Tanishq, for God's intervention in bringing the right helpers and supporters to you. I plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, spirit, and body for strength, healing, and comfort, in Jesus' name!

Hi and welcome to the forum! Nothing to be ashamed of. I self harm and punish myself by hurting myself.

Yes. This exactly. This is what I do to make it through what I call the rough times. I also bury it in my head. I have a lot of experience with burying all of the bad stuff. It's been a go to coping mechanism for a very long time. It doesn't work well, but it gets me through some stuff for a...

I can relate to this. Most of the time, almost always, it's not voluntary. I have no control over it. I don't even know it's happening until it happens. But, on the very rare occasion that I can feel myself "drifting" for lack of a better word, I can let myself sink the rest of the way into the...

OMFG, Yeah, you absolutely need to do, and practice repeatedly, the safe space thing before you start EMDR. That's just basic stuff, and very necessary. This is not good at all. It sounds like the therapist doing the EMDR was not trained properly and they can cause more damage. I wanted to ask...

I can relate to this! I live in a condo and our previous neighbors would slam their front door so hard it rattled the walls. The door slamming and walls are both huge triggers for me. Our current neighbor has a child that bounces off the walls and runs up and down the stairs creating so much...

I've heard others say that they aren't their trauma. To me, healing is scary because I don't know who I'd be without my trauma. It's been a part of me for so long that I don't remember who or what I was before it. That life that I lived before the trauma is just that, another life, someone...

We need connection to heal. I think it's normal for us to form some sort of attachment to our therapists. Personally, I know and respect the therapist/client dynamic, and I don't think of him as a friend. He's my therapist. I lean on him a lot. I need him to help me navigate the mess that is my...

Hi LucyLou, Just a thought that you could still send it so that she's aware of it, but make it clear that you are not ready to talk about it yet. I've emailed my therapist many times with things that I know I won't be able to say out loud. It helped for him to know. He asks me about it, but if I...

Hi, I'm struggling with something my abuser said in court. I was married to him for over 20 years, it's been 15 years since my son and I escaped. He's retired LAPD and has always found us and continues to violate the DVRO I have on him. I've never talked about the physical abuse to him or in...

What books do you recommend?

I dissociate a lot during therapy. My therapist is gentle with me about it and slowing guides me back. He's never told me that I need to not do it. He simply reminds me that it's normal and it's a coping mechanism, and a smart one, that kept me safe during the traumatic time. We work on...

I've done EMDR for 3 years and even before I began the actual processing of EMDR, my therapist worked extensively with me to develop coping skills, the "safe place" and the container that we used before, during, and after the EMDR. You shouldn't start EMDR until those skills are in place, and...

This is a huge red flag. Therapists are not allowed to do this. ever. Also, what Movingforward said. He works for you and is there to support and guide you. I'd have a serious conversation with him and lay down the ground rules and boundaries. If you feel he can't respect your boundaries, then...

I also have CPTSD, and I'm a mess. My therapist will leave an extra 30 minutes open at the end of my session in case I need more time. I am very lucky that he does that. I've always thought that I was too much, too messed up, I still do, but he reminds me all the time that I'm not. I think it's...

I just wanted to let you know that you are not more difficult. What you're describing is completely normal. 🙂

Hi SoulSeeker, I can relate to everything that you've said. I have an excellent trauma therapist who has helped me a lot and who 'gets it.' We've been doing EMDR off and on for about 3 years now. He's an EMDR instructor as well. I say off and on because we take breaks. We've found that helps...